We Had A Talk With My Parents

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and it didn't go so well. Of course I clammed up as usual out of fear of telling all of how I feel. Yes I'm scared of them and I wonder why!! Mom and her guilt trips and dad and his changing of subjects. Anything we say goes in one ear and out the other but I did tell them this, that anything my brothers say is gold but anything I say means nothing to them. Do you know they didn't say a word on that? Nope, not a word and yeah it hurt!! Damn right it hurt!! I told them that not trying to throw anything in their faces but the fact that we've been there from the get go and my brothers haven't helped at all except for one who's given monetary help to his son so he could pay the rent.... BIG DEAL!! They didn't help find their house, they didn't help them move, they didn't help paint, they weren't there when mom went down with the stroke AND my nephew's dad isn't helping with keeping his son in check while living in mom and dad's house!! They've done NOTHING. Oh excuse me, the money must be more important... maybe I should try that route next time. YEAH LIKE I'M RICH!! But isn't running all over the damned place when mom was down count for something? Cleaning their house, running errands, paying their bills, grocery shopping, trying to keep my own house and grocery shopping, running errands, paying their bills keeping hubby happy by seeing me every now and then... now I'm talking "US" time for he's been beside me the whole way. Now here's the deal, mom insists that she'll be fine and she wants me to go up and help dad. I give up, FINE. If she falls or has another stroke, so be it. My hands are tied but we're not going when dad goes because hubby has an appointment so the trip will have to wait a few more days. We did manage to talk dad into going up there with his trailer and getting a load of his stuff out of the shop, get a quick look at the house and get the supplies that we'll need and go back home on the same day that we're coming up so that way mom won't be alone but maybe 2 or 3 days AND hubby and I will only be a half hour away when dad is gone. Her next door neighbor is going to cook dinner and bring it over to her. We'll see how that pans out.... So I'm doing their bidding once again. Now dad had said that my nephew might come by and help and that's when I almost went off!! I told him that I have a few choice words for that SOB if he comes! Dad got the hint and said he'll tell him and his dad to stay away because dad has come to realize I mean what I say and I've had enough!! I've taken all I'm going to take and that's it and they better not come by there while I'm there or all hell will break loose and I mean it!! Dad started his bs by saying "I wish we never moved or that house would sell" bla bla bla and that's when I said for the first time, "Dad, I don't want to hear it." The mistake is done. Now I have something to tell you both, my brothers are saying, "It's their fault" as if they've never made a mistake in their lives!!!! I know that hurts because they shouldn't be saying that but they are and I think it's high time you know. I've kept it to myself all this time but I can't hold it in any longer. I've told them that they've made mistakes and that you two have stood by them all the way but now that you make a mistake, they blame you when they should be helping you instead of blaming AND like that's going to solve anything." They were so hurt by that but damn it all, I had no choice. They both put my brothers on a pedestal and it's high time they get knocked off!! Then mom started getting teary eyed and started with her "I hate seeing my kids fight" and that's when I told her that "If they can speak their damned minds, then by God so can I" She stopped her guilt trip right then and there and said "You're right, you can speak your mind especially if they can speak theirs and you're no body's door mat." She found out that the guilt trip isn't going to work this time so she gave up. We couldn't talk about everything that we wanted to because it started raining and temperature was dropping so we had to get home or be caught at their house staying the night and THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN so we left. We got home safely but a few slips on the road scared us silly but we got home safely enough. But do I think we got through to them? HELL NO!! Why? Because we get to talking about one subject and dad would change it and we'd eventually get back to it but nothing was REALLY talked out like it should've been so no I don't think we got through their thick heads!! To be honest, with or without the painting, I hope that house burns to the ground. I'm so dead serious!! I've hated that house for so long that I wished they had moved when I was living there and they wouldn't. The memories I have there are horrible!! I can't remember happy times there because the bad times were so often, more so than the good. I'm sure there was some good but I just don't remember them. I HATE THAT HOUSE with such a passion it hurts!! Well that's basically what went down. NOTHING! I'm going to have to let it go and do what I can at the same time, put it in God's hands and let it be His will. In other words, what happens, happens and that's that. Now to turn this into a discussion for mylots sake, have you ever been through such an ordeal? If so, how did you handle it?