Do you think do you have what it takes to be a good parent?
By gracetreyes
@gracetreyes (529)
Philippines
November 4, 2008 4:09am CST
Well honestly i don't know until I've got a child. And up to this moment I am trying to be a good Mother to my son. It not just a matter of financial needs, in all aspect of His personality, I want to be involved. In his mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and financial well being.I want to be my Son's best friend, that even though he become grown up, He will still confide in me whatever problems comes his way. I believe that " Train up a child in the way He should go, and when He is old, He will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6.
How about you? Would you care to share some views here.thanks and happy posting...
2 people like this
18 responses
@daceyp (327)
•
4 Nov 08
you never know if you are going to be a good parent untill the day you become one.you may think that you are good with other peoples children but you can always hand them back at the end of the day.its not untill you have your own the you really see what sort of parent you are.you have your own you have them 24hrs a day 7 day a week.some days you can think your a good parent and other days you can think you are total crap.depends how the child is themselves,also if your haveing a crap day that reflects on the way the child is.with my first child i found it really easy to know what she wanted and when she wanted it.but with my second all she did was scream no matter what i did for her.it turned out that she has a medical condition that was causeing her to fit alot.she was tounge tied so she wasnt feeding properly either.even now at the ages of 6 and 11 i have days when i think what the hell am i doing wrong with them or is there anything more i could have done when they were younger
1 person likes this
@spoiled311 (5500)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
hi grace!
i guess every one wants to be the best parent that they can be to their children. no matter how absurd one's parenting style is, they still think that they are trying the best that they can.
but i guess, we cannot really be perfect as parents. we can only do the best that we can. right now i am expecting and we are praying to God for His guidance and wisdom in how to become the best parents. in how to guide our children in the way of the Lord so that when they grow up they will not fall away from the Lord. we also need God's grace and favor in providing for our kids. times are tough and kids have special needs that have to be met.
at the same time, we also study. we read books. we ask people and we listen to advice. by the end of the day, we sift through the wisdom of the ages and decide on what we think is best for our baby and what we can do. we are not well off, but we would like to give our children the best given the circumstances.
but i think that inherently, none of us our good. only God can transform our best efforts into something good.
take care and God bless you! :-D
@serialmommy (639)
• United States
5 Nov 08
I believe that I do. I wouldn't have kids if I didn't. I work hard to be involved with all of them, to really know them, and know what is best for them, as a group and family, and also individually. The fact that they are growing up well educated (we homeschool) and well behaved tells me that I am doing right by them.
@nengs10 (3180)
• Philippines
6 Nov 08
I guess so. Though I have no kids yet at the moment. I actually really wanted to have even one. Of course, I need to prepare many things especially the material things that they will be needing. From milk, clothes, vitamins and all, we have to prepared.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
5 Nov 08
That's true friend, if we trained our child from their childhood up to their grown up period honestly they formed for what we designed. As of now our new era of raising up kids, sometimes, it is hard to do and to get them for what we wanted them to be. I have experience it with my kids as of today but not to the extent of hardness. Maybe because the influence of our new technology like, what they usually play in the computer or what they saw in television and the company itself when they are outside. But most of us mother or parents want our children to be their friends. The best thing I know we can do is, to extend our patience and love to them try to understand them in times of their unexplained emotions. And of course, do not quit to guide their pathway of life. Ask always God's assistance, mercy and never ending love for us.
@patgalca (18338)
• Orangeville, Ontario
4 Nov 08
I honestly don't think you know until you have a child. And children don't come with manuals so you are really winging it. I thought I was a terrible mother. I raised my first daughter alone for the first two years and I was frustrated and sometimes took my frustration out on my little girl. I hated myself for it. Then when my second daughter was born I became ill with fibromyalgia and I couldn't be the type of mother I wanted to be. I did have the blessing of being forced to stay home and not go back to work because of the illness. I think my children are better for it. But I have spent years thinking I wasn't a very good mother.
Well, my daughters are 12 and 15 and they are amazing girls. They have great athletic skills, come up with great academic marks, have great sense of humour, and most importantly they aren't typical teens who hate their mothers. They actually think I'm cool. So... I must be doing something right, eh?
As I type this Dr. Phil just said there is no test to becoming a mother or a father. Something I always said is being a mother is the hardest job in the world but the easiest one to get!
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
5 Nov 08
Even when i do not yet have my own child... i already know that i have what it takes to be a good parent... since i took care of my nephew and nieces when they were still very young... even of my young cousins... their parents would always entrust them to me... and i believe that kids love me... i do not know why... but i have this certain character that attracts kids...
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
5 Nov 08
Good parenting to one may not be the same to the other. it varies from family to family. To me good parenting means guiding your child mentally and spiritually. I have always taken the medium path to bring up my child. Ive never been a very strict mother or a very lenient one too. I have taught him to expect only as much as I can afford, no matter what his other friends do. Oh, he desires this and that, but when I explain my inability to pay, he understands. Making your child an understanding person to me is the best gift a mother can give to her child. It can overcome so many problems, in your life now and his life later on. I guess all parents would like to be a good paernt and most of us try. We can only do so much. The rest is in the childs hand and his destiny. Ive read many a mother lament about her child in mylotting, and good parents too. Its just too bad they have to suffer so.
@android (895)
•
5 Nov 08
I would say that empathy is the key. Think back to when you were a child and what sort of things would make you feel happy and comfortable. What would you have like to have had that you can offer your child. In my personal experience my parents tried to push things onto me and it just made me less interested in the things they tried to push on me, so don't ever try to force or manipulate your child into doing something they are not comfortable with. Be loving but give them their space and respect their decisions. They have their own thoughts, feelings and ambitions and whatever they are your children will respect you more if you are supportive of them.
@Masmasika (1921)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
I think I do but to the extent that I had spoiled my son. I had reared my son alone and I wanted to give everything to him but I was wrong in some aspects as I had spoiled him. I haven't taught him to help me with the work at home and I have given him too much freedom. Now that he is seventeen, he is very lazy to study and he just loves playing the computer...
I think the best way to rear your child is to give him what he needs but not too much. Too much of everything is always dangerous. Be strict but kind to your child and don't give your child too much freedom. Keep them in their proper places as your children and do the rest as a parent.
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
5 Nov 08
hello grace, like you, im still trying to be a good parent. i do support my kids in any other way i can... but it's still best to learn from everyone's experiences... :)
@livvy252003 (178)
• United States
5 Nov 08
I like to think I am a good parent, my children know right from wrong, they love me, and respect others. I mean you never know what kind of parent you are going to be until your kids are grown, and even if they turn out rotten, it doesn't mean that you didn't give them every tool they needed to turn out well, it may mean that they just didn't use what you gave them!!!
@slash23 (102)
• Philippines
5 Nov 08
Hi Grace! Well almost all mothers share the same sentiments as yours. I believe we already are considered good parents simply by thinking what's best for our child. And you know what, our kid is the best judge. Hearing her say, "mama, i love you so much...this much {with her arms extending to illustrate}!" Aaahh... you'll just realize that "okay, I did well..." :) After all, you reap what you sow.
Happy parenting!
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
In my opinion, it pays to know the word of God in order to be a good parent in the truest sense of the word. As you quoted Proverbs 22:6, I believe it is a must for a parent to know which is indeed the right way so that they should teach their children to go through it. And our basis of what is right is the word of God.
I'm glad I'm a Christian and my husband as wel and have gained the wisdom needed to train our child. As parents I know we should set good examples. We can't preach without practicing what we preach so we lead by example. I also introduced Jesus to my son. That is the most important thing. He should know Jesus and he should be saved. He is one of the only treasures I could bring to heaven so I must assure that my son is going to heaven. Therefore I diligently taught him what salvation is all about and when he reached the age of accountability I asked him if he is ready to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior and he did. From there I and my hubby started to feed him with the word of God by reading the Bible to him and bringing him to church where he could be fed with the word of God and he could worship and have fellowship with fellow believers. I think we have already done the best part of all. That of leading our son to Jesus. Without Jesus how could he ever be assured of eternal life. His life here is just a preparation. So we prepared him for the most important part that awaits him far and beyond. With that I think I and my hubby have fulfilled the greatest responsibility of a parent. Other parents could give all the riches, good education, and all things this life could offer, but without salvation for their children, their labor is in vain.
@seasons1981 (299)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I think I personally have what it takes to be a good parent. The reason behind me thinking this way is not from what I think, but from what others think of my parenting style. I have been told many times that I have a good idea of what parenting a child is. My personal opinion on how I raise my child... I just do the best I can, teach him what I can and make sure that he is raised to have the discipline a child needs in the future and to have respect for people regardless of race, religion or whatever prejudices there are out there. I think everyone has their own parenting style that best suits their situations and there is really no right answer. but this was a very good question and I think all parents ask themselves all the time if they are parenting their child right in the world we now live in!
@lady_cayote (153)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
yes I think so just thinking about the love and the ideas on how to raise my kids properly. But there's oner problem. That is if I have the right financial capability to bring a child up. I know it's a great questions specially when you want to give them the best of everything.
@princess010961 (16)
• United States
4 Nov 08
TO me to a parent is some one the gives their unconditional love and understanding. but is also a firm person and patient that way that child won't step all over you. All Parents are human and the all make mistakes but I think their is no perfect parent just parents that have given their all for their children and future. and that is what you call PARENTS.