I know my Mom loves me, but I could kill her right now

@sedel1027 (17851)
United States
October 17, 2008 3:00pm CST
She has annoyed me so much. My husband decided to join the Marines. His original leave date was Nov 3rd, now it seems like he may be leaving Oct 27th - my 30th birthday. As you can imagine I amnot happy about that but I was aware it could happen. He took a contract job to work 4 days next week and 4 days the week of the 27th. They are letting him work next week, but we are loosing at least $800 from him not working the 4 days the week of the 27th. Which I am really pissed about because I desperately need the money. Anyways, so I find all this out and I freak out. Eventually calm down because I know he needs me calm. We sit down to eat lunch & my mom calls. She is asking about something that we have planned for tomorrow, even though we are seeing them tonight. I mention the leave date and she apologizes because he is joining the Corps. Now, I know they are every anti-military so I expected that. Then she goes on to say that my grandmother always worried about that, how she always struggled with money and never wanted us to be that way. That really got to me. Last week was the 7th anniversary of my grandmothers death. I was really close to her up until the last few years before she died due to a choice I made. I know she forgave me but it wasn't quite the same. Now it is, almost 3pm. I have to go get my son from school and then go to my moms house for my Aunts birthday party. I am still really upset. I can't let me husband know because he is already worried about me. I can't say anything because my Aunt will be really pissed off because she took my grand mothers death really hard - she has to leave town every year. I don't know what to do except to try to not be upset and forget she said what she did. I don't think she intentionally said that to upset me
4 responses
@ljmacca (86)
• Turkey
21 Oct 08
i am so sorry about you and your mum. my mum has to be one of the most sympathetic and at times she can seem cold and uncaring by some of the things she has said to me in the past. dont get me wrong she is my best friend and i love her to bits but somethimes she says things that just hurt. it makes me really angry at her but i know that in her way she is only saying them bacuse she cares and because she loves me she doesnt know how to be more subtle in her choice of words and how she says them. i guess we have to look past the words (and yes its bloody hard) and remember that if they didnt care they wouldnt say anything, and as much as sometimes i doont like to hear it opinions she's usually right, not always but usually and if she wasnt there my world would end as i know it.....whoelse can piss me off so much (excpet my husband lol) remember we always hurt the ones we love the most........and nine times out of ten it isnt intentional. good luck
@sedel1027 (17851)
• United States
21 Oct 08
My mom and i have never had a good relationship and if it weren't for my son, odds are that I wouldn't be talking to her now. Do you ever tell your mom that what she said bothered you? I - or anyone else - can't talk to my Mom about that stuff, she just gets defensive and unless you cause a huge scene, she won't get it.
• Turkey
22 Oct 08
yeah i do on the odd time that i feel so strongly about something, or she has really (very odd lol) she admits maybe she was too harsh or could have put things differently i will get an apology, and as they dont come all that often, i know then that it is sincerely meant. at the end of the day she is my mum, and she is my best friend, for the first time ever we live thousands of miles away so ive only seen her once in the last year, she might be a pain sometimes but she is the only mum il ever have, and ive always been able to know that although i may not like her opinion i have always been able to talk to her abouot anything in the world and i know that she will always be there for me, life's too short to waste time falling out with those we really love, after all no one knows when's the last time you'll ever speak to them???.....parents you cant shoot em and you wouldnt be here without them lol
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
17 Oct 08
to be honest i have not figured out why are you pissed at your own mum. Maybe you expected something from her and she did not behave the way you expected? Anyway our parents are not perfect and can let us down as anybody else. I think you have lots of things you need to tackle at the same time. You might feel stressed. Don't vent out your anger and stress on her. I hope that you have some friends who can help you right now. I ll keep you in my prayers. © ronaldinu 2008
@sedel1027 (17851)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I am pissed off because she doesn't watch what she says. She says stupid stuff all the time, people get pissed off and she doesn't understand why. I am just tired of it!
@ShellyB (5243)
• United States
17 Oct 08
I am very sorry, I am hoping that writing in here has help you a little bit, I know that your grandma has forgiven you, if this help yous a little (and it has help me) try lighting a white candle and say a prayer for your grandma, talk to her and even write her a letter, tell her all the things you need. You will feel better. *hugs*
• United States
17 Oct 08
I'm really sorry to hear that you are in such distress over the situation. Family battles are never easy and there's lots of interconnected feelings and emotions not so easily explained in public. You're not alone in the Mom issue. Moms everywhere are notorious for being insensitive, especially to their adult children. And, for her, I'm sure that YOU (and not your spouse) is her first priority. Moms never lose the ability to see their children as little helpless babies and not competent adults. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers and best wishes for your husband as he leaves for his new endeavor. He's making a very brave choice. Best wishes to all!