MyLot Opinions Needed...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
October 21, 2008 5:44pm CST
I would like to know my fellow MyLotter’s opinions on a certain subject.
Recently, I started a discussion that upset a family member…we’re still not speaking. Personally I stand by the discussion and don’t see anything wrong with it…the other person feels it’s too personal and that it shouldn’t have been posted. It also seems that my past discussions have come under scrutiny b/c of this.
I talk a lot about my family but never any details like names, addresses, where they work or any identifying things. I guess I should have been smarter and just kept MyLot for myself but I was having so much fun that I wanted to have some family members join in with me…now it’s a problem.
Now when all this trouble started over this recent discussion, my first instinct was to shut down my account and leave MyLot. I calmed down and decided that I didn’t want to throw away 2 years worth of work building up my account…at the same time I despise having ppl watching over my shoulder all the time, picking through my thoughts and words.
So, what would you do: close your account and leave MyLot or close your account and make a new one that is completely anonymous or say to h*ll with it and just try to deal with the spy?
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
31 people like this
95 responses
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Oct 08
twoey read what your motto is down below there in search of
'peace within against the storms I will stand strong, that is
'two magnificent thoughts so use them. You did nothing wrong,
so yes say to h*ll with it and deal with the stupid spy.
All of us mylotfriends will root for you so there. Like I said
before you have done nothing awful, nothing to be ashamed of
'so hold against allstorms and standstrong. I am repeating these
to hearten you a bit.
3 people like this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I know...I need to follow my own words...sometimes it's hard though. I hate fighting so much and it seems like it's been going on for so long...I thought by just giving the problem some space that it would work itself out but evidently not.
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
21 Oct 08
One of the problems with myLot is that it is very easy to give personal accounts of things that may well cause upset to people. I am not aware of any family or friends of mine (other than myLotters) that visit here. I have also posted things, mostly about me, that I have afterwards wondered how wise it was to do so. I think that you have to stick with it. What is done is done and there is no going back. I hope that you make it up with your family member soon. Whatever it is that you wrote, it's not worth falling out about.
3 people like this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I have only told my son what I am doing here and this is not his type of thing so I don't worry about him joining. I have thought at times it would be fun to have my daughter join but then I re-thought that idea anyway she don't have the time to devote to this since she is a mom who has so much going on with her son, her health and online college courses. I do like that I can get on here and vent if need be or just talk with others without having anyone looking over my shoulder or picking at what I did or didn't say.
As for your family members on here I would not know who they were, not sure if any are on my friends list and don't care to know if they are or not.
Since I don't really know what all is going on with you and your family on here it is hard for me to say what I would do if I was you BUT if it was me I would either leave and get a new name for here after payout or I would just say, Oh well, to heck with it.
I just hope you don't leave and not come back.
2 people like this
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I cannot see the point in leaving after two years. I have never read anything that would even hint at who your relatives are. So, this to me seems to be a bit silly, really.
However, having said that, you must do what you feel is best for you.
(((twoey)))
2 people like this
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
@talharaihan (2)
• India
22 Oct 08
its not good to post personal info on any public blog if it hurt others. you shud try to make him understand and negotiate.
2 people like this
@efemtee (158)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
That is quite an issue you have there having these things affect even family life.
Well personally, I refrain my family from knowing these kind of things that I do.
I know that it is not good to keep stuff from people, but I suppose things are better off this way. Anyway, I do have the right to privacy and as far as I know, I am not harming them in any way. As long as I do this, and I do not bring somebody down, then I guess this is fairly okay to do.
2 people like this
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
It is hard to say what is best in a situation like this. No point in telling you it was a mistake to let a family member know that you are on Mylot and giving him/her details 0f your user name. Everyone has a different opinion on what is too private to post on a public forum. Generally I find people post far too many personal details. The thing is, you don't want anybody from your family constantly looking over you shoulder and finding a way to critizise you. If I would find myself in your situation I would close the present acount and open a new one under a new user name and not discuss particulars with family and friends. My family knows I am on Mylot and enjoying it but other than that they have no idea what my user name ist or what I post. I intend to keep it that way. Life is difficult enough without extra stree and having people checking you out.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
22 Oct 08
The unfortunate thing about posting stories or venting on any website is the fact that it may fall into the hands of those you are talking about. You needn't mention names, places or any personal information that could identify the person. Sometimes just stating the facts will be enough. I feel as long as you are not posting personal information that it is okay. Being able to vent/talk about something is good for you. I have posted discussions that help me to get through some tough times. The person you are speaking of will eventually come around. Just breathe and wait. Big huggers to you.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
That is the reason why I haven't had anyone in my family sign up. I don't want them to
read the things I post here. If it were me in your shoes I would sign up again and use a
different user name this time and not tell anyone. I would wait till the end of the
month and then sign up again on the first of November so that you don't lose your
earnings that you made in October, as long as it is enough to get paid by mylot.
I have only one of my nephews that is a member her and he isn't active anymore.
He still makes my referral fee so he gets cashed out about every three months. But
he isn't active anymore and doesn't read any of my postings.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Oct 08
I guess that it is always hard with family, sometimes they seem to get upset over things that everyone else thinks nothing of, I find it hard to figure family out sometimes! I would not close my account down though if it was me, I would just carry on as normal, for a while at least anyway. Although it would annoy me to know that someone was reading every word I wrote, so eventually I would maybe start a new account so that they would not know!
2 people like this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I guess I'd do one of two things. Either just ignore the 'spy', or set up me another account and invite only those friends that you trust and leave the spy out. But that means you'd have to change your account name; otherwise, anyone could find you. But I've found it's much easier to keep family and friends away from your discussions. I never really talk about any of them and anything I've mentioned I wouldn't mind them reading. But it does keep people from talking about things that really mean nothing, if they aren't present here. I've even got to the point I don't even email some of mine anymore because of things that have gone on. It's better to just be 'mum'. 
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
21 Oct 08
Hi twoey! Now that you have laid it out for an open honest
opinion I can finally tell you what I think you should do!
I don't want you to leave, as I said when you first almost
did leave. You, I believe were here first! If they don't
like it, let them leave and don't come back! You have
never said anything as far as I'm concerned that was too
personal. We have no idea who your family members are
and what is going on so they are being ridiculous. Do
we really know who you are? NO! To me you are my friend
TWOEY68 who has lovely discussions! This is not a good
reason for you to close your account, open a new one
as some mystery person who then can't interact with your
friends. I would ignore whatever is going on and tell them
that we don't know anything about anything. This site is
anonymous unless we don't want it to be! So stop being
so paranoid and let Twoey alone to do what she does!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
21 Oct 08
Well as I pointed out to my Mom with over 140,000 ppl on MyLot the chances of anyone knowing anyone else personally is virtually impossible...unless you know each other is on here to begin with. I should have just kept it to myself and I would probably have been happier. Thank you so much for the strong words and support :)
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
@ratheeshnice (27)
• India
22 Oct 08
hello friend,
AS FAR AS IAM COMCERNED IT IS NOT GOOD TO BRING PERSONNEL MATTERS TO DISCUSS WITH STRANGERS OR PUBLIC.EXPECIALLY WITHOUT THE AGREEMENT OF ALL THE PERSONS INVOLVED IN THE PROBLEM IT IS NOT GOOD TO BRING THE MATTER TO PUBLIC DISCUSSION.BUT ANYHOW U HAVE BROUGHT IT AND DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT NOW..AND DONT EVER THINK OF LEAVING MYLOT...BE CARE FULL NOT TO REPEAT THIS AGAIN....BECAUSE WHATEVER WE DO IS RIGHT UNLESS..IT HURT OTHERS.....
1 person likes this
@scroller1 (12)
• United States
25 Oct 08
twoey68, just wandering,have you taken an open mind and considered your family member's feelings just to see if you are completely in the right? if not you might want to do so and if you are right then stick to your decision. i don't know what this discussion was about but blood is blood and it will work it's self out just give some thought to your moves before you make them. scroller1
1 person likes this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
22 Oct 08
Stick with the last one. Too many of the people who were on MyLot from the start have been bullied off the site, don't let it happen to you.
A lot of people put questions about family and friends on here without identifying them and I have had some good advice at times so stay and don't let the bullies win.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I wouldn't close my account. Many people know about my Mylot account, so I never than about my personal problems here.
Whatever you place on Internet, it stays in here.
In your shoes I would not close an account. Try to do what you are doing without talking about your family. Family is always sensitive.
You may try to calm your family member and apologize for open discussion on mylot.
Your account has good image right now, closing it would be a huge mistake.
Like you always say, stay strong...
HUGS
1 person likes this
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
22 Oct 08
yikes. i get the feeling that a family member recognized who you were speaking about. i guess it all depends on how often you come into contact with that person, and how annoying they are gonna get about it.
if you speak/deal with them more than like once or twice a week, i would just ignore it and keep on keeping on with your current account. IF they are gonna make a big huge deal about it, and then go searching for every post you've made and try to start trouble because of something you may or may not have implied..then i would just get to my next payout and then start a new account.
actually...even if i had to deal with that person a couple times a week i think i would get the payout and start a new account. just less family drama to deal with that way. cause with family you know its gonna come up again sooner or later in an arguement or something.
dont put yourself thru that hassle and stress about having to constantly worry about it being read, and then the rest of the family hearing about it. just start over and dont tell any family about your new account.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I'm sorry this has happened to you twoey68. This is why I wouldn't want to tell any of my family members (other than my husband) about this place. As much as I enjoy mylot, and as much as I would like to tell family members (at least some of them) about it, I don't think it is a wise thing to do, especially when I have used mylot to vent about personal problems before.
If a situation like yours were to happen to me, I would probably close my account, then open up a new anonymous one, especially if the dispute between this family member could not be resolved. But then again I can't really say unless it were to actually happen. I'm afraid I haven't been much help and I hope whatever has happened between the two of you can be fixed.
1 person likes this
@stryker5 (52)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I guess my first question would be if anyone knows that you and this person are related. I ask this because if people don't know then this person has nothing to worry about. Even if they do know, it is not worth getting that upset over. Maybe this persons initial reaction was to be upset with it and hopefully they will realize that they over reacted.
My advice to you would be to stay with it. We can't quit everything we do because someone gets mad otherwise we would never get anything accomplished. To be completely honest, they really aren't spying since this is a public forum. I think that it feels that way at this time because you two are having a dispute. You can't please everyone all the time and sometimes the truth hurts.
1 person likes this
@daniel81 (14)
• Guinea
22 Oct 08
When you do something, that upset others, which make you feel uncomfortable,
then before you do it, you should think it twice.
Here is a place of public, you should not bring all of your things here,
including some of your ideas. When you need to express , you may do it
by your blog or your diary.That would be a better way, I think.
1 person likes this
