Are you cream crackered?

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An "English lesson" I am sittin here in my bride and groom (room) on my uncle ned(bed), I am cream crackered(knackered) and can barely keep my mince pies(eyes) open. My barnet fair(hair)is a right 2 and 8 (state),next doors basin of gravy (baby) is tappin his eye (crying) all the nickel and dime (time).My loaf of bread (head) is pounding and I have to walk down the apples and pairs (stairs) to get pills! I'm hank marvin (starving) too! Also I don't want to wake my skin and blisters (sisters) bricks and mortar (daughter) then I'd be in Barney Rubble (trouble). I'm quite bored in case you couldnt tell! what do you do when you are bored?