Family Matters, every holiday, of every year sucks!

United States
November 24, 2008 12:30pm CST
Every year the holidays come up, and I'm never happy, for either thanksgiving or christmas, sometimes even on my birthdays. Me and my mother have never gotten along, she kicked me out of the house when I was 17. she and my brother are the only close family I have in this country. But since her and my mother in law got in a fight, my mother never comes to dinners, or any of the holidays. Anyway I just had a baby November 1st. In the room where I was staying after the delivery, we are a few moments from leaving and we are talking about family, and how I have different ways of raising my children. My husband says something about sometimes you need to be strict with your children, my mother says "well you left home with your now husband because I was too strict". I look at her and say no that's not the reason why I left, and than she has the nerve to ask me why I left. I have absolutely no idea what her issue is. My mother got kicked out of her house at much younger age, and everytime we go back to my country, she scolds my grandmother with the issue. I don't wanna be like that with my mother. I'm at the point where I just don't know what to do. We haven't spoken since I had my baby, we will speak again soon. I would never stop talking to her or just completely avoid her. Its just that meanwhile my holidays will always hurt. What would you do in this situation? any kind of words or advice would be helpfull.. Thanks.. :(
2 people like this
3 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32255)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I never thought holiday's with my grandmother were anything wonderful. She would always ruin them, and sometimes I might have thought she ruined them, but I was just spoiled. I do know, however, that every holiday she had to bring something up with someone. Everyone in our family, just knows to take what she says with stride now, and laugh at it (even if to themselves) as she always tries to do something to make the family upset with her. I used to try to fight it, fight with her, but I stopped doing that. I call it my "mistaken rebellion" because I was amongst the wrong crowd and while they didn't influence me with words, the understanding I thought we shared was false. I'm no longer friends with those people and treasure family. The only words of advice I could give you is to just be as nice to your mom as possible, ignore what she says that hurts you and be who you want to be, raise your children the way they want to be raised. My mom always told me to ignore my grandmother, I listened, Now she's told my aunt and she's listened.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Nov 08
Thanks, your probably right, Its just that everyone else is there at the holidays except for my side of the family. My mother and brother, they are never there.
• India
24 Nov 08
Family is the most precious relationship that ever had. So keep it up. Family members are very friendly each other. Husband and wife is the most best relationship in the family life. they are well known each other. express their feelings frankly..
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I am sorry to hear that you feel this way about the holidays. While the holidays can bring joy to some people it can bring anger and hurt to others. It isn't always easy to get along with family. I would say to try to stay close with your family unit. You might be having some issues and uncertainties now but you just had a child. You want to cherish these moments and bring your child up to appreciate what is around her. I wish you luck and just remember to at least count the blessings that you have.