Trying to please others.

No, I tried this in the past ,and it doesn't work. I started building some type of resentment and it was making me very irritable.

I am constantly on my husband's case about this. He used to accuse me of being SELFISH until I explained to him that while he was busting his butt to please a bunch of ingrates, I was doing what I needed to do to ensure my own well being. This made him stop and think, and now he tries to please himself, before worrying about the rest of the world.

Truly happy? I don't think so. Because we honestly can't make everyone happy, someone's disappointment with the effort we make is bound to cause us dismay if we are really judging our worth on making others happy. I try to not get into that trap anymore. All is does is cause self-doubt and low self-esteem when we fail. I guess I just worry about pleasing God. And when I fail, which I often do, I have the assurance He forgives me. And He knows I'm going to fail, after all I'm human. : )

I think that you need a balance of pleasing others along with yourself. I was a total pleaser, didnt matter if I was miserable, (well it did kinda I was so grumpy) I would do things that I REALLY didnt want to do. I also put on the back burner things that I WANTED. I would do things that to me wasnt something that I would normally do to try to please. I decided about 2 years ago enough was enough. I was miserable and being so was actually making the ones that I really cared about miserable. Now that I have stopped I am much happier and although not everyone gets what they want from me, my family is happier and so is my husband BECAUSE Im happier. I have also doing something for me, I get out and do something I love, I play pool on a womens league and it is my couple of hours to be me, not just mom. Although Im still mom there too as my eldest daughter plays on our team. It is doing something for you that can change the way you think and feel. Doing something for you is a great way of feeling whole and not just doing things for everyone else. I hope to never go back to the person that always felt had to please others and forget who I am.

Hello pose. In most cases, so far as my personality is concerned, I try to please the others because I don't like to see anyone unhappy. So if something unpleasant happens, I would try to comfort the others who are not happy. But it is not always that easy to please them.

i used to worry about that, now i don't worry about. the only i try to please is my wife only..

Well yes, but what about when you stop trying to please others and please yourself instead and your conscience is playing the perfect spoilsport? This is a big big problem with me…long time back I had realised that the world just takes you for a ride each and everytime you try to be nice to people just for the sake of human decency. I tried stopping being nice and I enjoyed saying NO but then at the back of my mind, a small irritating nagging voice kept on prodding me till I felt that I would go mad. It has reduced a lot, I have been able to throttle it somewhat, but its there alright and it has a very strong mind of its own.

Do you think that anyone can be truly happy if they are always trying to please others? Why or why not? Honestly no I dont...Why? becaue when one is forever trying to please other ppl they usually end up neglecting themselves which is a big fat no no in my books..