No idea what to do...
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
United States
October 9, 2008 12:44am CST
I go and visit a cousin of mine in prison on a semi regular basis and never had a problem with it before now. There is a 19 year old in there that has a crush on me, no big deal i don't have to act on it or anything. However, he is wanting to introduce himself to me the next time i go for a visit and i have no idea how to politely say i am not interested. I sort of feel bad about not giving him a chance but i know the general reason he is in there, because everyone in that prison is in for the same charge. But thats not the only thing against him, he is seven years younger than me and also his name. I hate to judge a person by his name, but of all the people i have known with this name have been jerks. I think its kind of sweet he is willing to get in trouble to introduce himself to me, i have never had someone do anything like that for me. But it also makes me uncomfortable. I am not a rude person, and i know vicariously how lonely it can be in prison. I know that the only person in his family that is willing to have anything to do with him is his father, so i know he has to be lonely. I actually thought about writing him, but i don't want to give him the wrong impression, and i am so not a very good snail mail correspondent. Email i can do but actually writing a letter not so much. What would you do? Would you talk to him, write him? Or tell him you are not interested and how would you do it??
2 people like this
3 responses
@Shandy14 (71)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Hello...
My advice would be to take the high road...Do not encourage him..Tell him thanks, but no thanks. If he is lonely...tell him to talk to a counselor or a priest...You do not need to get involved...Feel sorry for starving children or lonely elderly people...And trust in your instincts!
Best Wishes~
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
9 Oct 08
i would be afraid of leading him on.. you have to figure any little nice thing you do will seem 10x more nice in there since they lack interaction with normal public.. the most innocent of letters may still seem too much.. would you give him the time of day without him in jail? dont write him if its only because he is lonely if you wouldnt have anything to do with him when he gets out.. that would be cruel..
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Thats just it...if he wasn't in prison..i don't know if i would give him the time of day. I mean right now all i know is brief glances of what he looks like, his name, age, and generally what he is in for. He is not bad looking and the age thing doesn't bother me much(hello there is nine years difference in my mom and dad, and 20 years difference in my mom and father). So basically its his name and what he is in for thats bothering me.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
9 Oct 08
well if the problem was only his name i would say go for it but i always try to figure i may be wrong one day on the names thing and never am so you would probably still screw yourself
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
9 Oct 08
Yeah but i would feel bad if he is really a great person, got thrown in jail on a misunderstanding, blah blah blah. I am a firm believer in you never know till you try, but can't help but wonder if its worth the risk??
1 person likes this
@Bethany1202 (3431)
• United States
9 Oct 08
It might sound cheesy, but I think honesty is the best policy. Tell him you are not interested, and let him know all your reasons... But, if you are interested in becoming friends, make that clear also and tell him you'd love to correspond with him as FRIENDS so he has more company. Whatever you feel comfortable with, but make sure he knows you're not interested in the same way that he is. Of course, do it politely, but do it soon so he doesn't keep hitting on you and everything is put out there. It's really the best way.
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
9 Oct 08
He has hit on my personally yet, because by all technicalities he can't. Its against the rules for one inmate to talk with another inmates visitors. But him wanting to..i don't know if he is crazy or sweet.
2 people like this
