Do you get offended when some people makes bad comments on your kid?

My thin but healthy kids - This are my kids and they seems unhealthy because they are thin but that is not the case as they seldom got sick.
@pehpot (4762)
Philippines
November 4, 2008 12:24am CST
My kids as you all know is ages 5 years old, 3 years old and 6 months old now. They are skinny babies and they don't grow that much on weight. They got from us, hubby and I is not that fat, our bones structure is not that big and even if we eat so much we don't get that fat(although I am a bit fat, but I hope you got my point)Well a lot of people would say that the kids are so thin and why they are so thin etc, it really offends me when people says that. As a parent they do not know what it can imply to me. Well my kids are healthy, they maybe thin but they seldom got sick, there are kids who are healthy looking but they are the ones who got sick often. I have friends who are now parents too and I really take extra precautions when I make a comment on their babies, specially that type of comments. One of my closest friend, her first born is thin and instead of saying why the kid is thin, I commented that her first born take on her weight as she is sexy thin too. I hope a lot of people would take precautions on commenting on some else's kids as it can hurt the parents. You know that the way you can be friend to a parent is through their kids. [b] How about you fellow mother and father, are you offended when somebody makes a bad comment on your kids?[/b]
11 people like this
42 responses
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
4 Nov 08
YEah, most of the time, most ple will prefer to see chubby kids or even babies because they see it as a sign of good fortune.. But they dun realise that, being fat or chubby, will be fatal as compared to being thin.. FOr being thin is maybe malnutrition or that they have high metalbolism rate and thus they wont be fat, that's good.. BUt being fat, will mean that they might have risk of high blood pressure, over indulgence in food etc.. Thus being thin has got it's advanatages, and if others were to comment on being thin again, just let them feel jealous by saying, thi is better than fat because it's more healthy.. lol
@wolveren (1577)
• Cebu, Philippines
5 Nov 08
That is totally rude of some people to make such comments on other people's kids. Maybe they don't have anything else better to do. But it is rather common for some people to do that. It's quite easy to understand it. Simple minds talk about other people (and other people's kids) Lol. Average minds talk about current events. Brilliant minds talk about what to create or do (and about thousand other more things in between) for the good of everyone years ahead of time. Cheers!
2 people like this
@AnnaB7 (757)
• United States
5 Nov 08
I agree it is rude of people to make unkind comments on people and their kids, all of my babies were born very large, but then proceeded to gain weight slowly and have gone on to be on the thin to average size as they got older. But ALL of my children are extremely healthy and very active, also both my husband and myself were very thin as children and teens me being very thin, my husband was on the thin to average size not fat., but after I was married I gained a lot of weight and have not lost it till yet which means I am fat while my kids are not, and I really hope they don't get fat because being fat causes a lot of health problems and a lot of pain in general/ at least in my opinion. Plus I always don't have any energy and it is because of being fat.
1 person likes this
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
5 Nov 08
Hello, Of course I would be offended. Which parent wouldn't? Again there is no point in telling off those offenders, because it is of no use. They have to go through the same situation, to understand. So let it be, and learn to ignore it. You'll be fine. Pray for strength to face such people.
2 people like this
@salonga (27835)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
Of course it's offending to hear bad comments on our kids so I myself is very careful about uttering words to other children that might be hurtful to other parents. I understand you dear for feeling bad but those who are commenting that your children are thin do not know what is healthy and not. Many people found fat children as cute but little that they know that fat kids aren't healthy. In fact they are malnourished. They are as malnourished as those who are under-eating. The overweight kids are as malnourished as those who are underweight. You need not worry, you know your kids better. I know you are a good Mom and feeding your children the right food. You see... they are not sickly. It goes to show they are healthy. My twins are not fat kids as well. No, I never want them to grow fat as their elder sister who is obese. I told their Mother that once the twins become obese like their sister, I will not forgive her anymore. So she is very careful with the twins. And the twins are always with me so I could check on their food oftentimes.
2 people like this
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Oh yeah, I get offended a lot. Just like you...I am thin myself. I eat a lot but I dont think I'll ever gain weight. Heck my skin in my wrist can't even stretch out anymore. I get offended when people would tell how thin I am. They do the same with my daughter. They'd say she's small and thin. I would just shut up but honestly I would want to say DUH!!! Are you stupid or plain dumb? Can't you see that the mother is small...that makes baby small too. It's in the genes. If both parents are small then don;t expect to have a giant baby. And PLEASEEEEE!! Don't compare your kid to other kids. It's really rude.
2 people like this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
hi there! my 3 kids are not that thin but not that chubby too..they are in between...my youngest is just 4 months old and yes she is on the small side compared to other babies her age especially her cousins who are boys and are really big...i will be offended when someone says bad things about my kids especially on the way they look..and making comparisons...of course i am very proud of my 3 kids...no matter what their sizes are big or small...and actually it had happened to me a lot of times before...so i really am being extra careful in giving comments on other babies..because i know how hurtful it is for parents...if we have nothing good to say...just keep your mouth shut right?
2 people like this
@mods196621 (3629)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
Of course I feel bad and offended when they commented negatively onto my kids. We are parents and we love our kids and for us they are the most out of the world ever. If you hear again that negative comments try no to entertain them for you are the one who knows best what your child health. You as mom or dad ignore them and stay close to your family think positive for what God gives to you and be happy for it. For it is God wanted us to do. Accept what He gives us. :)
@savypat (20245)
• United States
6 Nov 08
You let your ego get involved, your response should be Yes aren't they luck to be thin? That will stop your bad feeling and shut the bad mouths up.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
7 Nov 08
I like this answer. But that's because I'm fat and I would give anything to be thin again. You should be proud your kids won't get the critisism in school that bigger kids get. And I soo agree with what your response should be " aren't they lucky" :)
1 person likes this
@chaska (170)
• United States
5 Nov 08
I do become a little defensive because it sometimes hurts my kids feelings. My eldest child has a big bone structure so she is heavier than my other children. she is 8 years old and sometimes people will comment on her size. Her younger 2 siblings have small bone structure like myself. She is not fat but is starting to become concerned and sensitive about being slightly overweight.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
7 Nov 08
This is exactly why people should think before they speak. They may be talking to the parents but the kids can hear too and it hurts their self esteem very much!! I was chubby as a child and when I would hear that I would feel so FAT. I don't think things should be said about anyones kid unless it is your own and still not in front of your kids. Their your problems not any one else's
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
4 Nov 08
YES MA'AM, MY SONS ARE GROWN BUT I WOULDN'T LIKE ANY KIND OF REMARKS LIKE THAT ABOUT THEM OR MY GRANDSHILDREN. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY PROTECTIVE OF MY BOYS, I RAUISED THEM BY MYSELF & THEY ARE NOT PREFECT BY ANY MEANS BUT DON'T WANT ANYBODY SAYING SOMETHING UGLY ABOUT THEM TO THIS DAT. THEY ARE 47 & 2 BUT DON'T THINKTHEIR MOM WANT TAKE UP FOR THEM "IF THEY are RIGHT'.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
4 Nov 08
your kids look great to me. they don't look so thin. better be thin & healthy thanto be overweight. i was overweight & people make fun of fat kids to. some people just don't know when to keep their traps shut. don't worry about it.
1 person likes this
@slash23 (102)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
Yes, of course..i do get offended! Especially when they say the bad comments in front of the kids. Grrr.. Some people can be so mean/rude/insensitive, huh!? Offtopic... but somehow related. I have this pet-peeve... when I was pregnant, I hate it when people comment on how you look, comment on your belly's shape, touching it, etc. how they "forecast" the gender of the baby..yada-yada. These are not close friends nor family, mind you. haha. Bottomline, it all boils down to respect and being sensitive to other's feelings. This is the right way to deal with others so as not to offend anyone.
1 person likes this
@krissy32 (205)
• United States
5 Nov 08
You're not alone there, I really hated it when people would just think that they can take liberties with another person's belly. Drove me bonkers, probably why I didn't like going out in public when I was carrying my kids. It was years ago, but the memory lives still.
1 person likes this
@cindy2003 (196)
• Australia
4 Nov 08
I do find it offensive if someone said something bad about my child to my face. My 5 year old is a solid and tall girl, and sometimes people comment on it, and i just say well take a long hard look at yourself, you're not exactly perfect yourself are you, and they turn around to me and say, that was a bit harsh and nasty to say that, and i turn around and say, well i could say the same thing about you what you just said about my daughter, so i never get comments now on my daughter but only good comments
1 person likes this
@krissy32 (205)
• United States
5 Nov 08
Good for you! No need to take any garbage especially from strangers who think its their business to point out other people's flaws, but hate it when the same is said to them back. Not so high and mighty,now are they?
@rusty2rusty (6760)
• Defiance, Ohio
7 Nov 08
Most time when people say things about the weight like that. They are not trying to offend by either curious or are really looking out for the welfare of the child. I don't tend to mention a child weight unless I see a big change in it. Than I ask what is going on or something. If the child is sickly looking. Than yes it worries me. It really takes alot to offend me anymore.
1 person likes this
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
7 Nov 08
i guess every parent would be hurt if they hear bad comments to their kids. in my case, i would ask the person what made him say that... and that it's not right to give bad comments to anybody, and i bet he wouldnt want anyone to say anything bad about him....
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
7 Nov 08
I don't think it's just the size of the kid that makes a rude remark, my son is almost 4 and he don't talk very good. people ask me all the time are you working with him, does he see someone for his speech, have you gotten his ears checked. What I really want to say to these people, " What do you think I am deaf, not a good mom, Why would you ask me such questions unless you had dout in my parenting!" I know he don't talk good I live with him!! Of course I have looked into things, don't they think I want the best for my child!! I mean my gosh some people just don't think before they speak! I could go on and on, but I think you get my point. Good descussion
1 person likes this
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
5 Nov 08
Heaven yes. Say what you want, do what you want to me and my face, but lay off of my kids!! To me it is rude to insult anyone in any way. Why ever do that? I had an uncle comment once (to explain I have a very young uncle only a few years older than me who had his daughter 6 days before I had my son, and this uncle I am talking about is this younger uncle's older brother), because my son walked at 8 1/2 months and his cousin was almost a year and not walking yet, that children who walk earlier aren't as intelligent. I got in his face and said I walked at 8 months how about you. He said not until 12 months, and I said fine I'll pit my IQ against yours any day, fess up!! Needless to say he backed right off. Yeah, don't mess with the kids!!!
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
5 Nov 08
Yes of course I would feel offended if someone makes negative bad comments about my son. However I would not make a storm in a teacup about people who would comment about my son's weight. Whether he is too thin or too fat. I would watch my son's weight since he has a tendency to put on fat but that is it. I would not take notice of what others might say.
1 person likes this
@rainmark (4302)
4 Nov 08
Well, it's very normal to a mum who gets offended when other people commented to thier kids coz it also reflects to you as a mum of kind of mum you are. Maybe people going to think that we never feed our kids properly or lack of nutritions and i hate those kind of comments. In my case, my baby is not skinny, since i gave birth him, he is really big and cuddle chappy and until now, but what makes me offended is most of the filipino friends of mine or neighbors when they see my baby, they always tell me that i looks like not his mum coz my baby is mestizo well i get offended of that. So everytime that someone asks me, If he is my baby, i answred them , no, im his nanny lolz. I wanted to squeeze thier neck hahaha they mayb commented those because they got jealy to me hehehe.
1 person likes this
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
Precisely, i will get offended to the comments of the people to my kids for i try hard to give them their daily needs and vitamins just to grow normally. I have also a problem to my youngest daughter about her weight for she is two years old and she only got 10 kilos and the doctor is trying so hard to give a good vitamins that she think can help the grow process of my baby but unfortunately it never reacted the body. Some people ask me if how old is my daughter i told them that she is 2 years old and the first reactions are something shocking to them because she is so small to the normal baby and even its true i still feel offended that they are laughing comparing my baby to other normal baby in the same age.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
Yeah i am very sensitive when it comes to my kids. So as a parent (I mean i am the one brought them here in the world) of course if someone says nasty things about my kids i would be hurt. I think it is a human reaction towards your children you are being protective and very sensitive