Another Ending Of An Era..
By tessah
@tessah (6617)
United States
October 1, 2008 6:57pm CST
another door closes.. and im lookin for that frigen window some place to open up as the old sayin goes. i lost and sacrificed so much for this person, who now needs to become inconsequential to my existance, even a little bit of my self respect. but i needed to salvage some of my esteem and self worth.. and the ties have been severed and burned to the ground. funny.. the cold that settled into my veins replacing the scorch of heat across my back.. isnt causing the ache i was expecting. maybe im closer to indifference than i thought..? either way.. its over, and another huge chapter of my life... ends. im left wondering if it all was just a waste of time.
how often have you been forced to eradicate for yer own survivals? how quickly have you recovered.. or did it even phase you?
3 people like this
12 responses
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
2 Oct 08
If someone needs to be thrown out of my life then it is done and I never look back, I may feel sad for a day or two but it soon passes as I just bury it all somewhere. I am very indifferent to things, have been for years.
I have had to do it a couple of times in my life, not many but a couple.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
4 Oct 08
I have not had to do it for a while now, but you know, I just do not think that people will ever stop being a**holes seems like second nature to so many.
@dreamhealer (812)
•
2 Oct 08
Strange how we trip in to things sometimes... Saw your heading, among the top discussions, and assumed it was about the economic crisis. But the way you had written your statement, intrigued me. I'm in between relationships at the mo, and certainly feel fairly indifferent at getting into another one. They bring good and bad basically. Suppose, when I get fed up with being on an even keel, will want to spice life up again, so will be firing on all cylinders, looking for another female of the species.
Like my freedom, but also like the closeness and love of having a partner too. Life is so like that - always pros and cons...
@ellie333 (21016)
•
2 Oct 08
Hi Tessa, Once again you seem to have to be like a pheonix that rises from the ashes and flies up high and away from all the bu*lshit life dishes out at times and believe me you will soar so high. Sometimes in life our wings are clipped or caught in a net but the struggling to break free makes us stronger yeah. Put this episode behind you somehow and know that the sacrifices you made along the way you will reap rewards for in the future. Huggles. Ellie :D
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Oct 08
tessah I guess maybe I am atthat point now, we are pulling
up stakes here in super expensive Orange Co.and moving in a week or so to Antioch Ca. the ties will be broken, and the only thing I will miss are my best and dearest friends. I will not miss'
this lousy super exp;ensive old apartment nor the noisy cars that have to park outside my bedroom window, nor the broken tiles that I managed to keep from tripping over as I walk to the front gate here.I just want to forget we ever lived in this complex if its possible.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Hey tess, doors close all the time. I wish sometimes that
I was able to close some myself and lock them and throw
away the frigen key. But, in one particular case it is
someone that I can't do that to because she gave me life.
So as much pain as she causes sometimes there isn't much
I can do but try to keep breathing. You still have your
self esteen and self worth and much much more. You have
those that depend on you every day, that count on you to
be there for them no matter what. So you still have so
much more to give and to be given and you will get so
much more than you have lost, believe me dear Tess, I
know that you will.
1 person likes this
@tessah (6617)
• United States
2 Oct 08
hard when its a family member. specially a parent. theyre sposed to love you.. theyre not sposed to get their trip off causing you pain. been there, done it.. and i chose to lock the door. whether he gamme life or not.. blood or not.. life is way too short to continually be hurt, and keep the one hurting you in yer life, so i cut those ties as well. took a very long time to reach that point.. but when i finally saw what his behavior was doing to my little girl, and my husband.. who had to sit back helpless and watch me be hurt over and over.. the action was easy.
1 person likes this
@kaguvkov (1318)
• Davao, Philippines
2 Oct 08
Your words are seems so poetic and full of sorrow. I'm sorry to know what your emotions but as a person with full of determination life must move on and something must be in a place that still you haven't been yet. Explore life, enjoy while you have it.
@rsa101 (40976)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Well I am glad that you are not depressed or anything like that when it ended. I guess your acceptance is your strength right now. I think you should be proud of that. Well every endings in our life's journey has always a message or a lesson to learn and that is the what it means for every ending that we encounter along the way. Learn from this experience, then move on stronger than you were before.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
2 Oct 08
it alway phases you when some one hurt you but you have to stop focusing on this person you are giving him to much of your energy and power if it,s burned down then you need to clear away the debris and move on focus on something else that makes you feel good.keep focuing on your ex will not help you it,s done.it,s not funny because you are still hurting inside.don,t give anyone this kind of power over you.
1 person likes this
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
2 Oct 08
My "door" has been opened and closed so many times the hinges are starting to disintegrate. I have to admit that in the past I didn't always handle it so well but age has taught me a lot. No matter how many times or how hard that door gets closed I have the power to open it again.
You sound as though you have a pretty good handle on the situation but as with every type of major life changing situation you'll still go thru all the steps of grieving. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Don't ignore them, just see them for what they are and get past each one of them in their turn. You have a great survival instinct and you WILL get past them and be stronger for it.
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
3 Oct 08
It's never a waste of time if you've learned something along the way.
I've cut people from my life over the years. Some more easily than others, that's for sure. Each situation was different, but in general, I think each "cut" took less time to heal from. Either it's because I've grown from the experience, or because my heart has hardened a little more each time. I tend to side with the heart hardening more. :( But that's me.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
2 Oct 08
Hi tessah,
I suppose its the lessons we have to learn, it does not matter how old or young you are, it gets us now and again, so we just have to pick our selves up and start again with head held high because you are important person and only that matters so yes another door will open wide for you. Its life. Take care and Hugs.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
2 Oct 08
When one door closes, God opens up ten others. Never worry about a closed door. just think that the wares behind that door were worthless and not meant for you. You are ordained for better things in life. Think positively and you will find that things will improve and change for the better. They say never cry over spilt milk as you can do nothing about it. Just wipe it off and get some fresh milk and heat it.
1 person likes this
