What if your love says you to stop the relation?

@tintusam (1168)
India
October 20, 2008 8:45am CST
Hi friends, i want to ask you all about an important question. May be this topic is discussed here. Its about love. I am in love with a girl. She too loves me alot. the problem is that, we both are of different religion. We were in love for more than 1 year. Am 23 now, she is only 18. But suddenly one day she said me that, we should stop all our relationship. She said that her parents are very strict in inter caste marriage. They wont support our marriage. Also she said she loves her father more than anything in this world. So she dont want to see her father sad. What should i do? stop contacting her? i love her soo much.
5 people like this
32 responses
• United States
20 Oct 08
respect her decision. if she doesnt want to continue based on her parents values that is her choice and all you can do is respect it and keep moving on. on the other hand..she shouldnt let her parents run her life and make decisions for her. My parents hate and i do mean hate my fiance, but i love him and wouldnt want to be without him so i choose him. i still talk to my parents but they had to realize that i am an adult and i have to make my own choice in life.
1 person likes this
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
thanks for your response dear friend. you are right. me too respect my parents. but am sure that my parents wont take any decision that makes me sad. they always supported me and will continue . that is sure. i hope that will happen with her home too.
@srikool (936)
• India
20 Oct 08
well..you can goto to her home and can talk with her father directly..this is a best solution i think so..for this you should be ahigh position in your life..if you are like that..do this..else become a great person and then go to her home.try to make him to understand about your love and true affection with her..anyway she is going to marry a guy...we cant judge our future anything may happed at anytime..so we cant tell anything about the new guy.he may loves her may not.so say all thse things to her father..tell her love too with you.try your best,,if you cant..think about your home and her homs position.and come out of the home..have a joyfull life..done allow your love to fade after the marrige..have a long life..if you cant do these things..marry a girl and ask her to marry a guy..enjoy the life..live for others..your love wont fail for anything..it will living in you and her heart..love wont die or fail..
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
thanks for your reply dear friend. i love her soo much. that's why am still waiting for her. i will wait till her decision changes. pray for us .i finished my engineering and now working as a computer engineer. so i hope my career will be in a good position after 3 years by gods grace. hope she will wait for me.
• India
20 Oct 08
See I believe if two persons love each other truely then they can be together for life long whatever circumstances or situation they undergo with. If she is telling such kind of reason and trying to avoid you that means she was not loving you truely if she would have loved you truely then she would have been ready to face any circumstances. So just wait if she really loves you she will come back but you should not waste your time and life by crying for it. Just move on. If she is truely capable for your love then she will come back. Just dont worry friend. Give her time..
1 person likes this
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
thanks for your reply friend. hope she will come back. i will wait for her. and i promise you dear friends,i wont be sad, i will live my usual life.
@vidhyavini (6112)
• India
21 Oct 08
I am also in the same situation as yours. The same happened to me. I loved a guy from different religion. Both of our parents didn't accept that. Finally I decided to drop. I am a Hindu and he is a Muslim. He has spoken with some members from my family. My family members were asking if he can convince his parents. My parents were very stubborn in conversion. They never wanted me to convert to a Muslim. At the same time they were ok if he doesn't convert to Hindu. When I talked with members from his side, their first question was if I can convert to Muslim. I was just shocked. I actually got afraid about that. We both were 21 when our parents came to know about this. 21 is not an age for marriage for a guy. But it is for a gal. So we had that problem too. I asked for time to my parents. I wanted to wait for atleast 2 more years before marriage. I mean 23 will be better than 21. My parents asked what if he refused to marry you when you are 23. What if he listens to his parents at that time?? At that time what I expected was the moral support from him. My parents just wanted to talk with his parents. They were not ready for that. That increased the fear of my parents. I also asked him to convince his parents to talk to my parents. He was just asking me to be stubborn and asked me to wait for 2 years. That isn't a reply that a partner should give. I had no other go than deciding to drop. Coming to your case, you should be of a clear support to her. And inter religious marriage is not a fun. I have experience with that. If both of you have decided to stay with your own religion, what will your kid be??? Kids will have so many problems regarding inter religious marriage. Think of those and then decide yourselves if you want to continue or not. If you still want to continue, then talk to her. Give her support and ask her to wait for 2 more years. Then go and talk to her family. All the best.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
thanks for your response dear friend.i know you that we are taking a risk by doing inter caste marriage. but i think, we should live with a person who loves us and understands us. i am sure that she understands me than anyone. so i decided to stick on with this relation. i would like to marry her. i am ready to wait for 3-4 years. hope she will be back. pray for us friend.
• India
23 Oct 08
All the best for your success in your love life.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
24 Oct 08
thanx friend. happy mylotting
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
oh.. that's really sad to hear.. but your girlfriends relationship should not just judge people because of their religion.. i guess that's really not right.. your girlfrind should have a choice.. i have a classmate in college who's boyfriend has a different religion that hers.. nobody convereted to join the other's religion and they are still together until now and happy.. guess it all boils down to the maturity and how much you love each other.. but about the question, i pray that my boyfriend wont have to say that.. and i pray we get married and be happy fro good and have our family!hahaha
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
thanks for your response. Actually problem here is , she is telling that she cant make her father sad.
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
i understand that.. i know she doesnt want to be a disrespectful daughter. she wants to obey her parents and doesnt want to be a bad daughter. but still, parents should not choose who their daughter should love..:( and they should instead love who their daughter love.. i understand it must be very hard for you..just dont be very worried, if you're really meant for each other, then it's gonna happen..:)
@tintusam (1168)
• India
24 Oct 08
thanks for your wishes. hope she will be mine. happy mylotting. have a nice day
@subha12 (18450)
• India
21 Oct 08
i have seen almost similar situation in case of once-a-friend. that guy was in love with a girl. after some time she wanted to break up as they had some caste problem. so whatever you feel, it can't be a forced afafir.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
23 Oct 08
actually i don't want to break up. hope she too thinking in the same way. thanks for your reply my dear friend. happy mylotting. have a nice day.
21 Oct 08
If her parents don't accept your marriage, then you should to conclude the love. Affection and love is very difficult to choose among. I also fell in love with a boy in long time ago. His parents didn't agoeo with us, so the boy breaking up with me. Now I have been married and have a lovely girl. my life is very good. You can try to do it. good luck!
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
yea but the problem is she loves me. i don't want to see her sad. am sure that she wont be happy in her life if she agrees her father's decision and marries someone she dont like. i know her character very well. she don't show her sorrows. keeps all her worries inside her mind. that is her nature.
@rohitasp (11)
• India
21 Oct 08
Hello Man, I read ur problem just now and can't help myself to advise you. As per my opinion, this problem is not so great. It can be solved by mutual understanding between the two families. As I am a happily married person and enjoying my life very well, I think love is between two persons i.e. a boy and a girl, but marriage is in between creating relations between two families. So we can do love without family, but marriage is not appreciated without the two families. As she says that her father is against inter-caste marriage, I don't think in this age of liberalization and globalization, a mature person thinks orthodox. So not saying too much, my advice is this could be sorted out with the intervention of some mature person within your family and conversation between the mature persons of your and her families. I wish that God bless you with love.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
thanks for your response dear friend. actually my papa is also a bit orthodox. but my mom knows about my relation. she is ready to accept my girl.i hope everything will be okay. pray for me dear friend.
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
I'll probably ask her if her decision is final. And she wont regret it in the end and accept her decisions.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
i asked her that too. she started crying when i asked that. what should i do?
@miketagz (8912)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
If there's a chance to convince, then try but if its too late, then respect the decision of a girl. Accept it and let go.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
yea i talked with her. she agrees that she still loves me and she wants to live with me. but at the same time she don't want to make her father sad.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
21 Oct 08
no you should continue to contact her, why should you stop because of the differents in the two religion. she has to figure out things for her self.i know she loves her dad but she loves you too why should she have to choose.i was tought to respect other people religion thats different from my own because their religion is different does not mean that it is wrong.they too are trying to serve god as best they can.if they don,t support your marriage which everyone wants their parents blessing then you and her have to make some choices about whats going to happen between the two of you this is some serious talk don,t take it lightly thread with caution.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
thanks for your response my dear friend. surely i will wait for her. hope she will come back to me soon. i know she loves me. may be she will be okay in some days. please pray for us .
• India
21 Oct 08
She should have thought of all these thigns before getting attached to you. it is very sad that not a thought is given to teh future emotional upheavels a relationship can cause if it is not fulfilled. In any case she is much too young. She shoudl wait for another two to three years to finally be able to ttake a decision either way.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
i asked her that why she didn't thought about these problems at the time when we fell in love. but when i ask about that she starts crying.so i stopped asking that question. hope everything will be okay soon. pray for us friend.
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
hi there... Maybe give your girlfriend need some time to think, maybe she's just confused about your relationship specifically in your religion. If you love her that much and you're willing to give up your belief and join in her religion maybe that could help. She is still young, maybe you also try to wait a little while until she can be matured enough to decide for what she think is best for her or for both of you. Or why don't you try to be close to her parents and in the long run if her parents can see that you're serious to their daughter and your love is pure maybe they will accept you.Or try to be extra nice and show all your love and respect to your girlfriend she might change her mind who knows...
@tintusam (1168)
• India
21 Oct 08
the problem is not with religion, she don't have any problem with it. i am christian she is a hindu. but she is saying that her father don't like it.and also its damn strict in her home. so right now i cant show her father that i care for her.i think may be i can wait for some days more. hope god will be with me.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
If you truly love her then set her free. She already made a decision so respect that decision. Perhaps she was right, knowing that she love her father so much youll know that if you keep on fighting for the relationship she will be unhappy too. Specially if her own father disowned her for refusing to do what he told her.I have been there before. I know that the relationship will not last since his parents is against the relationship. Although we love each other i know the relationship will not work out knowing that he love his mom. I cant also continue the relationship just because i love him, i have to take into consideration what he will feel when he will be outcast by his own family. If you are meant to be then destiny will find a way. As for now respect her decision.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
yea sure. i hope everything will be okay soon. thanks for your response dear friend.
• India
20 Oct 08
you should carry on with your life if there is no way out and from my personal reasons it will only take some months to remove her from your mind or else it will be very difficult for you after few years as you will be more serious than what you are right not
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
thanks for your response dear friend. happy mylotting.
• India
20 Oct 08
Hi friend, i would suggest you to stop the relationship. You know that love has no religion and hence if ur love is true then it can overcome any problems.But,since your partner wants to end the relationship becoz of her father i dont think that her love for u is true.Or else she would be with you.so i would suggest u to end the relationship. Life is very long and u will get many opportunities.. So move ahead in life and best of luck......
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
thanks for your valuable advice my dear friend. happy mylotting.
@excellence7 (3571)
• Mauritius
20 Oct 08
I think you must accept her decision my friend. Because true love never rejects the happiness of one's opinions which is a great respect. I think you must accept the decision and time will heal all your problems. Just leave the problems' in God's hands and wait..you will see everything will be settled. Be brave friend.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
yes dear friend. i will accept her decision. i hope god's grace will be with us and everything will be okay soon. thanks for your valuable reply my dear friend. happy mylotting
@sid556 (30988)
• United States
20 Oct 08
Respect her wishes. I know it is very hard but if she is not ready to make her own desicions independent from her parents, she is not ready for marriage or a serious relationship.
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
yea let me think once more . thanks for your reply dear friend.
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
I think you both need space for a while to really think especially your gf. Do you believe that even you love someone still if you set her free if it comes back it was meant really for you. If you love someone you don't ask for a return. Just let time tell I think. But don't expect anything. Good night!
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
yea friend. i will. i will wait for her. hope she will come back. thanks for your reply. happy mylotting.
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
rival beetween family and you, if you really love her set her free, dont let her family ruin because of your relationship but if both of you were really meant to be, you will survived all the obstacles, well goodluck
@tintusam (1168)
• India
20 Oct 08
yes dear friend. that is what i am going to do now. we parted on last week. i stopped calling her. she too didn't called me since now. i will wait for some more time. thanks for your wishes friend. hope she will come back to my life.