Would you be upset

United States
October 11, 2008 1:15pm CST
if you weren't the first person your husband went to when he was making a decision? Does your husband ever talk to someone else, like a boss, co worker, or even his parents before telling you of his decision?
10 responses
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I would be extremely upset. I've been getting a little upset that my husband has to stop to see his parents on the way home from work more than one day a week. It seems stupid i guess but we wait all day to see him and he has to see them first. i guess it hurts a little bit because I feel like the first person he should want to see when he gets off work is us. I don't know if he goes to them to make decisions. if he does he doesn't tell me. He sometimes forgets to mention he stopped there and any conversations he had there. It hurts but I can't seem to get through to him about it.
• United States
11 Oct 08
You so get me! LOL Well this isn't exactly about his parents... but he and I have had our fair share of fights over them too. He works far too many hours to be having to visit them often, but his parents are constantly finding ways of getting him to go over there for something. They don't understand that his time with his family is precious, and he needs to be here for us. He won't say anything to them either.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
17 Oct 08
OMG, its like you are me talking! His parents are the same way! And what makes it worse is his able bodied 21 year old brother still lives at home. but instead of making him help they call my husband away from his family.
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
11 Oct 08
If he does that, I would get upset. But if he will explains to me why he did that and he got enough reason then I may understand. Luckily, he have not done that yet to me so far. I guess me and my husband are very attach to each other. He may tell something to me and ask for an opinion but I never expected him to follow everything what I tell him. I knew he has his own point of view or decisions. It is fine already for me bout him hearing what's my opinion.
• United States
11 Oct 08
What if the decision affects you? Don't you think it would be unfair if he spoke to someone else about a decision that affected you and your children before he spoke to you?
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
12 Oct 08
It will be upsetting of course. I always tell him that if something bothering him that I am involving in, I would rather him to say it to me straight than knowing it from others. He is a private person when it comes to our marriage life though. For him, whatever happens or problem we have we should solve it and wont let other people be involve because it is our problem, our life and we will solve it. I am hoping that it wont happen that he rather talks to others before
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
20 Oct 08
I would be quite upset about it. Thankfully that does not happen to me. I do get annoyed once in a while because he wants to mull things over all by himself before talking to me about it, but when it is time to finally talk to someone it is me he wants to talk with.
@fubler (4)
• Bermuda
20 Oct 08
yes, it is upsetting at times because i have his best interest at heart,
@camomom (7535)
• United States
11 Oct 08
Whether I'd be upset or not would depend on what it was about. If it had to do with us, our family, our relationship, our finances, or something else that affects a major part of life, it probably would upset me. But, it really depends on the situation and who it was that he went to.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
11 Oct 08
It would depend, first on the decision he was making and second if it was a final decision, whether I would be mad or not. I know that before he made any final decisions that would affect "us" he would talk with me. If he didn't that would make me mad. He is aware of that and feels the same. On the other hand, I would not be mad if it was something I would have not insight to help him and he sought a more experienced person. So long as I'm informed I'm OK with it. I usually agree with him anyway, we think a lot alike.
@ersmommy1 (12596)
• United States
11 Oct 08
My husband has done this. It usually concerns a big purchase. But it is often a gift for me. So it is hard to be angry. When he loans out money, then I get upset. Especially if he didn't let me know.
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
11 Oct 08
there are times that i get intimidated by him doing that so what i did is i did the same thing to him. i make plans on my own without his approval. somehow he understood me and he changed.
@chason (22)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I'm not a woman but if I was I would think it would bother me at some level. However it would depend on my relationship with the person and also what the discussion was. If it was a subject which I was not expert on then I wouldn't mind it so much.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
11 Oct 08
My husband does this several times and I don't think much about it. He has actually made a purchase without consulting me that was a real estate purchase. He knows that I support his decisions and so I don't really care that he does it. However, I would like for him to tell me about it before he actually does something.