She told me to 'shut up'

@cynthiann (18613)
Jamaica
November 4, 2008 10:09am CST
I was talking with my son this morning - just discussing our plans for the day and my 28 month old grand daughter told to 'shut up'. My son and I looked at each other in amazement.Then her twin brother sais the same thing. In opur house there is only my son and his children plus a lady who works from 12 to 8 pm to help with the children. She is a gentle spirit and would not say that to the twins. We decided that when the other grandmother has them sdome weekends she takes them to her mother and there are many children living in that home. I need helo from you young mothers. What is the best way to deal with this ? I just told her that what she said was not polite. I don't know how to handle this - been so many light years ago since I had two year olds around me. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Am I over reacting?
5 people like this
7 responses
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
4 Nov 08
It is best not to give a reaction to that and instead focu on something that is positve and give them atention for the good things. if they get attention for bad things at that age they will continue doing it
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 08
Yes, I do focus on good things that they do. They like to walk me to the car and hand me my bag and cell phone etc and I always thank them. I will ignore it and hope that they stop saying it. I'll let you know how is is going. I just didn't want them saying that when their Mother comes home for Christmas. Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@ASteward (120)
• United States
7 Nov 08
I would at least give them a stern acknowledgment that that's not a nice thing to say. My kids know about bad words like this and rarely say them to get a reaction.
1 person likes this
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
4 Nov 08
It might not necessarily the other grandma where she got it. Could very well be from TV. It amazes me to no end how much swearing and bad language habits are on display in those kid shows even for the little ones. Seems like saying 'shut up' is something very acceptable nowadays.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 08
You know, I did not think of this. They do watch kids tv but not much but this could be true. I honestly haven't sat down with them when they watch a show in the evenings. It is hard for me to believe this happens on tv. How hard it is for mothers to parent their children these days. How hard it is to shield them from wrong influences. YOu have a good point here. I will be more vigilent in th evenings.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
4 Nov 08
My daughter is only about 6 months younger than your granddaughter. She too has spit out the words "shut up" before. She learned it from me though. We have several dogs that always want in and out. I will sometimes yell at them to shut up when they are barking to get back out 5 minutes after they have barked to get in. There is really not much you can do except tell her it is rude and hope she stops. At that age it is kind of hard to undo.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 08
Thanks Lilybug, I'm sure that my children did the same when young but I think that when we get older our memory becomes selctive. We only remember the good things! I think this is why older people would swear that their children were perfect. How annoying for a young mother to hear! I do adore the twins and it is such a privilege that their mother would choose and trust me to help look after them during their absence. Thaks for your response. Have a good day,
• United States
7 Nov 08
Your grandchildren are probably just experimenting with new phrases and new words. My step son told me that he hated me and his dad because he heard it on TV. Children WILL say that stuff just to test it out...especially if they saw it being used somewhere else and it got a big reaction. All you can do is smack their little hand (lightly) and let them know that that language is not allowed in your house. If you aren't allowed to use discipline or if you don't want to then you should probably leave it up to your son. About the "other grandmother"; that is probably going to have to be settled by your son as well. God bless and good luck!
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
7 Nov 08
Thak you for your advice. I am definitely not going to speak to the other grandmother. The twins' mother will arrive in about 4 weeks so if anything, I will let my son tell her and let her act accordingly. I don't smack them, but they do have a naughty corner that is used very seldom. If one is put tin the naughty corner for anything for 2 minute the other twn joins the one in the corner. They are not hyper or anything and sometimes just distracting them will work. I had forgottin this methid until reminded by a posting. I've really enjoyed reading all the comments and thank you. Have a blessed day
1 person likes this
• India
5 Nov 08
Just ignore and in time she will forget. Kids pick up words from God knows where and until and unless they are old enough to understand what they are saying, its best to divert them and talk something better. I’m sure your grandchildren don’t actually mean ‘shut up’ when they say so….they are too young to understand the implication of the phrase. My own son, when 18 months, would use a local Bengali abuse and the more shocked we were (the expression on our face) the more amused he would become and then say the word repeatedly and laugh in joy as only a child can. After some days of shock and merriment, we just ignored him and very soon, he just forgot the word.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
4 Nov 08
This is for your son to handle as far as the other grandma goes. But in your presence you may say that "Grandma does not allow that word here. We never say shut up to someone. We say be quiet please." I've had to tell the neighbor kids the same thing about that and also OMG! I tell them that we are Christians and take offense to God's name being used in such a way. They really listen to adults!It is quite surprising. But if it's happening at the other Grandma's home then your son will have to take the lead on that. He should just tell her what's happening and let her know that this is not acceptable language for his children. He can just pass the buck by saying that it is probably the other children, but that she should set some sort of rule there. But as I said, that is for him to handle.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 08
Thanks for the advice. I agree it is something for him to handle - he was as shocked as I was. I should have known that her brother would say the same. Whatever one does the other one does the same. They are going again to the other grandmother this weekend so when he drops them off he can speak with her in a kindly way so that she can get the point. I am still a stickler for good manners and this ws so unexpected that I was shocked. I also hate it when children say OMG - just not acceptable. I have a community prayer meetings on Monday evenings. Really a women's support group but wwe have a topic and look to see what the Bible says about this topic. We end with a prayer before socializing and the twins came out and held hands and joined in the prayers. children really do live what they see. God Bless
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I'm glad to meet another sister in Christ! Blessings to you and those grandbabies!
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 08
I'm glad to have you as a friend too. Our meeting is ecumenical - we even have an professed aethiest who attends. She says that she doesn't believe in God but SOMETHING is making her come each Monday. I have refreshments from 6 to 6.30 and then we begin and end at 7.30/ All children are welcome and they climb on my bed and watch tv if the topic is not suitable or if a sister is in need og privacy. The children then join us for the closing prayer and we bless them too. My home is small - a home for retirement and I live in a gated communty. My house is a designated safe house for women and children. If a neighbour has problems then I will take the children. On the front of my house is a wooden sign that says "Cynthie's Place". This is my mission for the Lord. To help women and children in need.
3 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Thanks for the best response!! Has the certain phrase ever been repeated by the kids?
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 08
They only say it rarely now. We look at them in the eye(s) and tell them that it is not polite and we don't use words like that in our house! I'm letting the parents take over now but my DIL and I talk about everything regarding the twins. Blessings
1 person likes this