17 Year Old Pregnant Teen Going To Be Married.

United States
October 24, 2008 11:22am CST
My boss's granddaughter KA my babysitter just turned 17 and is pregnant. Her parents are making her marry the babys father and they are going to live in her parents basement. Now they are talking about if they should let her have her bed. It's her bed she should have it. Her grandmother gave it too her a couple of years ago it's not like her parents bought it. But the situation at hand is that she's 17 pregnant (at least 5 mos) and bought to be married. I don't think that they should force her to have to marry him (even though she does want to) especially before the baby is born. Also i do think that they should help her out somewhat to the extent to make sure she will be able to finish school and get out on her own feet after she turns 18. If this was a situation that you were in or you were the parents what would you do? Would you help support your teenage daughter until she is able to get on her own feet and make her marry the babys father?
6 responses
@cbreeze (1207)
• United States
24 Oct 08
WOW. I feel sorry for this girl. It would be different if she and the father wanted to get married. How does the guy feel about it? Does he feel he is being forced? If her parents are being that closed minded about the situation, it's no wonder she got pregnant at 17. They don't sound like the type of people who encourage open communication. If it were my daughter, I would only want her to get married if that were her desire and the father of the baby felt the same way. Whether they married or not, I would continue to help my daughter and support her so that she could get a handle on life. I wouldn't take over. She would definitely be responsible for getting up for those late night feedings, poopie diapers and colick just so that she understand how much hands on work goes into parenting. But I would make it possible for her to finish school and go to a local college or trade school and work a part-time job if it were feasable. What's the point in setting her up for failure. By doing that it's not just the failure of the daughter but of the baby as well. The funny thing is many times people who behave like that are also strongly against abortion. Go figure.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 08
I'm not too sure how he feels about it. I don't think that they do have a whole lot of communication. but her parents are really strict though i just don't know how or where they could of done this to get pregnant. I mean she's supervised all the time. She' usually babysits her siblings and they would rat her out if she had him come over. It's a hard situation to understand, but i don't think that they are handling it the right way and i'm not sure how to intervene, if i should at all. But she is my babysitter and i would like her to continue with out her parents feeling suspicous.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
24 Oct 08
Kcbabez14 I love my daughter more than anything else on Earth. If she were to have become pregnant at 17, she is 19 now, we would most certainly have loved and supported her, as we would do now. Personally I think that it is a mistake to force people to marry at that age. They may be a perfect match, they may not, but by forcing them there is the risk of resentment to come. P1ke
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 08
Thank you so much for your response. I beleive the same thing and kind of see it with my bosses.. I work in a family operated office and my bosses are husband and wife who went through the same situation. They act like they can't stand each other and hardly do things together. I'd hate to see that happen to her.
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
25 Oct 08
I agree with you she shouldn't HAVE to marry the guy but since they both want to then so be it. The parents of both the kids should help them to stand on their feet right now if they don't then a few years or months from now they will both be coming home to them looking for help. Even for "seasoned" adults it's hard tomake it out here what makes them think they are going to make it, maybe that's why they are not helping them kinda a way of them saying.."See we told you it's not all fun an games" I can understand why parents would want to do that but they do need to at least help with something for the young couple not just totally cut them loose to either sink or swim they have to think of the baby that's an innocent child he or she didn't ask to be part of this grown up lesson.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
24 Oct 08
I would tell my daughter that I still love her first off. Then I would tell her not to marry this guy until she is certain that she is marring him for love, not just for the baby's sake. I would definitely support my daughter, but I would not give her a free ride. She would have to go to a teen mom program and learn that she needs to be supporting this baby.
1 person likes this
@hildas (3031)
24 Oct 08
I was in the same position at 17yrs. We got engaged, but I refused to get married. My parents where upset at first, but very supportive. I only got married at 23yrs just before my 3rd daughter was born. My eldest daughter has just had a baby boy (he is 9 weeks old). She was 18yrs when she first became pregnant. I was angry with her at first for making the same mistakes as me, (being a mother too young), but after a week I was excited. I never once told her to get married. I think that is not my buisness. She is young yet and maybe when she wants to she should. That is sad what you have described above. You have to help your family out too, no matter what.
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
25 Oct 08
First of all, what is the father's age? Then I don't think a 17 year old is responsible enough for marriage. I do wish her parents and grandparents would understand that and take care of her. If only they can support her, she will learn to live properly.
• United States
27 Oct 08
He's 17 also. But in Indiana with both parents consent they can marry.