Public display of affection
By meticulo
@meticulo (1286)
United States
October 2, 2008 1:21am CST
I was riding in a jeepney with my two daughters aged 9 and 11 years old yesterday when I noticed two pairs of lovers kissing & hugging in front of us. One pair was kind of a newly weds because I saw they have wedding rings and they were still young at age. The other pair was a little weird, the guy was somewhat younger than the lady whom I thought was at late 40's. I didn't mean to noticed them. And I wouldn't gave a damn because it's their life and I was out of it already. My concerned was they were doing it in front of my children. I didn't know if it came to their mind that what if their children were in the shoes of my children. I didn't gave some malicious comments about them to my children. But I know that with their age they were so curious about it. I know that we are in a modern era now. But what happen to our culture? Do we have to forget it just because our country has been influenced much by more modernized and civilized country? Are you in favor of public display of affection? I was wondering if they were just making a show because they can have their time doing it in their own homes or some private places.
4 people like this
14 responses
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
For me it has become a common site for me when I ride this jeepneys. I agree with you that sometimes I feel a little bit awkward seeing is PDA happening but its a common thing that happens nowadays. Well for your children to see well hugging and kissing is already very open nowadays I hope you children would not take malice seeing them. What happened to out culture? I guess it has evolved already and the old ways are slowly fading away in out time.
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Well for me if your children won't ask about it then maybe you can just let it go. But if you noticed that they would talk about it in private or is troubled because of that then you may try to explain to them what just happened. Sometimes children do act maturely already than we were before because our culture has so much restricted us from those things that is why we really find today's behavior a little off our beliefs.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Do you think there's a need for me to explain or ask my children about what they have seen? I thought that eventhough they weren't talking they have some questions in their minds or probably wanted to discuss about it. I know that they are somewhat aware of that thing. But like what you said I hope they don't take that maliciously. Perhaps our culture has evolved dramatically. Oh so I guess we just have to take it as it is though it is against our boundaries.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
2 Oct 08
Why not, In India we are also conservative but now with so much kissing and other kind of stuff diplayed in visual media like cable Tv or movies, I feel we should be more open and let the kids ask questions about it and answer them as honestly as possible. I do stress on being modest about public display of affection but then you can not control everything that goes on in the world so most important thing is to keep the communication open between yourself and the kids.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
3 Oct 08
You have a point there. But that is why there is a parental guidance flashed or broadcast before a certain TV show begins so that we can guide our children. It is important also to accompany them when you watch a movie or when they open the internet or tv sets so that we will be able to monitor what they are watching and probably doing. I understand that they will eventually have their own boyfriends in the future. And I wouldn't tolerate them to display their affection in public since it is very annoying to some people. There's really a certain time to learn about these things. But now is just too premature. Thanks for replying mansha!
1 person likes this
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I am a fan of simple affection in public but not smooching for a long time.
A simple peck on the cheek or forehead, holding hands a short hug is great for children to understand this is appropriate affection.
But when it gets steamy I prefer them to not see it.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Yeah that is the perfect word! They really are smooching for the whole duration of the ride. 1 hour ride is long enough for us to witness such show. I can't stare directly in their eyes. I am too embarrass more than they are. Perhaps they are already used to it. That it seems like its a normal thing to do.
@rainmark (4302)
•
2 Oct 08
This situation doesn't surprised me anymore coz i seen lots of couples practising PDA. Honestly, i never experienced that PDA, when my husband going to kiss me in public i always stopped him and told him it's public places and im not to used that public display of affection, as much as i can i wanted to be still a real Filipina. It looks embarrassing for me to do that specially in Philippines.
And im not in favor of it, specially when there's a kids watching coz it gives them a bad idea and thinking about it. It's a bad example for them. Just keep away your kids with that kind of scences. Cheers x
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Yes I agree with you. Both you and your partner must be mature enough to know the limitations. If the other can not stop the urge(is this the right word?)of doing that then the wife or the girlfriend must remind the guy since for all we know guys are much more aggressive than us.(any reaction from guys?.lol) Really, even if influences from other country exist in the Phillipines now, there are still matters that Filipinos want to preserve and that is being conservative.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
I was not infavor of public display of affection. I think there is a proper place to show how much you care for each other and what are the places to act appropriately. When you are in public you are expected to respect other people as well since it is very uncomfortable sight for other people to see you and your partner displaying your affection for each other in public. I guess some people dont have shame anymore than even other people are disgusted at what they are doing they dont even care at all.
@WildWetJoyce (215)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
That's just sad. It annoys me as well to see other people displaying such "modern" acts in front of kids. I mean, if they can avoid doing that in public then why not? Being sweet and romantic is a trait that's pretty normal in Filipinos, I like to be romantic myself. But there must be limits to everything. If others don't care to show off in public, they should at least care about parental guidance stuff; heck! movies even have regulations! I juts hope couples, even modern ones, can still be sensible and a little civilized about this matter.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I agree with you Joyce! I dont care about them and what they are doing. I don't have the right to stop them either. But they must be aware of other people in their surroundings if it is just right to do it in public places like jeepneys. If it is in a bar or movie theather I wouldn't dare to comment because they have parental guidance that is implented. Maybe just some sort of self respect is needed. Thanks for replying!
@WildWetJoyce (215)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Yes! My sentiments exactly! I never dare venture comments as well when I see on but my eyes can tell them all I wanna say LOL! Hey! Thanks for the BR!
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Up front: I understand that the culture is very different in the Philipines...but since there's nothing really profane or even really inappropriate about hugging and kissing between two loving people...I really don't see a problem with it.
It'd be different if they were more intimate than that, but since it's not...I really can't agree that there's anything wrong with that.
I know, I know..I'm an American...and we're considered a bit, um, of party animals across the rest of the world. But I've seen kids who were raised that you don't kiss or hug in public, and kids raised without the knowledge of kissing and hugging here...and they tend to grow up shy and sometimes dysfunctional.
I mean little kids hug eachother all the time. I know alot of little toddlers who like to kiss their parents on their foreheads and cheeks all the time...
And couples kissing, I think, is just what they'll be doing when they grow up...and it's not like you're showing them something perverse or anything!
I don't know. Again, I'm an American and there's that cultural disconnect, but that's my two cents.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
3 Oct 08
I agree with you. It is not condemning the act of these couples but they should be discreet especially in front of children. They are giving the kids more reason to be curious about it.
@lanlan011 (701)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Im okay with holding hand and things like that. It just depends on how far they went. Kissing is going to far. A little smooch on the cheek is ok. But there are somethings that should be done in privacy. There are kids around and they should be more considerable of others. I know kids are going to see it sometime in life but some things need to be kept PG.
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I don't mind seeing a quick hug or kiss but no touchy/feely action going on. There is a time and a place for everything and I don't think doing it in public is one of them.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
3 Oct 08
In a public place diplay of love so openly is merely a dirty offence.Specially in Asin socity as a whole such openness of love does not allow. It is the bad influence of western culture.It is not modernism. In every action there should have gracefulness. Love is heavenly affair.But it becomes dirty, when it lost it's beauty.I agree with you that the two pairs can do their love in a private place or or in their home. Such kind of scene embarrassed us before our children. It also affects our children's mind.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I think that publuc displays of affection are okay in moderation. A couple holding hands, or walking arm-in-arm, even a quick kiss or hug. I do bot agree with couples making out in public though. I think those things should be saved for private moments behind closed doors.
@lynnbear (46)
• United States
2 Oct 08
It is kind of sad how some people don't have any common sense or respect in regards to displaying their affection to each other in public, most of all in front of children. But in respect, it is their life and can't really say much about it. But they should consider what the people will think.
