What do you do if your children are defiant?

India
October 14, 2008 9:58pm CST
I often find that my daughter's thinking does not coincide with mine. There are many points of deifference. Say for example, i try and buy shoes in a sale and try to get the chepest pair yet comfortable one, but my daughter likes to buy only branded stuff what ever the cost. some times the cost is three times the cost of the shoes that i buy for myself. When i tell her I cant afford such costly shoes, she says she will manage with her torn pair of shoes ratehr than buy a an unbranded pair. I can't see her wearing the torn shoes too. What do i do? It is not that she is a child. She is grown up but still studying and not yet got into a job. I can't really get wild at her nor forve her into submission. I tell her she can start buying what she wants when she starts earning. She is fixed in her ideas. How to i reason with her?
3 responses
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Hi mercuryman3a Iam sorry to hear that you have to go through this and I say this because when I was a teenager I did the same thing to my mom. Now that Iam older and have 2 kids of my own I see some what , what Iput her through all though my kids are not old enough to do the name brand stuff It still hurts me if I cant afford to get them a toy they want or take them to the fair theyve been dying to goto So now Iam at a point in my life that i regret that part of my life My mom worked hard she was at one point working 3 waitressing jobs to support my sister and I and she still couldnt afford to do what all we wanted but I was to sturrborn and selfish to see that and I didnt care if I hurt her feelings now I just want tokick myself in the butt for putting her through that . I say buy her what you can weather she wants it or not if she needs them shell wear them I couldnt see her chosing to wear a pair of shoes with air condtioning in them over a new pair And remeber when she gets older she will prolly regret the things she put you through I just wish I had known what I know now
• India
15 Oct 08
Good awakening. Better late than never. Hope your childrn are mor snesibvle than what you wre at that age. :-)
@heaven11 (1159)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I too hope my children are more sensible than I was but they always say that your children turn out worse as kids than you were Iam just crossing my fingers
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
15 Oct 08
Hmmm... my mother would just let me be defiant but would definitely emphasize a point which is effective I guess. But she does not give in to me, she stands what she has decided on.
• India
15 Oct 08
I don't give in but thennow that she is in hostel, she saves her money and buys branded stuff. She will nt compromise too. Two strong people never see a common ground. I am a Sagattarian and she is a Leo.
@katkat (2379)
• Philippines
15 Oct 08
You maybe mother and daughter but each one have different mind set. Your daughter knows what she wants and it’s hard for a grown up child to tell what to do or buy. In fact, I’m like your daughter; I like to buy branded shoes because of durability. It may cost a fortune but it will last long. If you can’t afford her to buy branded shoes why not tell her to save some of her allowance and then you can give some money to buy the shoes.