Have you ever moved far away from your home?
By thinksf
@thinksf (152)
United States
October 11, 2008 4:32pm CST
Hi everyone, I have a question for you all. I am located in Florida and am considering a cross country move to the San Francisco Bay area. I am worried about being lonely and not having any friends or social life, and I worry about leaving my girlfriend, whom I'm very close with.
Has anyone ever packed up and moved cross country or far away from their home and the people they knew and loved? My dream has always been to live in the SF Bay area, and now a job opportunity has opened up for me there, and I am tempted to take it. My girlfriend would join me in the Bay area when she is done with college in the summer or next fall.
What would you all do? Would you take the opportunity of a lifetime because you wouldn't know too many people when you get out there and are afraid of being lonely and leaving your gf, or would you stay back and wait for her to finish school and then go?
I feel like if I stay in Florida any longer I will just rot. I'm having a tough time getting a job here (even with a college degree) and the job in San Francisco would be amazing and right up my alley.
So, has anyone ever made a big move? How did it work out?
Any advice, suggestions, or insight is appreciated.
2 people like this
17 responses
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I would normally suggest you try it and see how it goes. You can always move back. But, I can tell you my "big move" three years ago hasn't worked out. I moved south to be near my mom who had retired. Now I don't regret the move - only because we found out right after I got here that mom had cancer. I HAD to be here, for her. But, mom has been gone a year now. And here we sit, three states away from home and family. Soooooo, on that note - we are now packing (yes today we were packing) to move back north to family. I've bought a house and I'll be gone within the next 4 months or so, assuming I sell this place quickly.
So while I usually say try it, see how you like it. I can tell you I didn't like it, and I'm going back.
@ClassyCat (1214)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I too sayy - when you're young - follow your heart in seeing your dreams fulfilled. When you are older, or have a wife and or family - everything changes.
I wish you the best.
*Note to rizzu87 - you are just too funny. Poor baby, missing mama and family. I laughed as I read you comment.
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
12 Oct 08
I have bveen movingall my life. Never spent more than2-3 years at one place. In the last 52 years I have stayed at about 18 places. First I moved withmy parents. Thenigot into a job and moved because of th job. The only disadvantage I find with movingso frequently is that you never really have your roots anywhere. You are like a nomad. The advantage is that you have seen thelength and breadthof teh country,. youget a better exposure, youmeet more peopl of different cultures and religions, you get a much wider perspective.
@debby28 (89)
• United States
11 Oct 08
I have never did it but I know people who have and it worked out great for them.
I could not do it I am a chicken and I could not leave my family. But I am older so I think it is different.
I think u are young and u should try it.How dose your girlfriend feel about it? But I don't feel that u should give it up for her because then someday u might blame her for it.
Just do what u feel u need to do and the rest will work out. If u and your girlfriend are suppose to work out u will. Good Luck!
@tigeress (5)
•
11 Oct 08
I just recently made a move like this myself and have a few other times in my life. It's great if you are ready it's not that hard to meet new people and if job opportunities are better go for it.With the economy the way it is right now you just about have to go where the money is. Do you just have yourself to consider? If you have a partner or childern how do they feel about this idea? How do your parents feel? Do you have a support network?Friends you can call back home before you make a new network of friends for the lonley times? Just a few things to think about. I would also have a place rented or at least a deposit before arriving.
Good Luck
@thinksf (152)
• United States
12 Oct 08
Thanks for your response. It helps to know that you've done this several times successully. And you're right about the economy- you do have to go where the money is. There are relatively no jobs here in Jacksonville, so I figure a job in San Francisco is much better, even if it is a low-paying one.
My parents are scared of such a large move, as most parents would be. My girlfriend is all for it now though, where she once was afraid of having me leave.
I agree that it's wise to secure a place before I move there. It will make the move so much less stressful.
@caskins (689)
• United States
11 Oct 08
hello my fellow myLotter, i have moved from texas to pennsylvania. due to hurricane rita me and my family left texas oct. 2005 and never looked back. started from scratch with just the clothes on our back. been here ever since and love it. give it a try. you can keep in touch via phone or email with your loved ones and can meet new people in san francisco. happy posting!
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I moved from Pennsylvania (where I lived all my life accept for college in slightly upstate New York) to Massachusetts, so I could get disability services (like personal care assistance) which were not available in the quantity I needed it. I'm trying to get the law changed so I can go back home. I'd love to live in Philadelphia, near but not to near my family and near activist friends. I won't move back until I can live in my own apartment with the services I need and I work for that goal daily in small and large ways.
@trisha_nava82 (1379)
• United States
12 Oct 08
I have done this I moved like 6 hours away from my home town and it does seem kind of lonely being in a city with really no family. But if it something that you want to do and the job is something that you would enjoy and plus you always wanted to live there then go for it. The place that I moved to was a dream of mine to move here too. And after meeting my husband it gave me the opportunity to live here and have a better life. Because were I lived before there wasn't so much opportunity there and there would be more opportunity for me here. I reside in San Antonio, TX.
@wehomy (7)
• United States
12 Oct 08
yea ive moved very far away it was scary i didnt know anybody all of my friends were in newyork and then i met soomeone special. but thats nothing im gonna move back from were i came from so yea you should to.ummmmm..... so yea i was bored because i lived in the foresst so i was always bored i would do the same thing over and over and over again it was so stupid i couldnt beelive what i had done im moving back next year you should to. this is just somethinng i figured out so go back if your bored. when i was living in the forest i was so lonely and bored so all i did was made a ticket sinnal and moved back but i havnt moved back but i made a sinal so thats good. so thats what you should do.
@babymandy668 (66)
• Canada
12 Oct 08
I currently live 45 minutes away from my parents (that's driving by the way). So they can visit when they want. However, I moved out mainly to get away from them. Our relationship wasn't the best. It took me moving away for us to become closer. The only advice I have is to call them once a week and give them a weekly update.
My husband's also away from me and our son right now for military training. He calls when he can and he text messages me when he can. It's hard, but if you love her then you'll find a way to make it work. Call when you can, text when you can, write her letters when you can. If you both have internet then talk there. Get a week off work sometime and visit her. It'll work. Just have faith and keep your head up.
@hotshoes5000 (153)
• Philippines
12 Oct 08
i moved out when i went to college, the first few months were scary and i just want to go home cause i miss my family but as time goes by you just make new friends, learn new things in a different place and you will be filled with joy knowing you have a certain degree of freedom by living on your own ^^
@Shandy14 (71)
• United States
12 Oct 08
Hello~
Yes, I moved far away from my home...I moved to Arkansas, and lived there for four years. It was frightening at first..And it was like being lost at all times in the begining..My dvice would be to go and check out the are, the place U might work, and the area U might want to live in. Ig U decide 2 move, the first few months are the hardest. U will find new friends. A lot of people in large cities, come from other areas also...There will be people eager to befriend.
Just take a day at a time..Phone home lots...
It is kind of fun to move far away and start new..
Good luck to U and your girl!
Best Wishes~
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
12 Oct 08
well, i'm living overseas with my parents... i'm far away from my original country... i have finished my undergraduate degree here, had my graduation last month, and i will start with my master degree soon if god is willing...
to be honest with u, although i live here with my parents, got lots of best friends and i don't feel myself as an outsider at all...BUT, i do miss my relatives and my old friends very badly...
although, my guy came to visit us last few months, but i do miss him so much...as we are not having the normal relation of talking daily or going out like others...these days, we don't talk that much! in fact, we didn't talk very long since few months..we only share short messages as both were busy; i was busy with my final semester and he was busy with his work..and now, i'm busy with work and seldom meet up online...
Smiley,
@dpjddh03556462006 (348)
• China
12 Oct 08
oh my friend ,i feel my condition is the same with you ,i am a chinese and at the same time i am a student now ,currently i am studing in a collage in my country , i live in tian jin China now and it has long distant to my hometown ,i return to my home only two times each year ,of course i feel lonely when i went to there at my first time ,but it will better after you have many new friends .good luck my friend and wish you have a good time in Florida.
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
12 Oct 08
My case is a bit different. My home is in Saudi Arabia, and i am in malaysia for my studies for 4 years. I dont have any social life here, and i am usually frustrated with everything. Have few friends but they are only time pass. I dont like being with them soo much. It has been just 8 months since i am away. So its just the beginning and there is a ling way to go. My experience so far was not that good. People here think that foreigners are billionaires and they take full advantage of that. So its getting expensive day by day and because of that i have to stop doing things like going out, going for dinner, having good food. And yeah... people here are so stupid and they think that we are the same. I WANA GO HOME !!! MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
