how would you feel when you learned that your partner talks about you..

Philippines
September 30, 2008 2:37pm CST
especially amongst his friends? i have started a discussion yesterday on how far we will tell our closest friends regarding our realtionships/ do we tell everything to them and i received seven responses. all of which agree that there should be somthing left for our privacy. if we do respect then the privacy of our relationship,then how would we feel when our partner openly talks evrything about us among his friends. as for me, id be very uncomfortable. wouldn't you be?
5 responses
• Canada
30 Sep 08
I think I would be ok with it. As long as the friend realizes that they are not always getting the full story and that there are always 3 sides to a story...his side, her side and the truth. I usually tell my friends quite a bit and they tell me the same. Most of the time it's when we are Mad at the other person and need to vent to someone. We all realize that most of the time we are hearing the bad stuff about the other and there is obviously good in the person other wise none of us will still be with our boyfriends. Sometimes we need an unbias opinion on a situation or sometimes we just need to vent. Keeping things bottled up inside and constantly having that feeling of weather you or him is in the wrong is very unsafe for the human body. It can lead to all sorts of health problems and inevidably lead to more problems in the relationship. It's also good to talk to friends as they aren't scared to say that you over reacted and you need to change the way you did something. Sometimes talking to them opens yours eyes a bit and makes you realize that the situation could have been handled differently. I wouldn't get too uncomfortable about him talking to his friends about your relationship. That might be the reason why you are still together?!?
• Canada
30 Sep 08
BTW, I'm not talking about YOU in particular in this, I'm talking about you as in people in general.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
hi there litunrgirl. i respect your opinion and i thank you for participating in this. although some of his friends are my friends too, now, and may one time or another had given him advices on our relationship, i still think that our relationship is our choice. it is us who share and nurture it. and for us communication and respect for each other has helped us stay bonded through years. when we talk, there isn't always a question for who was right or wrong. we always try to see how the other person would feel if we switched situations. we don't always agree on things but we definitely are willing to compromise. he and his friends are bonded for more than decades now (more than thrice we are into the relationship) and i don't mind him sharing about us and seek for advice generally but really i think it is very uncomfortable when i know that the friends know all, even the concerns which i have trusted him about. (you, see my partner is also my confidant.) have a good day sharing!
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Talking amongst his friends about everything is not at all acceptable! It's down right disrespectful. I would be very hurt if my husband did that. The privacy of a couples relationship is most important. How could one expect to trust and confide in the other knowing all that is said will be shared with outsiders?
• Philippines
4 Oct 08
good day redkathy. i happen to be so busy the other two days and i was hardly able to post any discussions at all. how have you been? as for our subject, i can't as much trust a person who can not respect the privacy of our relationship. more happy responses!
• India
1 Oct 08
It would certainly be discomforting if my partner talks about me to her friends. I would not be able to face her friend and always feel that they ae staring at me in a strange way. I can be quite discomforting.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
hi mercuryman3a. strange really when you're aware that they know everything about you. especially when it's the first time you meet any of the friends and you know that they already know more than they should.hmm, indeed discomforting. hope to hear more from you pals! happy posting!
• Philippines
30 Sep 08
I guess if i know what she's talking about if its too private well ill talk to her and tell her that not all that is happening with our relationship she can share it with her friends. We have to left some information just for ourselves or for just the two of us and in every relationship there should be some privacy. It is normal to share with friends if you are seeking for advice but not all right? And its really annoying for me and uncomfortable too. Because there are some friends who judge you without even knowing your side.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
hi markroderick. talking her to it is a good way of letting her know how you feel about it. and i am sure she will understand how you stand to it. have a good day!
• United States
30 Sep 08
Personally I feel like it depends on what talk about to their friends on how mad I'd actually be. If they bad mouthed me every chance they got, I'd be pretty ticked off and probably wouldn't trust them much anymore. However, if they just talked about small issues without really letting them in on anything major I doubt I'd have such a big issue with it.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
hi angel. badmouthed, that's more than him sharing all about us. like you, i wouldn't be happy about it. without trust and respect, then how far can the relationship last? he could share with his friends of course, but i suppose not everything. thanks for sharing. happy posting!