What to do if the parent of your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't approve of you

Philippines
October 4, 2008 8:15pm CST
What will you do if the parent of your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't approve of you ? Do you think it's just a matter of time for them to accept you or it won't change at all ? need some suggestions :)
5 responses
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
That's my dilemma right now.I have kids and had my first marriage annulled so I am single now but I have a boyfriend.So far he is the only one who didn't informed his parents that I have kids.So aside from the 4 years age gap.I am 4 years older than him.I asked him what if his parents find out that I was once married and has kids...he told me not to worry about it and he will just be ready to answer it if the situation already asks for it.sigh.
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
thats good to know that he can fight for you ... :)
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
I don't think so jappley.If he is really serious about me he already informed his parents about me.I just felt bad bec. now that we are on for 2 years already he never told his parents about my real status though his parents know that we are like a married couple already.I just don't know why he can't tell his parents.
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
give it sometime, im sure that he is just waiting for the rigt time to tell his parents about your situation. You can feel if he really loves you. And only you can tell that.
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
I never experienced this before, nobody really disapproved of me for their son in the past. I hope you're not having this sad experience though. It will be painful I'm sure. But if ever you are, the only thing you can do is be yourself and prove to them that you love their daughter not maybe as much as they love her but enough to make her happy. But well, I'm separated right now, annullment papers still in the process, I dare not go into a serious relationship with a man because I know the parents will disapprove of me and I understand them. Parents only want the best for their kids. See ya around!
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
i know that parents only want the best for their children. but her father hasn't meet me yet, and he doesn't want to. Her father based everything in theory. Thats whats hurting me.
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
Gosh I'm sorry! So you're really experiencing it right now! Now that's really unfair for you. He must give you a chance to prove your worth. If he clams up just like that then there will be no way for you to make him approve of you. You and your girlfriend must work out on something for her dad to be open-minded. Now, how specifically, is the problem... sigh...
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
well, he wants anybody except me... she tried breaking up with me 3 times already, but i never agreed. BUt, now i can see that she is fighting for our relationship and that makes me really happy. just like now, she is out on a date with someone coz her dad asks her to do so. It sucks right ? I just dont wanna think about anymore and keeping my calm about everything. Hoping that her love for me is true. And not let one date ruin our relationship.
• United States
5 Oct 08
I actually dealt with this personally, so I know how it feels. My husband and I have been dating since my sophomore year of high school, and though his parents made efforts to include me in things, over time it was clear that they didn't like me. By my senior year of high school, they were constantly accusing me of cheating on him (absolutely NOT true). The accusations didn't stop after we were married and had a baby. At first I held my tongue, and I was respectful and polite and tried my best to show them that I was a good person. But eventually the accusations proved too much, and I put my foot down and said that if they could not stop saying these terrible things about me, I would not permit them to be around my daughter. That actually improved things dramatically. We get along fine now, and while they're still not my favorite people in the world, we love each other if for no other reason than the love we have for the same people. My advice would be to just go on as you have been, not badmouthing them, especially to your significant other, and being as respectful as possible when you're in their company. However, if they are being downright disrespectful to you, you have every right to stand up to them. If it comes to that, speak with your significant other before hand; you'll need their support, or at least understanding. Make sure they know that you would never get in the way of their relationship with their parents, but the way you're being treated needs to be addressed. If your significant other really loves you, than he/she will have no problem with you talking with his/her parents. If they do have a problem with it, especially if you ARE being mistreated by them, it's best for you to move on anyway. Good luck!
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
Thank you for giving me the encouragement, We are still together now and I can see that she is slowly fighting for me. I told her taht we shouldn't argue about her parents anymore coz the last decision will come from her. She told me that we need to pray that someday her dad will accept me. I'm happy that she is this way now, not like before.
• United States
5 Oct 08
The relationship you have with your significant other's parents can make or break your relationship. You just have to keep showing respect for parents and respect for their son/daughter, and in time you may grow on them. If they still don't like you after all of your attempts, just go on with your relationship, perhaps the person you are with won't let that be a big factor in staying with you, and it shouldn't be the biggest one at least. If two people love each other no one on earth should sway them to separate, even if parents attempt to. Happy mylotting, and have a great day or night!
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
thanks for the advice. She tried breaking up with me for 3 times now but i never did let go. I told her that as long as she is happy with me i won't let go of her. But she is too obedient. Her dad makes her date other guys. And that hurts me a lot
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
27 Oct 08
nothing really but to accept it. maybe some day they will see that i love their son too much and they will change their mind and accept me. it never happened to me and i am glad that it never happened to me