I HATE YOU!!!!! Do you ever say this when you and your partner fight?
By eve301345
@eve301345 (658)
Philippines
October 5, 2008 5:57pm CST
Hi Myloters,
Every so often I saw couples fighting and during the fight they say I HATE YOU but later on it seems like its gone and both of theme cant remember it anymore.
When my partner and I have argument I make sure I will never say this because if ever he told me that it would never leave my mind and I am afraid that he might do the same so when we have argument I just cry but I never say I hate you.
How about you do you say I hate you when you and your partner have argument? If you do how does it feel after the fight, do you feel like its normal or do you feel like you just decrease the trust between you and your partner?
Thanks for your time Myloters,
Happy Myloting
4 people like this
42 responses
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 08
Yeah. That's quite embarrassing.
When we were fighting with our partner, we tend to say something that we don't want t say. We tend to become too emotional to become rational, and we tend to become so much annoying and irritating.
When we were fighting, sometimes the word just not coming up right. We said something that might hurt our partner, and that was not going to be painful for the one that we love but also for us.
I think I have to be able to control myself more. Saying "I hate you" was really a horrible experience. I couldn't imagine how it would affect someone's feeling, hearing that from someone that they care so much
1 person likes this
@eve301345 (658)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
Your right and if ever I hear that from someone I love I don't think I can sleep at night without thinking and questioning myself about it. Its really horrible word and I don't know why other people can say that just because they are mad.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
6 Oct 08
I can't even imagine tell that to my husband while fighting. Now if he annoys me then does something that makes me feel insecure (like dropping 5 lbs over night) then I will jokingly tell him that I hate him. I would be so hurt if he told me he hated me when we fought, that is even worse than being called a b*tch! I don't think I would want to be married to him anymore.
1 person likes this
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
5 Oct 08
In all our 12 years together, I don't think I ever said that phrase. I'm very careful about saying it because I don't want to say something I'd really regret later on in life. We fought almost everyday, I guess we outgrew it somehow. We're better than never now. 
@eve301345 (658)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
Thanks Jammyt,
Your right and I reckon saying I hate you to your love one may not only make you regret but make your life miserable as well.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
6 Oct 08
[i]Hi eve,
I've never used such word when we are fighting with my husband! We have a regular fights, childish most of the time but it will never last thought..after a few seconds, we are friends again! LOL! but, we have never uttered any painful words! I don't like to! I used to talk a lot when we are arguing and he is the man with less words but I make sure I am not saying a lot of bad words! LOL! [/i]
@eve301345 (658)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
Hi checapricorn,
My partner and I never say that to each other yet and I am glad you and your partner have not say that as well.
He says some harmful word to me because when we fight my mouth is shut I never talk and he dont like it because hes idea of solving problem is talking and I agree with him but just not my nature. I think the harmful word that he says to me was "I dont feel you are still my Best friend".
Anyway, good luck to our own relationship
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Well, like you.. I will just cry when I am upset with my hubby. But he knows that I'm upset because I will bang the door and I won't talk. I always do the silent treatment. 
I did not say I hate you yet... I hope I can't say that when I am very much upset. Sometimes, our partner is not thinking what they are saying. I wish they should think first before they would say words that are harsh.
I did not say I hate you yet... I hope I can't say that when I am very much upset. Sometimes, our partner is not thinking what they are saying. I wish they should think first before they would say words that are harsh.@eve301345 (658)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
Your right they should think the words they going to say first but I can understand my partner when he says some harmful word. I just cry and cry and sometimes I hide when I cry because he keep asking me what can he do to make me feel better and when we are in fight situation I just want to cry.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
8 Oct 08
well, before I just cry.. but now?? I will raise my voice when I am upset of what he said and throw things and bang the door, and that makes him feel that I am upset and he shut up. They need to realize also to think first before they say something. And I know this had made my hubby realize.
@mypesodollar (54)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
I never say I hate you to my girlfriend but she always say that words to me when there is a time that I engage another relationship with another girl. I just want to share my feeling to some girl that looking for...
1 person likes this
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
6 Oct 08
I have never said that when my partner and I argue. I think it's rather silly to do that. I just don't understand why you'd do that in the first place. I think saying I hate you when you're arguing just makes the entire arguement worse and will make your partner wonder and worry about what is really going through your mind and wonder if you're really committed to the relationship.
@eve301345 (658)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
I agree with you and I think the worst thing is when you say that your partner become aware of whats happening in your relationship and the love start to fade. The after that worst thing is break up.
@applefreak (3130)
• Singapore
7 Oct 08
i have never said these words to my partner. even during the rare times that we quarreled, i've never said things i don't mean. in fact, we rarely quarrel because we don't want to say things just to hurt each other. we usually just keep quiet until we've cooled down then talk things over. come to think about it, i've never said these words to anyone before. hate is such a strong emotion that i fear i'm incapable of feeling. cheers ;p
@fit4lifein07 (719)
• United States
7 Oct 08
Yes, even though I don't mean it when I'm upset just like anyone I think we tend to say things we don't mean out of anger and hurt
@Mare73 (1335)
• United States
6 Oct 08
In my opinion, if it comes to a person having to say those words to another, then they shouldn't be together. Hate is a very strong and powerful word.
When my husband and I disagree - we'll leave the topic alone for a bit, come back later on and listen to each other with an open mind - then we agree to disagree.
@KePasa1982 (49)
• Ireland
6 Oct 08
Evry argument is needed until one realises that it is not needed!
Arguments are not to be resolved by proving your point, but by finding the sorse of the anger. If you trie to look for the sorse of it you will be surprised to find noyhing but empty space, that some call pace!
Ofcorse, you wont find the sorce outside you, that is the trick!
Find out where to look and no arguments will ever happen.
Regards
Sandis
@freefogging (356)
• United States
7 Oct 08
Never, never, never....If you hate your partner, whether in a fight or not, then why are you together? My husband and I have nevr said that to each other, but what we have said is I don't like what your doing or saying right now,but I love you always.
@DaddyOfTheRose (2934)
• United States
8 Oct 08
No. I don't think people should say hateful things.
Anger is an emotion and a motivation to hash something out. It does not, in the end, justify itself. Nor does it justify speaking hatefully to one which we profess to love. If one does love another person, then that love should inspire them.. even in a heated debate.. to understand that certain manners of speaking should be considered off limits. If one cannot say their side of an argument politely, they should abstain from saying anything at all.
@thinksf (152)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I've said it to my partner in times of anger, and she to me, but I really regret ever saying it. Life is too short.
@freemn (138)
• China
7 Oct 08
well,first, this must be a sentence belong to the girls. We gentlemen are not going to say that.
but,actually, I will have to say I love this sentence. Maybe you can not believe it now.
When I and my girl have argument. she usually send me that message "I hate you" sometime after the argument. But for me it is a signal that she want to become reconciled with me. I will apologize and please her. Then we will be reconciled and happy together.
I think that's the reason I feel like that sentence. do you think it is strange? however I think it is better than say nothing.
@huddoggzntheehouse (66)
• United States
7 Oct 08
No I don't I - I made a promis not to- So Hate me if you wwill- I losst all that I caanm loose wwhy worry about you- Thank you-- I Love You---
@huddoggzntheehouse (66)
• United States
7 Oct 08
I don't because I don't hate her- I Love her withe all my heart, body and soul, I made a peomis wwwe wolw nenr doto bed mad- I miss hhher-
@savypat (20216)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Things said in anger can come back to bite you so it's best if you cn keep control of your mouth no matter how mad you get. When I get really mad I can't think of anything to say which is a good thing because afterwards I can always get it out of my system by talking only to myself.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
I never say i hate him when we argue, i think the word is just too strong for him to take. He will feel bad about it and i wouldnt even feel good if i say that. When we are arguing as much as possible i try to lower my voice to avoid a heated argument. And if i cant anymore take it i just cry and leave the room. He usually say sorry everytime he see me cry and i do the same way too when i feel i hurt his feeling as well. But we never come to a point where we call names or say words that would badly hurt each others feeling.
@rocklovinggirl (3)
• United States
6 Oct 08
My husband and I have actually never said those words to each other and I feel gratfeful it has never slipped out of my mouth-I would feel so bad and my husband would probably cry.
