1 poem - 2 perspectives

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I am not an amazing poet, I do not write to think tweek every word and make it final and 'perfect poetry' I write for myself to get things off my chest and sometimes share them with others. This is my most recent one - split in to two parts - April is written from the perspective of someone else and October is written from my perspective. There is obviously a story behind it but am curious as to how people who don't know the story see it, what can you read in to it? Hope you like it. It is called 'M' APRIL: "All I have are hand written notes and a special thought about 'how not to let doe' All I have seen and tried to hide has changed the outlook I have on my life I know what it will mean to the people I leave But it hurts so much, I struggle to breathe. I don't need this situation to realise I'm loved Your pictures are always with me, which makes it much more tough Understanding and forgiveness. I know won't come with ease But as time does pass Please search your hearts, and be pleased I've found my peace" ------------------------------------------------------- OCTOBER: A different verdict has changed the reason The true outcome, may help their healing 8 months pass and my thoughts still stray I wonder and you watching them all pray? You were my mums close friend, You were my nurse There were so many people, with so much hurt Everyone remembering you well Everyone, their own story to tell Everyone is slightly differently affected But there's one thing that can make us connected Celebrate her life and not how she had to go So, Put a smile on your face, when you see your next rainbow