I was ticked at my son! But, I love him so, I forgive him!

I havent experienced that but it's good that you forgave him. He cares for you that's why he didn;t tell so you won't be worried.

I can understand his thoughts of not telling you the change and worrying you even further. I domn't think it would be anymore of a problem than before if my children did the same. I did this with dad as far as my other siblings. I told them the date of surgery but never told them right away that it was done. I tol;d them at the time there was to be biopsies of the tumors removed etc. So I think they knew I would wait until the results of the biopsies. All told they were informed after the Dr appointment and the results of the biopsies withoput a word from them complaining etc. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~

well I think he was thinking of you and didn't want you to worry for nothing especially because he is in another state, so in this situation I think it was a good thing he did. Put your pride away, or what it is that makes you feel you should know (I am not faulting you I know I am a mother too) and think of it from his point of view, and how he was thinking of you, even though on the surface it looks like he was neglecting you, in his point of view he was not. At first I would have felt why did he hide that from me, and then I would sit down and think yes I see why he did he really is a good caring kid.

I understand that you want to know ahead of time but I can understand why he did it that way because I did the same exact thing too. I had the same surgery and did not tell my mother until after it was over so she would not worry. Your right though, your going to worry either way. I hope he is feeling better and I wish him a full and speedy recovery.

My daughters wouldn't do this, but I can see my son doing it.Here is something my son did, he moved, without telling us..Yep, the only reason we knew is my husband happen to stop by where my son and his roommate lived and they were cleaning the apartment after having everything moved out..If my husband didn't stop by that day, we would not have known that he moved and that he moved to a complete different city, 50 miles south.. Good that you forgive your son, I am sure he just didn't want you to worry and he is doing fine, correct?

My children have always told us about a surgery whether it was them or their children. The hernia surgery I wouldn't have worried about since it's an outpatient surgery. We went with my husband's brother and his wife when he had the surgery - in fact 3 hernias repaired that morning and he did fine. I've always told everyone when I was having surgery, too. But I have a brother whose wife had a cancer operation that we knew absolutely nothing about. He never even told my Mother who was in her late 80's at the time. He thought he would 'keep her from worrying'. Well, when they didn't ever come up to my Mother's, she worried more! So I called and said something to him, and he went right up there and told her and she called to tell us what had been going on for about 9 months. Now, he lives in the same town as my Mother! I was shocked! We always tell her. I think it's more important to let an older person know than to keep them in the dark. They worry much more that way.

Good on him for being brave and being able to do that on his own, but I would of been a little ticked off if he didn't tell me. I know he's a grown boy but still, even if I couldn't be there, I would of liked to have known.

I think I would react the same way as you did. I would be ticked since he didn't even tell me that the dates were changed. Mothers always want the feeling of 'caring' for their kids, and I think that would certainly be hurtful (not being able to take care of him) but I guess it quite made me feel proud, because the son wanted you not to feel the worry during the surgery, it's quite sensitive of him to do so. =)

First of all ,congratulations to you for you have a great and healthy son! Well ,if I were you ,I would first got worried on his his health,and then got angry ,and last return happy ,just as you write here.What I want to add here is that the son should not keep the whole affair a secret,when it was going on .Otherwise if something unexpectable took place ,the mother must got more worried.

I can't say much, we do that to our parents sometimes. If it is a small insignificant surgery we have delayed telling them until it was over. Mainly because we have some reletives that, when they know we are going through something, always comes to "visit" or to "Help out" but are there to just take things and takes advantage. Then they stir things up so bad that it stresses us out. I am sure that is not the reason with your son, but that is our situation. Perhaps he has seen you to be too much of a worrier. If that is the case he reasoned "If she worries she will make herself sick, so if I wait until it is over she will just be mad, which won't make her sick and I know she forgives me." To me that makes PERFECT sense. Of course that is just me.

hi louiseknittel I would probably have felt just like 'youdid. My son has never done that to me but if he had I would have been a bit upset. I dont like him to spare me bad news but just tell me outright. I would have also worried a bit but would know it would all come out alright.

Chances are, he didn't want you to worry or get over emotional about the whole thing. I wouldn't feel too bad about it. He WAS thinking of YOU. It was all in the best of love's intentions, I'm sure. Just send him kisses and best wishes. After he heals up....then spank him. (just kidding) Cheers; cdrxo

I think sometimes, they know we worry about them, even when they are doing well. They just don't want us to worry MORE, so they don't tell us things that we think they should. My kids have not done anything like that, but then again, they both live here so, I would know what was going on, anyway. They also know that if they weren't geographically as close as they are, that I would be where ever they lived as soon as I could pack a bag and get there, even AFTER the fact.

I am sure that i would be very upset if any of my children did this, at first, anyway. I think after I had time to think about it, I would understand his or her reasoning for it. He probably was not as concerned with this surgery as you were. Maybe he does not understand the risks associated with being under general anesthesia, maybe he just felt like he had to do it alone. I could never have any kind of surgery without telling my family. As a matter of fact, my Mother has always been there when I did have any kind of surgery. And my Dad has always been just a call away. Normally sitting with my kids while I was not there. Your son thought he was protecting you from worry, I am sure he meant no harm.

I'd be pretty ticked. I'm not the sort of parent who overreacts to stuff, so I don't see why my kids would have a reason for doing something like that.

I am not in that age that i will think of this. But in one way if we think then we should understand that your son get great confident to face this world and you should be proud and you are so lucky that you have such great son who do not want to give or see in trouble.

I would probably be mad also but understand that he didn't want me to worry so i would get over it and be grateful that all is well.