Can You Recall when someone is Jealous about you?

Indonesia
November 9, 2008 9:07am CST
I have one friend, my colleagues at work. She is pretty, rich and has a higher position than me. Sometimes she is to proud of being pretty and rich (nothing wrong with it?) and her attitude started to make some of us sick of her.. Anyway these recently she suddenly always trying to humiliating me in front of other colleagues, she started to say that I am considered old because I am married, When I said I want to buy a bicycle for my litle brother she said she will buy a much expensive bicycle than I can afford for her maid, What the Hell... I never had any problem with her and so far our relationship goes well... As a women I had a feeling that she is jealous of me and tried to knock me down... I was chosen to be the organizer of staff party instead of her, I hang out often with some of our colleagues while no one ever hang out with her... I ask her if she have problem with me than we can solve it but she said nothing (without looking at me), I even said sorry if accidentally I hurt her feeling and I hope this kind of things will be finished because my workplace is just so beautiful and my colleagues are very friendly and I dont want it to be ruined.. Until now she still sometimes make me on the bad mood and of course she could always do that, because she is my superior (we are at the same age)... Could that possibly be jealous?
5 people like this
15 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
I guess this really shows that beauty, riches, and power couldn't suffice for the insecurities of out life. Is she single? Because if she is, she's definitely jealous of you being married. That's why she'd comment about you being old because you're married and she's not. Another part, I guess, that would prove it's jealousy is because you may not have her position, beauty and riches but you have friends (more friends than she could ever have and it's killing her, that's why she'd intentionally humiliate you in front of the other people. You could do 2 things for this one: 1. You could simply ignore the things she does. They say, the worst part you could do to someone who's hurting you is to ignore them. It's powerful they say because every one wants to be noticed, good or bad, they want the attention that's why they do things. Ignoring her would make her think that she needs to do better than what she's doing because it doesn't work. In the long run, she'd humiliate you more, or even look for ways to kick you out of the workplace. But, provided you didn't do anything, there are no grounds on you being fired. 2. You could play her own game by responding politely and gently humiliating her too. One thing you could do is whenever she humiliates you (most especially if she jokes to humiliate you, like that of the bicycle) then you'd reply by stressing what she doesn't have. A good sample would be the humiliating you because you're older even though you're same age you could say Well, yeah I am older but at least I have someone who loves me regardless my age and I have beautiful children who simply adores me. Being married is the best thing that ever happened to me! I tell you, it will fan the fire insider her. As for the bike thing, you could say Yeah, maybe you could buy your maid a more expensive bicycle than I could, but that's your maid.. My brother is my brother and he'd love me regardless how expensive or cheap the bike is. Well, I would really say that the first option is a lot safer. But there are times when you need to play fire with fire. I guess a mix of both would be best. Plus, stop asking her what's wrong, jealousy couldn't be solved by anyone else but the person herself. Stop attempting to be her friend because she just isn't. Let her deal about her insecurities. Eventually, she'd see that she's being a B!TCH. As for me, yes, there have been times when someone was jealous of me. I did both, and one time, the person really came up to me to tell me about it. I told her straight that I didn't do anything to provoke it, she has to deal with what she's feeling because I didn't see anything else she could do about it. I'm not doing anything to make her feel jealous. It's all natural to me, I can't help it if people like me better.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Nov 08
Gosh Laydee.... That is so good ... I think that is so right.. Yes she is single and maybe she is jealous of me being married, She still did that kind of telling me that I look old... Anyway someday I should say what you suggest about playing the game.. Because all the time I tried to be nice which sometimes I think it is not necessary and make her think she could get me.. Thanks laydee..
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
17 Nov 08
yeah I feel my spirit are so fire up now... I did tried to be nice to her (which I never understand why), so lets see what she can do if someone hurt her as well in a personal way..
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
17 Nov 08
Yeah.. You've tried being good to her and regardless what she did, you still treated her as a friend. Well, goody-two-shoes time is over, it's time to play fire-with-fire, hit her where it really hurts! and let's see who's really insecure now. =)
@iamcdy (1119)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
Hi afternoontea! You know what, I can relate to your experience. I think it is jealousy and the thing is, I don't know why there are people like these. They are just too proud and jealous. I also had a colleague at work from my previous job. At first, we were really close friends. We shared a lot, been to a lot of travels, thought we were best friends at work and all. That was when she was in a higher position than me. Although we were not in the same department, we always eat lunch and snacks together. When I was promoted to the same position as hers, she suddenly became far from me. She stopped talking to me and I have heard a lot of rumblings that she said about me, that I was just a favorite of our boss that's why I got promoted. I just couldn't understand how these things happened between us. Sometimes, I thought to myself that I wish I was never promoted because I lost a friend. One time, I heard her say that she has the lowest salary in our level and I thought, how can she say so without any basis? A year after my promotion, our friendship also faded. I tried to talk to her but she seemed not interested to bring our friendship back. I told her that every thing I gained from work came from hard work. Then I had to let it go. I realized that not every friendship ends happily ever after. I was even glad that I knew who she really was before I could trust her so much. Until now, that I left my job, my friends in my previous office told me that she is losing all her friends at work because of that attitude. She backstab her friends and doubt their capabilities and say that she's way better than them, including me. I guess we all encounter people like these. Let us just be ourselves and never mind them.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Nov 08
Thank you Iamcdy, I agree with you and glad that I know her before I trust her well. Now I just act as how I have to act as her staff and she is my boss, but I didn't treat her as a friend.. Why would I want to be friend of someone who will backstab me later with her attitude now...
@iamcdy (1119)
• Philippines
16 Nov 08
I completely agree with you. Just treat her as a boss and go on with your life in the office. Don't get affected. You can do it!
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
10 Nov 08
SHe's indeed jealous, because she has got no frenz.. lol =D IMagine how lonely she feels to be a superior, and that she has to draw a line between frenz and staff?? That's the thing she cant handle it well, and thus, she trys to make herself aloof.. PArtly is also because she thinks she's rich, and money should earn her some frenz too.. But as u appear, u make frenz just as easily even without the power of money.. lol =D SO she might be a little pissed.. Well, that's always the attitude of someone being rich and pretty, not they themselves dunno the real meaning of frenz, and how to be frenz ^_^ hehe MAybe u can offer to talk to her or take initiative to ask her out, after work ^_^ That should help to solve the problem slowly ^_^
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
18 Nov 08
Thanks Kun, but I think I am not interested in asking her out especially after what she'd done to me. I'll let her suffer from having no friend because she should never act like that...
1 person likes this
@avidwhit (1492)
• Mexico
9 Nov 08
Sure seems like jelously and envy are some of the most difficult things to deal with in the world. For others its money as well. Sure hope it all passes over soon! Happy lotting! :)
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Nov 08
thanks avidwhit... That is why I dont understand why she got jealous of me.. She surely have anything better than me, including the money... Anyway.. Thanks for your response, and I do hope this kind of things passes soon.. Because it is so uncomfortable...
@katrhina23 (1282)
• United States
10 Nov 08
jealousy, insecurities , envy .. whichever of these is how she feels i believe towards you. Some people just cant be happy for the happiness of other people. Even if they already have almost everything one could wish for, still they cant be happy. And most of the time would tend to get jealous of people that have less than what they have but are happy and contented. This is just what I dont understand. If I am on your shoes, I would stay away from her and just be with real friends. She is not being a friend for you with her insecurities and jealousy. A true friend is always happy for her friend and never feels that way. Enjoy your workplace and enjoy being with other people . Continue with what you are doing, have fun .
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
17 Nov 08
Thanks katrhina... Yes I dont understand her jealousy as well since she have everything that we could only wish... Anyway I never want to be her friend anymore...
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
You know there are people that are contented with what they have. People who are contented will never ever be contented. They always want what other have. Maybe she has a problem, first talk to her and give her your opinion about her and understand her. Or if you can't you can just ignore her or ignore what she says to avoid misunderstanding. Keep your distance to her.
• Indonesia
17 Nov 08
yay... I did tried to talk to her and she didn't even want to look at my face.. so It's enough...
@keya2468 (289)
• India
9 Nov 08
your friend is totally jealous of you. you know you will find many of thiskind of people around. now-a-days , in this world no one is happy to see other people's good things. I have met some people who are very jealous of me.in my high school,my college many friends were jealous of me. because my result was better than them.so these things happen in life.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Nov 08
Thanks Keya... Yes..some people are jealous when we did better...
@Melody1 (967)
• India
10 Nov 08
I don't know if its jealousy or just plain dislike. We think we are good in our own way,but others might not see you the same way. I could be behaving unknowingly in such a manner to make others unhappy and they feel they dont like me.
@baileycows (3665)
• United States
9 Nov 08
That is horrible she sounds like a totally B and she needs to be put into her place. And it sounds like money cant buy her everything she apparently has some issues deep down that she is not happy with herself. Maybe she needs to stop and think about how proud she acts and how stupid it makes you look. Ugh I dont know if I could work with that.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Nov 08
I couldn't work with that too... The more she jealous of me I feel like the more I wanted to show her how better I am compared to her in another way..
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
yay! She's one pathetic B! i had a terrible experience with an insecured B.. my hubby's ex gf has lots of insecurities in life...when she found out that her ex has new gf(that's me) she told nasty words about me.. cursed me.. what the hell! she's already out of my hubby's life so what the hell is her problem with me? poor girl! yay! hubby broke up with her because she's one abusive B!
@Lexus656 (672)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Well I think that my boyfriend was jealous over the weekend. It's not really the same kinda thing but I was online helping my cousin find a man lol as she says and he was getting upset that I was talking to these guys. He said that he wasnt but of course by the body language you could tell. But there was this class that I had in high school and it was a co-op class I loved my teacher. I thought of him more as a grandpa then a teacher. Well me and this girl had buddied up in the class and he let us do whatever we wanted to do all the time and that made a few of the other students jealous. I think I was late for that class and he never said one word all semester.
1 person likes this
@rvangeld (334)
• United States
13 Nov 08
I believe she could be jealous, I would say for you to not let her get to you. Just think that she can be alone and you can have peole you care about around you. She will always be like that so just try to ignore the comments, because will not change. Also, you tried to find resolution and it did not work, so I would say just forget it. It is too much stress for you to put yourslef through.
• Philippines
16 Nov 08
Yeah, when I had that dance in a bar. I got this pretty chick for myself and my friend were jealous of me. Well, that made me feel good a bit but it's bad to go beyond that.
• India
10 Nov 08
Yes i could recall one of my school mate! It was around my high school, one of my school mate was so jealous over me on everything. I don't know why he was so or that might be his character... Who knows. He used to keep on annoying me all time. He used to remember my marks exactly than me in those subjects where i scored more than him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Nov 08
monsters-in-law - My mean in laws who tok my honey away.
Oh yes.My monster-in-law is so jealous of me because I'm young,pretty,hip,smart and people like me.She treats me so rudely in front of other people as if I'm not existing.Well,she wouldn't matter.Besides being ugly,her attitude is also ugly.I know God will get even with them sooner or later for everything she/they have done wrong to me.