Does your partner stop trying once they have you?

United States
November 8, 2008 11:38am CST
I'm confused as to why it seems that a significant other stops trying to put their best foot forward, so to speak, after you fall in love... I remember how accommodating and sincere we use to be toward one another whenever we were in the courting stage... Then, it appeared as though until you get to a place of deciding whether or not you could stay together nothing changed... Why is that? Why do we wait until the threat of ending the relationship we seem to be selfish? The communication is not what it once was.
2 people like this
4 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
21 Nov 08
Some of it is normal. You do reach a point in a relationship where you are just comfortable and confident that the relationship is strong and is going to last. That comfortable spot is just awesome once you get used to it. The knowing that he will love you in sweats and no make-up just as strongly as when your all done up. The problem, I think, is that too many people get way too comfortable to the point of just not paying attention to the relationship itself. Both men and women do it. It is good to be comfortable but you can't just ignore or take your love for granted. Keeping communication open is real important. Romance is of equal importance. You don't have to work as hard as you did in the beginning but you certainly need to show your partner how much you love them and how important they are in your life...always. If not, the other person feels that you don't care and that is when things go downhill. I see so many couples where one person gets this but the other just does not. It really takes an effort and dedication from both to make the relationship work and stay healthy and alive.
@Shar1979 (2722)
• United States
21 Nov 08
I have no idea. I have had ex boyfriends who are like that. They put their best foot forward to make a good impression but once you two are an item...they changed behavior and they become animals. lol
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
9 Nov 08
people are on their best behavior when they first met because they want to impress and that also means the woman too, after they are together they tend to be their true self whatever that may be. that includes not jumping up to run to the store for your partner when you don't feel well just because he or she wants ice cream when you are together you can say I don't feel like it or I am too sick to go, why don't you go yourself.
• Philippines
13 Nov 08
Actually it still depends upon the person itself... but yes I agree that most of the time, that is really the case. Perhaps it is because the spark starts to go down and that the person involve starts to know each other that much... that they started to dislike each others differences and conflict of opinions and ideas.