How do you feel when you are compared to someone else?

United States
October 29, 2008 1:09am CST
In school, i have always been compared to someone. Everytime they will tell me that "she's prettier than you" or she's more intelligent than you makes me feel sick. I don't understand why I have to be compared and I don't think it's right to compare me to someone because I know I am totally different from her. God created us unique and for me nothing is beautiful than the other. I do believe that God is very intelligent. For example : Here in the Philippines, we are attracted to a white - skinned man/woman but in other country, they are attracted to browned - skinned. So you see how smart God is. How about you? How do you feel when you are compared to someone else?
23 people like this
121 responses
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
30 Oct 08
It's not fair to compare anyone to others,specially girls should not be.Girls have some copexity.If the comparison is not good the particular girl feels shame and disheartened. In lieu of coparison the particular girl should be encoureged.Yes God's all creations are unique and beautiful.All colours are attrctive.You Filipinos are yellow coloured.Why you people like white skined man/woman?I feel angry when someone compares me to others.
• United States
31 Oct 08
We like white skinned man maybe because brown skin is very common here. So when we see a white guy / lady we got attracted to them because we rarely see a white man.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
31 Oct 08
I had not idea that Filipinos are yellowish colouured. Because they are of Mongolian race.I visited Malaysia.Malaysians are brown coloured.Though they are of Mongolian race.In Indian subcontinent there are various coloured of boys and girls as brown, black,yellow and white. Boys prefer fair girls(almost white skined)as their brides.Sometimes parents have to give dowry for their black or brown coloured girls. It's really shameful.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Oct 08
Thank you for this very informative reply. I never thought you are very smart. Well you really are smart. Thanks for the reply. happy mylotting!
@sanderzz (10)
7 Nov 08
its the stupid thing which i really hate every 1 as there own ability and talent wit them.. every 1 as their plus and minus.......
2 people like this
• United States
7 Nov 08
yes, you are right reymond. Being compared is not really good and it makes us feel sick. I hope you were not compared there. happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
7 Nov 08
hve u been compared wit any1....
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Nov 08
Yes, I have been compared to anyone. Many times...
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
29 Oct 08
I can't tolerate if I am compared with somebody else. My mother likes comparing me with others and the way she does it - it's like I am useless and she's so disgusted of me being on earth. I can never accept if people compare me, or criticize me. I would get offended pretty easily and I will make sure they know I am offended. Usually when they criticize me or compare me with others, I would spit back the same words at them and I can see the change of facial expressions on them. Suits them right. They talk without using the brain but when people talk the same thing to them, they become stunned. What a dumb. Lol. Sorry for fretting. I'm just angry when I remember about those people who criticize me and compare me to others. It is a very stupid act.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Oct 08
It's ok ladysurvivor I do understand what you felt. It made me sick too. I have been compared to my siblings and I know it's not good. What you did is right. They love comparing others but when they are compared they get mad too. Maybe they should remember the golden rule "Do not do unto others what you don't want others do unto you". happy mylotting!
@msedge (4012)
• United States
1 Apr 09
We are born unique in different ways.Thats why we are recognize by our certain ways that others don't have.It hurts when we were compared tp other people specially with regards to achievement.But the world is round we will never know what will happen in the future.So we should not compare and judge anyone.
@cybersoft01 (1287)
• India
3 Nov 08
I don't like being compared to any one else. My mom used to compare me with her brothers and used to tell her about many things that I have and my maternal uncles did not. You are right in saying that God created everyone unique. We should never never compare one being to another.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Nov 08
Oh that's sad of you. For now, we can never stop the comparisons. Better ignore them at all.
1 person likes this
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
3 Nov 08
I do not like this. I feel unconfortable while be compared with other people. My parents always compare me with others, and they like to say " you did a bad job, you see **** make 90 in math!" It is not right, I really did bad in math, I have 85 in the list. but I have 90 in my English and Chinese, while *** only have 70 in both. I think people like compare my shortcomings with their wonderful parts, and it seems that comparation can make them happy. Now I try to keep that away, thinking too much about it will make me crazy.
• United States
3 Nov 08
Well i don't understand why they compared you to *** but as I can say, you two are totally different. I can't see any comparison between the two of you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
I feel bad if someone compares to me. Specially if that someone he or she talking about is he or she more like them I feel mad. Mad about them and mad about my self. When they say good things about the person they want to compare to me
2 people like this
• United States
31 Oct 08
Oh don't get too affected with what others say. I too hate them but better ignore them and continue developing yourself so that you can prove to them for comparing you to someone. Don't feel bad because you're not like them or you don't have others have because I know you have great potentials.
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
i dont want my self to be compared to somebody else. it's because i am uniquely created with patent. lol!! its just that i am created by Him uniquely and there is no one like me at all. there are some characteristics that they think i am like her but definitely, if they see it deeply they'll find out that its not. it may be close to similar but still it isn't.
• United States
31 Oct 08
I totally agree with you. Other members said that we can't really stop it because it really exist here in the universe. All we have to do is be with ourselves and ignore them.
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
30 Oct 08
I get a little upset when compared to others. Because each individual person is different in there own way. Every one has quirks and every has something unique about them. So really there is no way to compare one another because as close as some may seem everyone is way different. I just try to make a comment like "I'm my person as are so I'd appreciate if I wasn't compared to someone else" I feel that others comparing each other is a waste time. No one is better than the other.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Oct 08
Yes, you are right. I hope they should know something about individual differences.
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Whenever I get compared to others and mostly, in a compliment, I would always belittle myself and if I am not in the mood at all, I would often say that I don't know the person that they are comparing me to. Its not a good thing or a bad thing for me, I guess that's just how others associate people that they get to know. Of course, comparing others to someone better and telling them about it isn't polite to do nor would it convince others to improve, but in some cases, it does. Anyway, in my case, since the obvious trait that I have is my height so whenever there is another tall person that my friends know is present, they would always make us stand back to back and see if who is more taller than the other.. as if being tall is indeed better when you live in a country where almost everything accommodates the average filipinos. (^_^")
• United States
4 Mar 09
hahaha..oh wow! so you're tall? are you 6ft? thank you for giving such a very good inputs about this discussion. As usual what you said does really made sense..
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
Well, I am over an inch on that height that you mentioned so, I am quite tall for an average filipino. Then again, the generation today would even get taller. When I got back to my high school to get my year book, most of the students there were more taller than how my classmates were during my high school days. Well, I try to make sense with interesting discussions, don't we all? (^_^ )
• United States
4 Mar 09
well, it's long but still the concept is still there that's why it made sense.. wow! you're really tall! you're even taller than my husband...hehhee..oooppsss, I am making comparison now..haha
1 person likes this
@bombshell (11265)
• Germany
23 Jan 09
if someone campared me, just ignore it because i know that i am sexy and prettier than her.if she thought she is sexy i will show to her too that i am pretty too.wait if you daughter or kid.if they said you are not pretty tell them"look at ma kids how they looks.specialy if mix wow what a beauty charrr.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 09
hahaha! yes, you're right..your kids would look like a movie star..half - filipina and half - german..what a combination! so, you're husband is german?
@bombshell (11265)
• Germany
23 Jan 09
yes my husband is german
• United States
24 Jan 09
well, I saw your daughter and she's real pretty.."artistahin"..
@taripres (1499)
• United States
29 Oct 08
True. I think we all don't like it but we're all guilty of it! It's something that's done automatically; saying stuff like, all women do this, men do that, just like so n so, u remind me of someone, etc! It's a bad habit that I don't think is going away anytime soon for anyone! So, don't take it personal, it's a universal ignorance! Taripre$
• United States
30 Oct 08
Oh yeah,comparison is here in the world already and whether we like it or not, it's here and it will not disappear because there are really persons who like to compare and there are not. That's what we call "individual differences". God bless you. happy mylotting!
@taripres (1499)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Yep, ur absolutely correct! We r all different, though we do have likenesses to other people, but the comparisons are getting out of hand! And of course, no one likes it! Oh, n I have to say, U R 2 Cute; had to say it:) Taripre$
• United States
31 Oct 08
Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it.
@stormy09 (438)
• United Arab Emirates
27 Feb 09
Hello aisaellis, to be honest it really annoyed me and I really hated it if I was to compare with someone. Because I believe that every person has their own abilities and capabilities to do and not to do things so why we have to be compared. And you know what if somebody tried to compare me to someone I used to tell them that I am not her/him so stop comparing because I can never be her/him and they can never be me.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 09
hehehe..wow! I guess that would be a good idea stormy..I was a victim of comparison too especially to my sister. When I was in highschool, my mom used to compare me to her and that I feel really bad but I can't tell my mom not to do it because we are not allowed to talk to them what to do or not.
@stormy09 (438)
• United Arab Emirates
27 Feb 09
I can understand your situation well aisaellis ( sometimes my mother is also like thatand if shes comparing I choose not say/answer not even a single words) , because if you will say/answer your mother like that it will be a very big story ( I mean she might say more aside from comparing to ur sister)..
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 09
hahaha..I agree with you..she will nag at me whole day if I'll answer her.. I love my mother though..
@ankit_620 (495)
• India
19 Feb 09
when i am compared to anyone else.....i don't feel jealous angry or start frowning , actually i dont even care because at this moment of time we need to act mature and realize that comparison is a part of life and we need to accept it. I dont start hating that person with whom i am compared to, it is normal and at last I am always proud of being unique.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 09
wow! that's the spirit! I salute you for a good outlook in life..everybody should think like you...
• India
2 Mar 09
Thank you very much..
• United States
3 Mar 09
you're welcome ankit..
• China
26 Nov 08
ye,we are often compared to someone.because the society is full of competition.if we still live in such a society ,we must bear the presssure of compareing to others. ye,no one will like others compare us to someone especially to someone who is very excellent ,that will make us very frustrating.i hate it also. but on the other side ,this comparison will let us recognize our inadequate,and encourage us to work hard.if people say that i am not richer than james,their words may encourage us to earn more money to pass james.hehe.
• United States
26 Nov 08
I do agree with you gyt557799. I am just curious, who is james?
• China
28 Nov 08
hehe,James is a virtual person.i do not know him also.but we could find many "James" around us,right? i admire you very much.you are very popular at mylot.many people add you as their friends ,and they all reply your topic carefully.how do you succeed doing that?i want to learn the method from you. your mylot is good.the pictures are beautiful.wish more people will like you.
• United States
8 Dec 08
hello gyt557799! I never knew I am popular here. I am so flattered with what you said. Actually, I just read your comment today and it really feels good. You know what, the only secret is try to make friends and be close to them be active to their discussion and I know that some of them will look out for the new discussion that you will make, but of course, you have to think of the discussion that all the mylot members can relate to. And one more thing, try to expose your discussion by commenting to the respondents response. I hope this helps.
@calyxus (827)
• Philippines
13 Nov 08
It doesn't concern me at all. I mean they can compare me to whoever as much as they want but I'm not gonna be discouraged because of that! I believe every person is unique. I am no way different as a person but I do have characteristics that they don't possess and vice versa. As for you my friend, don't get frustrated because of their comparison. Just do your best always and God will do the rest.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Nov 08
Thank you so much for your response calyxus. you have your point there. In this discussion, I have learned that even if we hate comparison, there's nothing we can do with it because it already exists here on earth.
@calyxus (827)
• Philippines
16 Nov 08
Yeah, it is always there. People will compare and compare us to somebody else. Especially if they have nothing to do with their lives, they will criticize the life of other people. And I hate people who do this.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Nov 08
Yes, i agree with you. Thanks for answering my discussion.
• India
31 Oct 08
Every man or woman has natural tendency to compare! It is our inborn habit. This is becuase, God has created huge variation between his creations. From human to human, from animal to animal, from plants to plants there is noticeable variations. One is different from another. So our eyes and mind read every different creation of God in different mood and temper. And by nature human being has weakness to the better one. Be it physical or intellectual beauty, everybody prefers the better one! And it is natural that your near and dear ones compare you with someone, because they want that you emulate him/her. If I am compared to someone who has good personality and is well respected, then I don't mind. I try to figure out, whether what others are saying is true or not. If it seems to me that there is logical side to compare, then I don't get annoyed and try to make some positive change in me. That's it. Thanks dear for starting such a mind blowing discussion!
• United States
2 Nov 08
Very well said little boy. Your reply should have been my best response because it's really good but since when you reply I already gave my best response. Allow me to say thank you. You're so smart and very good in english too.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Nov 08
Thank you dear! You have said that my response should have been chosen as the best response! I really feel honored! But I am too late in the race of answering this beautiful discussion! I am really pleased to learn you have given me so much respect! If it is too much late to choose a best answer, but it was not too much late to rate my response as positive (+), if it could hit any hot corner of your soul! LoL. Just kidding! Rating positive or negative is totally your decision. you have said, I am very smart! I am truly blushing now! Also you said my english is very good! Is that so? But it seems to me that my english is......could not finish the line....LoL. Good luck! Really I hope to meet you somewhere in myLot everyday!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 08
Oh yeah, you gave me an idea little boy. Well I did it already. Thank you for being my friend. Hope to see you here too.
@kholid78 (341)
• Indonesia
30 Oct 08
Hi Aisaellis Its true that we become feel uncomfortable when happened so. On me, people always comparing my face like as his friend, her neighbor, his brother etc. I just said like this : I'm not surprised, You are just a people to 115th telling me like that. lol
• United States
31 Oct 08
Hahaha..very funny reply..You're so smart. nice to see here kholid..
@kholid78 (341)
• Indonesia
1 Nov 08
I did with positively thinking. We like as a bit dirt only in the very big world. In fact we must at front of them. The nice one can get the best welcome more and more. Thank you ..
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Nov 08
you're right. I am glad you made it here kholid. i hope you have many friends now.
@wolveren (1577)
• Cebu, Philippines
30 Oct 08
Yes sometimes I think it's not really nice to compare someone with you. But I don't seem to mind. Anyone can say anything they like. But in some cases, specially if it was intended to be a joke or a real snappy insult I snap back and say, yeah look in a mirror sometime maybe you'll see what your real problem is too. Hehehe.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Oct 08
Very good reaction indeed. I know you're strong.
@wolveren (1577)
• Cebu, Philippines
31 Oct 08
I think people who always compare people with other people has a problem with themselves. The truth is they compare their selves with others and they always see others better, prettier, taller, smarter, whiter, smoother or just superior than themselves. It's psychological I guess, so they go compare other people with others so the blunt won't be too much on them. hehehe.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Nov 08
very well said wolveren..that's what i thought too.. MOst of the people who love to compare are those the insecure people..
@balasri (26549)
• India
30 Oct 08
Bored.Because one cannot become another.I just hate comparisons.I always feel that I am good.There may be better people and I don't care.But I can improve myself and strive to be a better one always.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Oct 08
Same here. I don't want to be compared too. Bu let's just igmore them and continue with our life. They will probably stop.
@balasri (26549)
• India
2 Nov 08
So we both have the same attitude.Am I comparing ourselves?
• United States
2 Nov 08
lol! happy mylotting!
@munhozmib (3850)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
29 Oct 08
Hello, Aisaellis22. I am usually compared to this guy at school. They always say that he is this and that, while I should try harder. "He is handsome. He is all great. He is a really nice person.". They are always saying good things about him near me, and like comparing me... They put him in the highest place possible. I really dislike it, I feel so bad... I mean, I like this girl and he went and conquered her. They got together. I want to do something, then I realize he already does. "He speaks English better". There are times when we are compared in which I should be the one who receives the best commentaries, but I don't. He is always the best. No matter how hard I work for something, he is always in front of me. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Oct 08
[b]Oh that's not good. I know what you really felt. well all you have to do is continue with your life, don't mind him and grow yourself without thinking that you'd be better than him because I know you are far more better in your heart. happy mylotting![/b]
@munhozmib (3850)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
6 Nov 08
Thank you for your nice comment. In fact, I do not think I am better than him. He might be better, what is the problem in that? As long as people do not keep throwing it against me...
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 08
I can tell that you are a nice person. Keep up the good things. Goodluck here.