Please advice.. What would you do if you were in this situation?
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
November 12, 2008 6:29am CST
I have a brother around 5years younger than me. He's a good person as a whole, but he's weak when it comes to emotions. He can't seem to control his anger or moods. And because of this he can't focus enough to finish his schooling.
Recently, he's been having more and more emotional problem when it comes to his girlfriend of around 4years or so. Constant fights due to jealousy (on his side) and cheating (he confessed it to someone who told me that the girl cheated on him but he loves her still). Anyway, he's too focused on the girl and treats her like the queen. Doesn't see fault in her whatsoever and frankly, he's destroying his future because of making her his world too much!
I also have an uncle with this scenario, he's now with his family outside my country and until now very much a martyr for his cheating wife. She cheats in front of him but he's still stupid enough to love her more. His life is a disaster and no one could help him regain his life.
Now, I don't want that same predicament to happen to my brother. That's why as early as I'm trying to make a way to help him.
Have you ever encountered such with your friend? Family member or you yourself?
What should I do before it's too late?
I really would like to confront the girl, but I don't want my brother to run away or to do something stupid if things go bad.
He's already into anti-depressants and have already gone to the psychiatrist. I don't think it's helping much because he'd really leave everything else if the girl wants him to.
It's really too cliche, but I don't think it's love anymore. I think it's pure foolishness.
What should I do? Please do help.. before it's too late.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@comfort55 (1574)
• India
12 Nov 08
Have you analysed girl's behaviour? did you ever talk to her? If yes, then what type is she? If she is sensible enough and has a firm head on her shoulders, then you can talk to her openly. If not, then take psychiatrist's help for your brother.
@Margarit (3676)
• Philippines
12 Nov 08
It seems that your doing the right thing to help him and your doing pretty good. thank goodness i did not incounter this kind of behavior in my family or a friend but i consedered your situation. I would try to listen to him first and understand him why he love this girl so much despite all negative thing's she done to him. And try to look forward, what's the key factor that the girl has, that he is crazy about.. Some people that incounter great depression need someone that listen to them and be comfortable with, they often don't like the people that push them and dictate them what to do. They want to be understand.Normally they don't know why their falling in the wrong decision, they're not ready to face another pain, they always hide themselves because of fear of so many reason. And i wouldn't act drastically if your not that kind of person to him, because he may think it in negative side. I will take some time to gradually make him feel open not just you or perhaps someone else in your family that is aware of the situation. And always ready yourself to the situation that he might share. Sometime the truth is very hurtful but it is better to accept it and lern from it. I would try to considered his feeling and decision to him be responsible to what his getting into and be always affirm him that you always thier for him no matter what. This may not be best advice that works for your problem but i wish you goodluck and may God bless you always.
@LifeGuru (922)
• Canada
12 Nov 08
Well ask someone close to talk to him to make him feel better. I kind of have some emotion problems when I am ticked off, I become "the hulk" but not turning green and such... But I calm down easily by listening to music, playing an instrument to keep my mind off of what was bothering me, drew pictures, and sometimes I'd just talk to my own brother about what was bothering me.
If you're close to your brother, why don't you spend more time with him so he'd get over his girlfriend's actions. If it's constant for them to fight, then it's okay if they love eachother dearly, but if there is an imbalance in the relationship, and it's not working out, the smartest thing to do is to dump her before HE gets dumped, if it is for the best.
