A friend, still ...
November 2, 2008 9:14am CST
One of my friends visit my house frequently and he thinks he has the right to visit thus. I should not mind him visiting this way. He is otherwise a good friend. He does not feel that I may be busy or I may be tired and I may need rest or privacy. Thus my program is being disturbed and some jobs that I should have done are not completed. And he is such a friend that I do not want to tell him my state of mind directly. Will you please tell me what should do to do away with such misery ?
2 Nov 08
Well for me honesty is the best policy, talk to him about you feel, i know he will understand for he is your friend. tell him that you have things to be done on time and you are busy. I know that he will feel bad about it but you should be honest to him. Or if it is hard for you to do so, try ignoring him when he came to your home and continue what you do. When he see that you are very busy and you dont want to be distured, he will go out imediately otherwise he is not your true friend at all for he doesnt care about your feeling.
7 Nov 08
I understand that in Western countries they visit each other after duly informing or by appointment. In India we dont bother about it.Sometimes it is inconvenient to the host as it happens with Mookhor here. If we are very intimate, we may carry on with whatever we are doing. But perhaps Mookhor is sensitive and feels it improper to ignore the visitor.Sometimes we have to tolerate it because, otherwise, Mookhor may be branded Uncivil or proud etc. as what the friend does is the usual practice here. Mookhor has to make the friend understand the problem as gently and civilly as possible without spoiling the relationship. After all, the visitor is a friend! Mere frankness on the part of Mookhor may be treated as an affront. Nowadays,'phones have reduced visits. But even 'phones are no less cause of inconvenience and disturbance.We have to bear with it till we grow more civil.