do u have a tendency of self-torture?

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i am not sure wether every one has this tendency. but i really do. Especially when i was down. blue emotion blooded me so deeply, i can't help myself out. then i will go out and buy lots things which doctors prohibit me to eat. and shutted myself ,sitting there, eating without knowing which food was put into my mouth. even i am too full to eat anything,i still keep on eating. besides that, when i felt my fault to lost competition or made a lost. i will walk outside and standing in a big rain without anything covered my head in order to get a serious cold. is this mind normal? i mean it seems i could only back through these extreme pains acitons. do u have some action like me? or what will u do when u are blue not way to out?