Do I have a right to ask him?

@maean_19 (4655)
Philippines
November 21, 2008 2:24am CST
I have this friend from the chat room, who became my constant chatmate and caller. He works in the U.S. and me in the Philippines. He calls me up during his break time (between 2 -4 pm) and another call at night from 10 pm to 3 am at most. That was a call routine of his other than chatting online. We talk so much about everything and even share laughters. He would always remind me of taking my daily habits and say he cares, that's why. After 10 days with such routine, he did not call me up nor go online for three days. Until on the 4th day he called me up and said, "I called u up because I missed you". I asked him why he suddenly not calling me up and never goes online, but he just answered nothing and said it is secret for now. I continued asking him why he sounded like so sad, and he just said, "you'll know why when the right time comes. After that call, he promised to call me up again at night. And the next day, I had a missed calls because I was then taking a bath. We now talk a little. From the usual long hours to minutes. I did ask him if there is something wrong and again he just said it's secret. Lately, he was acting so strange and am concerned. I recall him saying "he loves you" and I had no idea whom he is referring to as "he". When I asked him "who loves me" then he suddenly jokes me "your boyfriend". He knows that I do have a boyfriend. But, am sure that isn't the real issue. Last night he never called me up even this afternoon. Am anticipating he will call me up tonight and ask again if there is something wrong. Do you think am overacting or overassuming that there is something wrong?
3 people like this
4 responses
@ryezon (15)
• United States
21 Nov 08
I dont understand why you want to play with this man??? You have a man already dont string along a stranger.Dont be so cruel stop pulling his heart strings.What about your man??? your hurting them both. Get yourself together and do the right thing.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
I want to correct that am not playing with this guy. Am not even fooling his heart and same is through with my boyfriend. During our first conversation, I told him already that I have a boyfriend and I never showed him my interest that I would be breaking up with my boyfriend . Is there something wrong making friends and to talk with someone other than my boyfriend? Please don't get offended with this.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
Hi there! It seems we were going far from the real issue. We have not discussed about feelings here or that the guy had feelings for me. Besides, I do not want to assume that he has since he never tells me anything.
1 person likes this
@ryezon (15)
• United States
25 Nov 08
I get that you told him you have a boyfriend.But does that mean shame on him if he has feelings for you??? So your response to him would be some thing like "i told you i had a boyfriend, How dare you develop those kind of feeling towards me"?????
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
As far as I know, you are no longer clueless since he already made a confession to you. And you are losing him. Good guys are always linked to women who are already taken. Hope for the best, my friend.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
8 Jan 09
Oh yes, am no longer clueless, but it seemed like he is avoiding me now.
1 person likes this
@kissie34 (2294)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
Well, its ok if you asked him since you are just concerned about him.. Maybe, he is not yet ready to open up to you about his problem or what's bothering him.. Maybe, just try to understand him and stop asking him so many question because he might get irritated since he don't like answering your questions.. Just wait until he is ready to open up with you.. Well, if you have a boyfriend then maybe your boyfriend had chat him or call him and told him something that makes him bother so much.. I don't know its just an idea.. I think he is already giving you some clues but it seems you didn't mine all of those clues.. Try to figure out all the things that you've said and he had said maybe you will be able to find the answer.. But if you think you didn't say anything that could hurt him or something that can bother him then just try to understand him and wait until he is ready to open up all his problem to you.. Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
Am trying to understand him that is why I did not forced him to know what was he referring as "secret". However, what concerns me is everytime I open up a topic he would change it because he said the topic is related to the secret. Which made me more confused and ends up more clueless. I don't think my boyfriend would speak to him or call him up. They do not know each other. I cannot recall either that I have said anything that would hurt him. He is the one who left me with something to think about.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 08
It is ok to be concerned about his change of routine but I do have to question some stuff. First, why is the change? Second, Why are you seeking another person as a companion in that you have a boyfriend? Some people consider this emotional cheating because you are probably conversating with him and telling him things that should be reserved for you bf. Just some things to think about.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
Change of what? routine? At first he said, he stopped calling me up because he wanted to think about things. That wa vague right? Ok, your second question, I am naturally a conversant person. I love discussing with people with different types. Perhaps, it so happened that among my chatmates then, he met the qualifications of a conversant person too. That was actually the start. I am not saying that I do not talk with my bf. We do talk and chat everyday too. And i guess, there is no cheating involved since the guy and I never talk about us with intention to commit or let us say a mutual understanding. That is why am asking him if something went wrong so that we know what to avoid and prevent than leaving me clueless, right?
1 person likes this