job and age and reading and life?

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my real age is mature, and my ideas on things are also mature. but my heart is very young. when i think of m real age. i am a little bit upset. i have never done any psychological test about age, for i really know that i am premature in othrs' eyes. having experienced too many surfferings in my life. i know rules of our society and become a pessimist. but i can not force mself to behave following these rules, and still try to be a pure person in the complicated world i truly admire o could tolerate anything bad and keep a happy mind to the worldthose elders who is. they are still curious and expect something new i the future, which can be defined as young. i seldom do such test. it always tell me that i am older than i seem to be. i am just in my twenties but someone think me i have over thirty from my voice through the telephone. i am gonna to get a job this year. that means my life will enter into a new stage. and i hope i can learn more than in school. i know i will try my best to learn more and make me more mature. sometimes in m space time i did those online tests. however i am not serious about the results which the tests analysed. i just do them for fun. although i am in my twenties. but it seems i am too immature and childlish. i hope through the experiences both in life and work. i will become more independent.