October 4, 2008 1:52pm CST
Thanks for the responses from my previous discussion. Now, I thought of bringing my son with me and let my daughters stay with their mom for a year or so. Do you think it's all right to live this kind of situation? What would be the consequences to my family? Is it the best decision? Thanks for taking time...
• United States
24 Oct 08
I'm not sure that is the best way to deal with the situation. Although he seems to have trouble at school, he needs to learn to deal with it. It might be prudent to find out the real reasons as to why he is called what he is called. You moving him away from the situation may give him the wrong signal. Depending on how he would feel about moving away with you, he might feel punished for telling his family about his problem and for confiding. Kids not necessarily take moves easily as they lose a lot of friends and have to start over in a strange environment, in your case even a different country away from his mom, sisters and other relatives. Alternatively, he might be okay with the move because he gets away from the problem but might get the impression that running away is the best method to deal with a problem. Also, if you take your son with you and leave your daughters with your mom, he will not only lose out on mom's love at an age where kids still need their mother very much, but your girls may perceive it as preferential treatment of him by you. They, too, obviously miss you very much. Try to get more male relatives involved in his life to do 'male' things with him. Encourage him to befriend more girls and if necessary to pretend he likes a particular one. If he talks about liking one of the girls with his friends, the gay rumor is quickly squashed. Kids that age can be cruel but they also quickly move on to another victim, if the first pick doesn't respond in a 'victim' manner. I realize this reply is late. You probably already made a decision or things got worked out already somehow. But hey, one never knows;)
25 Oct 08
I appreciate the efforts you put figuring out how you can help me. Thanks a lot. You did a great deal with the matter. You're not late. Am still in the process of discerning. The final decision will still be next year. Your advice is well taken. More power.
5 Oct 08
There are pros and cons to it, for he might be not as close to his mom like b4.. Plus, he will lose some motherly love as a result of being away from her for too long.. ALso, it's also not a good idea to seperate siblings, because by time they see each other again, they won't be as close and they will start to treat each other as frenz instead..