Methods of breathing 1

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CHAPTER 1: THE GREAT FAILURE She has been defeated. She has never won anything in her godforsaken life. Everything has been frustrating her. She knew this would happen to her. She anticipated it as she had anticipated almost everything else that had happened. But she never did anything to stop them from happening. How could she when she doesn´t know how? She thought of it before, she is thinking of it now. Idly twirling her hair by the window, she lifted the cup of coffee to her lips. ´Coffee,´ she thought, ´slows down the absorption of calcium, iron and vitamins.´ Finishing that thought, she drank the cup to the last drop as if she needed it to survive. She is not a health freak so it would not have mattered. But coffee has been making her awake all night and all morning. She is addicted to the bitter sweet taste of it. She doesn´t need the effects it has on her. She doesn´t need to be alert or stay awake all night. What she needs at night is a whole bottle of sleeping pills to keep her asleep...to take her to oblivion. She looked at the pictures again. She has been staring at them. In the pictures were a man and a woman, a young couple. The young couple looks as if they were having fun. She glanced at the pictures again. They looked as if they were very much in love. She cast one last look at the mirror to check herself. One last distasteful look at the same face she has been looking at in the pictures. Once again, she´s defeated. And she has to convince herself that she doesn´t care. ¨Time to go to the wedding,¨ she told the reflection in front of her. She could not believe she is going there after all. (1)