How do you handle bi-polar disorder?

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I am 28 years old and I have bi polar disorder. This disease is very hard for me to handle sometimes. I am prescribed medication for it but I don't take it due to the fact that it makes me gain ALOT of weight and blow up like Shamu the killer whale. I've always felt like something was really wrong with my mind and I was diagnosed in 2003. Since then it's been a really long and hard road. You go through ups and downs with this disorder and lately the depression and anxiety have been really hard for me to manage. I am planning to go back to the doctor and ask if there is a medication that doesn't have such a severe weight gain effect, but in the meantime I feel like i'm going crazy (probably because I am). Some days I don't want to get out of bed at all and don't know what to do with myself. I know a few people with this same problem and nobody that I know who has it finds it easy to deal with. I must imagine that the suicide rate with this disease must be really high. Sometimes I have the feeling that life really isn't worth living anymore, but I have to remind myself that it's the illness and i'm sure that my kids really wouldn't appreciate not having me around later on in life. Do you know anybody who has bi-polar or do you suffer from it? How do you handle it?