Stay or go?

When a person spend a significant amount of time with one partner he/she tends to be unable to move on. Your Aunt has spent 25 years with her partner, my dear 25 years are not yesterday it takes alot of forgiving, compromising and earning trust to last so long with one partner. Now you have to look at alot of factors, for example: (1) are she financially able to make it on her own (2) is she really unhappy (3) are there small children involved (under 18) (4) is her husband really willing to let her go. I am in a relationship which is five years and three months and on Saturday I make up my mind to leave forever but no taxi could come to take my little belongings that I have there because he threatened the drivers. He said that he is not putting away five years much less 25 years. My dear no one can make you happy and you have to ask her if she is really unhappy. I would encourage you not to get involved every relationship has their ups and downs but it is how you turn the downs back to ups. Take care

If that is the whole problem she cares about her husband but does not love him I would not encourage her to leave your uncle, she will leave when she is ready. Good luck.

lisa0502, Marriage per se means nothing if it doesn't lead to overall emotional and spiritual fulfillment that many seek to attain. Some people got hold of it without much problem, while others desperately fight to source it. Nevertheless, one cannot divorce Love from their life without feeling some form of inadequacy. Eric Erikson developmental stages mentioned about Intimacy verse Isolation stage; for if one is unable to achieve intimacy, isolation is likely to occur for an individual. I met a few people who argued that they did not need Love in their life at all. Absolutely. Then again, though the quality of their life might not suffer as they will not encounter the typical woes that besiege a relationship, but critically, the richness of life as a whole will greatly be amiss and will inevitably cause some form of stagnation. Though one wouldn't die without Love, but one cannot seek to leverage much from a life devoid of Love. Of course, one can seek to substitute this lack through active involvement in various causes, but that's only if the individual is motivated to act in this manner. Sometimes, people lacking in love are just about leading inane lives with little meanings as well, which worsen the void further. In Astrology, there is a pattern of Saturn affliction, involving people having difficult relationship with others. This difficulty stems from loneliness, superiority complex, overly rigidity or emotional crystallization - usually influence by karmic ties with the notion of Love. I must emphasize this point: everyone has different internal root reasons for the external cause of isolation. People might be similar, but no two developmental process and the attitude towards those processes are the same. There are different shades of attitude in Love and although your attitude might seemed to fall under the irony principle of love or even superficial issues like expectation and demands. As much as your aunt would believe that she harbors no hatred or resentment towards her man - the truth is that this knot is crystallized after the day she felt she does not love him. You must understand that the realm of the mind and the heart rationalize situation differently. In the complex world of emotions, the feelings are often concluded through clouded judgment of irrationality that does not calculate returns at any given point of situation. Remarkably, this is the direct opposite of how the mind would function. Like a cake, albeit the icing of hatred and resentment are neutralized through logical analysis of the actual circumstances, but her emotions have not been mollify through deep communication and left to decompose the core within. She probably has not had a real dialogue about this or even cried her heart out in an open-ended fashion to dissolve this knot, like how heat is applied to ice - thus it's probably still there and likely to manifest as latent effect. She probably need to first trash out all the unspoken thoughts and feelings she has when she was assailed with thoughts of no love for him. For the trashing session to be effectively, she would need to release everything completely - dropping all motes of rationality, irregardless of how unreasonable she thinks she would be; just open floodgates and release. Then after laying down everything, clarify what she needs and wants to mend this relationship by forging new cause and direction. Sometimes in Love, appeasing the mind is not enough - your heart might need some comfort and assuring. Cheers.

She is not alone. There are thousands of such marriages. I would better leave it for her decision unless I can support her financially.

you know what ive read every comment on here about this discussion and personally im in that same situation with my sister and yes ive told her to leave him just because hes a piece of crap and does nothing but sit on his butt all day. and ive done it sence befroe they got married and i'll keep doing it lol. Sounds mean but i will. However in your situtation i dont see why people are getting all big about marriage. yes you might have built up and trust and respect for one person but if its not there and your not happy get out. Why should anyone live life and be unhappy? That dont make no sence to live with someone and be married to someone and be unhappy you dont have to get a devoice right away but dang i wouldnt and couldnt live and be with someone if i was unhappy with that person weather i was with them 10 years or 40 years dont matter. So honestly there really isnt much you can do just for the fact she isnt leaving herself but she has to know thats not a way to live your life in an unhappy situtaion.