Why do we get so upset with the ones we love?
By sharra1
@sharra1 (6340)
Australia
October 13, 2008 11:17pm CST
Sometimes I wonder about the way we argue and fight with our loved ones in stead of trying to find solutions to the problems and then if something happens like an accident and we risk losing that person we were just so angry with we fall apart and get all remorseful. We tear ourselves to pieces over the fact that our last words were angry and hostile. But it never need be that way if we could just learn not to fight and argue but to work things out so that we never have to have angry words.
How do you feel about this? Do you fight with your loved ones and then fall apart if something happens to them? Wouldn’t it be better to learn not to solve problems rather than fight?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Oct 08
hi sharra yes we should learn how to solve our problems and
work together to make our marriage strong and good. Love
can go a long ways but we need common sense too and a dedication to each other to be there for each other. to
keep that s park of love growing day by day and year by
'year. say I love you at le ast once every day. and mean it.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
15 Oct 08
Hi Hatley you are so right. Sometimes it seems to me that we respect strangers better than our loved ones. How many people do you see fighting with their boss or co workers? They don't, but they do go home and yell at their partner or their children and cause a lot of hurt.
We yell at our loved ones because we think they are safe, that we can let off steam at them and they won't hit back but we forget that they still get hurt. They may not run away or fight back the first few times but the hurt stays there and builds up and makes us angry. Sometimes we do not even know why we re angry or have not seen the link between the hurt we suffered and the anger we feel at the world.
1 person likes this
@jastabs (19)
•
14 Oct 08
i think we get upset with the ones we love because of the expectation we set for them. when they're not able to meet this expectation, we tend to get frustrated that we tend to lose handle of the situation and we mouth harsh words which can really hurt our loved ones. in my situation, i tend to regret being so mean to someone close to me after i burst out when things got misunderstood.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
15 Oct 08
It could be that we expect too much of them but we have so much more patience with strangers than with our family. We yell at our family because we think they are safe, that we can let off steam at them and they won't hit back but we forget that they still get hurt. Sometimes we are not even really angry at them but they are easier targets than the boss or someone you cannot yell at.
Misunderstandings lead to anger and pain and hurt. If the rift is not healed they can cause the most damage of all fights.
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@rajueie (204)
• India
15 Oct 08
fi frends...ya....we get upset with the ones whom we love.....bcos...when they go wrong in some way or the other....we try to tell them as they are loved ones....and if they dont listen to our words....then in the sake of their wel wisherness...we will go upset wid them....and we try to tell them that...u are going wrong...we shud make them to listen our words....we shud not get upset....and we shud not upset them.....be calm and the things are going to be in ur way......thanq...happy mylotting...
@masquedxangel (99)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Honestly this is one situation where I believe people just watch too much television. On all of the shows the woman or man sees something and just FLIES off the handle. I've never once flipped out on someone without waiting for them to give me a thorough explanation. If their explanation doesn't satisfy me? THEN I get upset. I think it's ridiculous the way some people freak out on the people they "love" without giving them a fair chance.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
15 Oct 08
Maybe. I have rarely lost my temper with anyone as I feel it gains you nothing. In fact I believe that once you lose your temper you may have lost the argument. I know it can be hard when the person attacks you in the hope of provoking a fight.
My mother would always do that. If she could not get her own way or could not make you agree with here she would just start insulting me in the hope that I would just go away. It was impossible to ever get her to see any other point of view she was blind to everything.
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@ziggyngr (14)
• Philippines
14 Oct 08
we easily gets upset to the ones we love because we love them. they can easily hurt our feelings in the same way that they can easily make us happy. but being upset should never lead to hurting each other physically or mentally. leave it to your emotions. when the hurt and anger subsides, think, be calm and try to solve it. don't fight. let the anger subside then then try to work things out.
learning not to solve the problem? meaning just be quiet about it even if you're hurt? that should not be the case. it will pile up! then time will come that you will not be able to bear it anymore. you have to deal with every problem. this way, relationship will be smoother.
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