Telling your children you love them

I know that the saying is "Actions speaks louder than words", but in the case that we are talking about I think they both are very loud so to speak. A child learns from all around them. My real father was not only not affectionate, he was abusive. My mom on the other hand worked 3 jobs to support me and my brother and yet made sure she had Sunday to spend with us and was affectionate. Luckily we both took after her! I have 7 biological children and we are raising one of our granddaughters, (long story) even the ones that are grown and out of the house are told everytime we see them or talk on the phone that we love them. We are a huggy family too. I hear the words I love you alot in this house. Of course not between the kids thou! LOL! That will come as they get older. I think it is very important to give the hugs and kisses along with saying I love you to not only your kids but to your whole family and yes even some close friends. You never know what tomorrow will bring and I want those important to me to know how I feel.

There is no such thing as too much love, I tell my daughter that I love her everyday (she is 4) and i tell her evry time she makes me proud even if its taking her own cup to the kitchen.We are a very affectionate family and I wont have it any other way. I grew up with love and affection and some of it dissapears with innocence ( from your mom or dad) youd ont want them to kiss you and grown ups dont always sit on their parents laps (although we do lol) When we visit my parents me and my spouse and daughter will still all jump on Dad & moms bed and chat the hours away. I dont hink its bad since my parents have been married 41 years and me 10 years. I think it builds stronger relationships We just adore each other~you never know when it will be your last chance

Yes the words are important no doubt but alongwith them there should be recognition and respect for the child too. My parents loved me no doubt (I am their only child) and they did their best for me and my mom specially smothered me with her affection but other than that, there was little else. What I mean is that my mom would always be patting me and telling me how much she loves me and how much I am her life but the moment its something I want to decide on, I have to listen to her decision. Its always been like that for every single thing. If you don’t listen to your parents, you are a bad child. So in the midst of all that love, I really grew up with the notion that I have never been able to live up to their expectations. So even if your parents never said their love aloud, be thankful and grateful if they have respected you and accepted you for what you are. I can of course understand you point and do agree with it, but meaningful actions should accompany the words always.

I like you never heard the words I LOVE YOU as a child. I figured they loved me just because I was their kid, but it just wasn't something that they said. My daughter now has 3 children and she never lets them leave the house or ends a phone call without telling them she loves them. And she has taught them to do the same. Any time they come by or call I always hear I love you when they leave or call. And you know what it seems hard for me to return the statement. I do but there is someting about it that while they are smiling, I feel like I have done something wrong. I am so proud of my daughter in raising her girls, she has devoted her life to making sure they get to the foot ball game or the dance, something I couldn't do much of because i was working. She is starting school or returning soon and I think she has put the ingredients she needs into the girls to be sure they will come home after school or call her if they need to do something else. She allows her girls to do a lot of things that I would not let her do as a 14 year old. But when she was that age kids didn't have the freedom that they do now.

I think this is a wonderful topic and because of this I wish to give my share. The verbal expression, the hugs and the kisses really do matter a lot. apart from the many things we parents do for our children. You are very right. I think those acts will give full assurance and confirmation to a child that he/she is really loved and cared for. We practically have the same type of parents. I was raised in that same kind of environment and treatment. My parents were not also expressive in terms of words, hugs and kisses but they were so responsible. They would even turn nights into days just to earn money to feed us and send us to school. My mother would wake up so early in the morning to prepare food for the us. Her hands were already wrinkled with the household chores but she never complained. As we arrived from school...everything was already prepared and we were given all that we need despite the fact that we were not well to do. My father would diligently help us do our homeworks. My mother would do everything to get all specimen I needed for my Biology class. My father would not eat delicious foods given by his Employer but would bring them home so that we children could partake . I saw how both of them stayed awake at night and looked over me when I was ill and same was done with any of my siblings who suffered the same. They were very responsible parents and fro their kind actions we could very well feel that they loved us their kids. But as I saw other families with parents so expressive in terms of words, hugs and kisses, I was envious and was hoping my parents were also like them. But then in my young heart I just consoled myself with the fact that I knew and I was certain that my parents love and my siblings. I believe this attitude is largely due to the fact that they were also raised by their parents that way. Now that I am a parent myself, I never want my son to experience that same vacuum in our relationship. I am showering my son with all the expressions of love which my parents omitted and at the same time I am responsibly performing my duties as a parent to him as my parents did to me.

My parents never, seldom tell me they love me at all. Only thru action. However, I am sort of person that need to hear the words. So now i tell my 2 childrens in all ways and words. I tell them in all languages that I know :- I Love you Wo Ai ni (in Chinese) Ti amo or Ti voglio bene and REPEATED 10 times a day or more! Believe me, your children will grow more affectionate. Of course, I make sure i give them lots of hugs and Kisses.

Such a wonderful mom you should be! Having been to same scene with my dad & mom, yes, we really didn't even tried to show up and say "i love you". It's like that we're not that showy and too closed to each other. We know and we feel about being cared of, being loved but it's such that we're not used to saying and exchanging "i love you" to each other. Even with my brother and sisters.. we're not used to it. Just after reading your article, I was able to realize that it is very important that aside from the actions that we are doing in everyday life, it is very delightful to feel having someone in your family says to you "i love you". It is a way of a good communication through kids become closer to their parents and parents to their kids. It's what I am doing now. We are transparent to each other and incorporate proper communication to our kids. It's a matter of learning on their part and so they wouldn't feel difficulty in dealing with others. thanks a lot for such a reminder!

I guess, we are riding in the same boat. I mean we have almost the same experienced that i had with my parents on how they make me grow up and until i become a mother too. We all know that we are cared and love but of course, for me saying the words i love you is also important aside from showing it. Thats why me as a mother, i didnt just give and show love and affection but also i tell my kids about the words i love you son...

I totally understand what you mean. I never heard I love you -- with my step dad we fought all the time. I made it a point when I had my daughter that I was going to tell her how much I love her and she's beautiful and hugs and kisses everyday. So far I have a very affectionate little girl and I love it. I just know how important it is to have that emotional connection with your children and how important it is to show them how you care.

HI PALS Expressing love is always a very good deed,it may be either to spouse or kids.It makes others to know how much you love them.love should always be expressed.And child needs tons and tons of love from parents.Because they are the teachers and best friends in the world.A child confides everything to their parents.Telling them how much we love them makes them more happy and they can have a better view about their life.And also teaches them that they should loving with everyone and they become very optimistic in life. bye!!!!!!!!!!!1