Is it always important to tell the truth- even when it hurts someone?

United States
October 26, 2008 5:21pm CST
I was just wondering, Is it always necessary to tell the truth even when we're hurting someone. Is it possible to side skirt the truth and still be honest enough and effective in getting your point across. Or do you think that blatant honesty is the only way to go. Sometimes I wonder. I just hate hurting people, but hate getting myself into sticky situations too. Please weigh in and give me your best advise.
7 people like this
31 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
26 Oct 08
I try to be honest as much as possible but I don't really like to hurt people so I keep my mouth shut a lot rather than do that unless it is really necessary to say something and if I need to say something i will try and be as kind as possible.
• United States
26 Oct 08
I know I should just get right to the point and then wait for the aftermath. I love this person but there are somethings that are happening that are not right. I want to speak my mind, but I refrain and hold my tongue. I think it would be better for my mental health to jump right out as nicley as possible and put theissue on the table. Than I can get back to sleeping and pass it over to them. Thank you both for your response. I need to go drink some honey and get on with it. :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
This is a serious issue. One that is really tough to talk about let alone broach it with this other person. I want to be completely honest and yet that little voice in my head says just sweeten it up a little so she doesn't bolt. I know that sounds vague, but true. Thank you for your help.
1 person likes this
@monimo (83)
• Canada
27 Oct 08
well my friend, you are a rare specimen still alive. Everybody lies. To me, they're called white lies, and I use them every single day, it's impossible not to. Those types of lies don't hurt anybody and never will, of course unless people discover them :P If you wonder about harsher lies, something that you know might surface, and you know might really hurt someone close to you, or even a friend, don't do it of course! It's all a matter of ethics...and apparently I lack it :O Cheers!
• United States
29 Oct 08
YOur answer has to be the most honest of any. I can respect that. Thanks
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
27 Oct 08
There is only one thing worse than lying. It is being brutally honest about something when we know it will hurt the other person. That is just short of being vengeful and this is not exceptable. There is no reason why we need say anything that would hurt someone else. We pick our words so that what we say is truthful but not mean. While some may believe to not tell the whole truth is the same as lying. It is not. It only takes a little compassion and forethought to know when those events occur and how to handle them.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
Wow, that has given me a lot of thought. I read the post a while a go and I have had it on my mind. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@cybersoft01 (1284)
• India
27 Oct 08
Congrats on starting a great discussion. It is not necessary to tell the truth when it hurts someone. I try to be honest as far as possible. You know it all depends on situations. I will tell you a few stories that will clear your doubts.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
Thanks for the congrats...I would love to hear your stories.
1 person likes this
@missybear (11391)
• United States
27 Oct 08
Sometimes you can avoid lying just by leaving out a few parts of the story, you not lying you just don't tell everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
ahhh...omission! short and to the point thank you!! :-)
1 person likes this
@rainnie (48)
• China
27 Oct 08
I think that tell the truth is important,and is comfortable.but, in my life i don't always tell the truth.Because it will hurt many people sometimes,even though i have the chioce to do that ,and maybe it is right . The truth sometimes is cruel,which will let he(she) or you fell bothering and sad,in spite of not desiring to do that. so,we should chose to say the truth,although it will make us fell uncomfortable.
• United States
29 Oct 08
you are right, the truth is sometimes cruel. It is too bad that life itself is sometimes cruel. I guess that by telling as much truth as possible we can put the cruelty at bay. Welcome to Mylot!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
27 Oct 08
I always feel that telling the truth is the best thing you should do. I can never tell a lie and showing a straight face afterwards. I like telling the truth, even though it will hurt the other person's feelings. But most of the time when I disagree about something I would just keep quiet. I am doing that because I don't want to lie, so it better to keep it to myself. However if the person asks me about it, I won't lie and I will tell her that if she had already asked it means she is ready to hear the truth from me. After that I will tell her the truth and if she couldn't accept it then it is up to me. If she doesn't like me after that it is up to her then. I pity her because now I know she is the type of person who only make friends with people who lie to her, even though it is glaring obvious that they are lying to her face.
• United States
29 Oct 08
some people don;t like to be told the truth even if it could help save their life. I am not sure why, but there is that strange person that feels that by lying things can't get any worse. Funny...Things are just snowballing out of control and there is no detection on her part. It's almost as if she is in denial of the problem at hand. AND it is her problem. Maybe that is what I need to remember/. Thank you
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I think it's very important that one always tell the truth. If it's going to be hurtful, you do have to consider how and when to do that. But lying is never an option. If someone asks, "How do you like my new dress?" and you hate it, my mother taught me to say, "Boy, that's some dress." Your friends get to know what your code phrases mean, but it saves you from having to come right out and say, "That is the worst looking dress I've ever seen" and it saves the friend from having to hear those words.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
That reminds me of a book I read that had me laughing all the time. I can't remember the name but it sure was funny. Thank you. You have a point though.
1 person likes this
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
26 Oct 08
I believe that "truth hurts" but if I need to say things which hurts the person, I tried to say it in a way not to hurt him/her if possible. But sometime we have to lie which they called white lies in order not to hurt someone. But if it needs for us to tell the truth, then we should. Because for me, I rather get hurt by the truth than being happy with lies.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
I guess the white lie would just make it bigger. If I want it to go away I should just tell the whole truth.Thank you
1 person likes this
@yenwie84 (1344)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 08
Telling the truth is important to avoid hurting someone. But sometimes white lies are effective in avoiding someone from getting hurt too. I think it all depends on the situation. Sometimes we have to tell the whole truth but sometimes we have to tell some lies to make the whole situation not to the worst side. This is life,lol.
• United States
29 Oct 08
sadly enough...don't you wish it was just easy to tell the bold face truth and people would just thank you in the end. I do!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
I think it is always best to tell the truth.. if you have to say something that they will not want to say just try to say it nicely!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you Louise, It is just easier to hear from someone when you are mulling it over. I have an issue that needs to get fixed and sometimes it is tough to get the first words out there. I posted this question to get my spirits up to just go do the deed. Because I know in the end, The person is more important than the problem. Thank you!!
1 person likes this
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I don't think that truth is 100% always right. I think that with life, there is nothing that always prevails; you have to use your judgment, and since everyone has different judgment, it makes life harder.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
Hi Sheepie, wow that really is profound. Judgement is the toughest thing to have and not have. Sometimes it is judging that gets us in the spot we are in. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Shar1979 (2722)
• United States
27 Oct 08
it's really complicated because some says like "what you dont know won't hurt you" but then there's "it's better to be honest and tell the truth than lie or keep it from you". in the end i choose to be honest and just hurt someone as it wont be fair to neither of us if i keep hiding it.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
It's funny how it just more complicated sometimes. I think a little hurt will be better in the end, rather than the big rift we have now. Thanks
1 person likes this
• Singapore
27 Oct 08
Hi fellow lotter, i dont think its necessary always to tell the truth to someone if it will hurt the person. I think telling a white like is definitely good in some situations as it will prevent the person from getting hurt or sad rather than telling the truth. No doubt being honest is good but it depends on certain situations too. Have a good day ahead and happy lotting!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Oct 08
Those little white lies...:-) You know it is funny that the general public thinks it's ok to lie sometimes. I wonder though where is it ok and where is it not ok to lie. Just a question.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
Not if it puts you in prison. Prison is a bad place to be in. The inmates are mean and the guards are of no help.
1 person likes this
@rainmark (4302)
26 Oct 08
Well if you realyl wanted to be true, then you must tell the truth. It said the truth set you free. So you never feel guilty always and then you live peacefully without hiding something to someone. I know they will get hurt but that's only once unlike if you keep it forever. Happy posting.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
Hiding is more painful than just letting it out I think. There is always the issue of avoidance. Thank you that is pretty sound advice.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Oct 08
It is absolutely ok to avoid telling a truth which is likely to hurt someone. Say for example if your best freind's wife is cheating on him, and you know about it, Ido not thniit is right for you to go and tell him about it at the first instant. You shouldhave a word with his wife and talk her out of her illicite relations. It serve no good if you go and tell your friend immediately.
1 person likes this
@lou_66 (909)
27 Oct 08
i think it is important to tell the truth but you need to think 'does this person really need to know wgat i have to say'. If the answer is no then why take the risk of hurting somebody for apparent reason.
1 person likes this
@lorry86 (77)
• China
27 Oct 08
It's really a dilemma for everyone.It's hard to choice .what I want to say is that sometimes lies maybe helpful to prevent someone get badly hurt.
1 person likes this
@katrhina23 (1282)
• United States
27 Oct 08
It would be best not to hurt a person,. Better keep the lips closed so as not to hurt others. yes i know , white lies is still lying . but what is important for me is how that person feels.
1 person likes this