Is the world "I love you" Misused today?
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
Canada
November 27, 2008 12:48pm CST
Today we watch movies and we see two individuals who meet and over a span of a few days they profess their love to eachother. I have a kid sister and it seems whenever I turn around she's professing her love to some different guy she met 1 day 1 hour ago etc. I never tossed around the word Love like it was a rag doll as I wanted it to be used in the proper context. I see teens for the most part using I love you and I wonder to myself. Do they really know what this word means? If you were to ever ask a teen they would argue you till their blue that their in love with John boy over there. Then a few weeks later they break up and a few days after that they are both dating other people, and the cycle goes on.
I'm not saying this is true with all teens but I often wonder do they really know what love is? I feel the word I love you is beyond a doubt misused not only with teens but even adults. What do you feel about this statement? What does the fact that this word is more often that not misused say to you and make you feel?
3 people like this
19 responses
@Purtle (274)
• United States
27 Nov 08
I am a teenager myself, I'm 16. I see it happen all the time.
Most teens do not understand true love.
Almost all teens mistake Love for Lust. It kind of bothers me. I myself have never had a girlfriend although I did have one online relationship so I guess you could count that.
1 person likes this
@Purtle (274)
• United States
27 Nov 08
I think you could very well be right with infatuation.
One of the reasons I have never had a girlfriend is because I don't believe they understand what love really is.
I mean you could go and say that I don't because I haven't had a girlfriend or something like that. But I would tend to disagree.
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
27 Nov 08
I wouldn't say you don't as I don't know you etc. and that's why I said it ruins it for those who really do mean it.
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@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
27 Nov 08
I agree with love over lust. However I would go one step further and say they mistake love for infatuation. I feel it's not right to pin point it to one age group but I have seen it happen mostly with teens. Which bothers me as well because they ruin it for the ones who actually do understand and for the ones who do mean it.
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
I've said it to three guys and meant it every time. the first one was mutual, the second one the guy broke up with me for saying it because he thought he had to say it right away and if he didn't that meant it should be over. (we dated for 7 months etc) And the third time my fiance ended up saying it about 2 months before I said it to him.
It's true that we must love ourselves before we can love another. :)
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
you brought up a good point in 'cheating' and I'd like to extend off that and say that. Those who spout love for the sake of it end up cheating themselves out of the true feeling of love. Sure they'll find it but I really think when that time comes they feel a little cheated that they didn't save that word for when they actually would mean it and or feel it.
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
28 Nov 08
There is nothing wrong in saying I love you to anyone. The problem arises if the other person does not respond in teh same way. You may be seriously in love with the perosn and may say I love you sereiously and sincerely even if you have known the person for a very short time. remember love conquers all else, but it requires that the other person too must respond in a similar manner. If both profess their love to each other and stick to it, then it is wonderful. Love is a very funny thing. it thrives on response, but a slight carelessness can break teh trust and the feeling too.
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
Actually I disagree. I think love happens at different times for people. I don't think that because one person says I love you the other should do so at the same time. Love takes time for every individual. If love had to happen simultaneously my fiance and I wouldn't be together. He loved me 2 months before I ended up loving him. There's nothing wrong with saying I love you when the time is right. I feel your theory on that is why people misuse 'I love you' because they feel pressured to say it.
@eynjel05 (444)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Probably, nowadays the word I LOVE YOU were being misused especially for those people who are not that serious with their relationship. But then in every rule, theres always an exemption. Maybe some teens just say that word so that they can please their partners. But for me, that word is to be use in a right way. Because when you say I LOVE YOU to a person you mean it.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
I agree there are always exceptions to any rules. Good for you for using it when you mean it :) thanks for responding. Have a good night :)
1 person likes this
@bellebads (740)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
based on my observation, i would say that " i love you" is overly misused. the reason behind this is that, when i see people now a days they use the word over and over again even if it's not proper to say it. like for example i overheard this to some girls talking and having fun, girlA was accidentally spill out her coffee to girlB and so automatically girlA say sorry. and this is what exactly girlA said " oh, i'm sorry, please forgive me ,i love you girl!!" is it really necessary to say i love you in such kind of accident? another incident, a teenage girl is asking a favor from their houseboy to fixed the faucet in her room, after the houseboy finished fixing the faucet he let the teenage girl know that he is done and she can use the faucet again. then the teenage girl said to their houseboy, "thanks you so much for doing it for me, love you!" huh?!
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
Kinda like it becomes desensitized to it and it becomes an every day word.
I've seen I love you said in accidents as well and I have to say the look on peoples face after they say it is pretty much priceless.
1 person likes this
@lalchetian (410)
• India
28 Nov 08
Actually feeling when one says 'i love you ' is mismatched(with words) today lol
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8688)
• United States
28 Nov 08
I love my kids, truly love them. It took a matter of growing up and looking at things in a different way to make me realize I've never been in love. I've been in lust, like and in awe, but never truly in love with someone. I'd rather someone say they like me because you can love someone and not like them.
@irishidid (8688)
• United States
29 Nov 08
Have you ever met that couple that no matter how many times you see them the man is never happy? Or it could be the woman. They are grouchy, constantly sour and you can't understand what she sees in him.
When I was married it didn't take me long to realize I didn't like my husband. Of course I tried to make it work, but it just wasn't going to happen. If I had liked him it might have been different, even if I never loved him. At least I would have enjoyed being around him.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
Hmm that's an interesting spin on things. Now when you say you can love someone and not like them.. could you elaborate. I have never equated my love for someone as anything less than liking them at the same time. I guess I personally find it hard to understand loving someone while not liking them. Interesting topic you bring up. would you mind elaborating I guess I'm a tad confused.
@nlcapricorn (1114)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Well the meaning of love is so broad and most of the individuals are just playing LOVE. It so easy to say it by mouth but it so difficult to do it or prove it. I can observe people around me who are just playing love..They have so many boyfriends or girlfriend and all of it they will say I love you..You are the only one..isnt that a crazy thing that you are a liar to everybody? Not even to them but to yourself? I have a lot of friends like that..and I really hate what they are doing with thier lives. Is so sad to say that people are just PLAYING instead of making their life a serious one.
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
Ahh you bring up the quote that I made up a while ago.
"Say it but don't speak" I am a firm believer that it's always easy to talk the talk, nto so much to walk the walk. With that being said actions speak louder than words. Showing love is such an amazing thing to do and such an amazing thing to feel. A caress of the cheek a mere look into eachothers eyes. I love being able to say I love you through utter silence.
It's interesting that you use that term playing love. And in a way your absolutely right. It's like when little kids like to play house. They can try to mimic the life style the feeling but rarely is it ever close to what actually happens.
Cheers :)
1 person likes this
@Hyakkimaru (436)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Yes, specially teens today get easily fall in love. It makes me sick saying I love you in instant. Well.. for me I will revise this to "I wanna marry you and be my partner for the rest of my life" ^^.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
hahah I love that last part because it's soo true :)
and it does make you a bit sick doesn't it?
1 person likes this
@julise (494)
• Indonesia
27 Nov 08
Ii think you're right. Its missused by a lot of people. But I never said I love you to anyone accept to my family and dogs (hehe... I'm a dog lover). Anyway, for me saying I love you have to be to someone thats right, someone we really love.
I never meet someone like that in my love (hopefully will be soon), but I said I like you to my previous boyfriends... I can't say I love you to them, coz I just don't feel that way.
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
27 Nov 08
I'm a dog lover too :) Just havn't gotten our puppy yet. I wish you all the best and that perhpas one day love will find you :) It's good to see someone who hasn't just said it for the sake of saying it. Good for you. :)
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@chaolai (162)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
The phrase I LOVE YOU is such a powerful language. People knew how to say it but few people knew what it means, thats why the misconception of this language was over used. Maybe time would tell them how, when and why they need to say it. Maybe it is not yet time for them to know and have the power of it. happy mylotting!
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
that prhase you just said.. put a hallmark on it hahaha and put a copyright on it. That's a very good description. You said everything I tried to say in basically 3-5 sentences where mine took me 3 paragraphs haha. thanks.
thanks for responding
1 person likes this
@satishvarma142 (302)
• India
27 Nov 08
ya its been misused these days,,and there are true lovers also...but we should be very carefull while choosing our partner..we sholud make confirm he really loves us and take further steps
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
27 Nov 08
I fully agree. And it's not to say that it hasn't been misused in the past as it obviously has. But I've noticed an increase trend on the word. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@rcfranz (180)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
true meaning of love? thier isnt a meaning its just something that is meant.you know your in love when you all you do is think about that certain person,when you dream about that person or when you care for what happens to them,they will mean a lot to you when you are in love you will know it.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
There's no one definition no but I do tend to find it hard to believe when a 13 year old professes their love for someone a week after dating them and then end up breaking up a month later. I guess that's what I'm getting at.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
28 Nov 08
Young love!! it can be a wonderful thing. I doubt anyone knows exactly what it means. Because everyone has a different view of what love is. For a young teen its butterflies in the stomach. For a mother its being proud of your child. It means so many things . So there really is no definition
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
For the type of love I'm referring to it's along the lines of relationship love. Not love for children or family but love for a boyfriend or girlfriend. There is a definition for the different types of love that there is ie. for a son daughter, mother and father, also there's a type of love you feel for someone that isn't the same as the love you have for relatives and friends. That's the love I speak of the type of love you have for a boyfriend or girlfriend.
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
me as a teenager then..I never say just i love you to someone else and if somebody told me that they love me..well, i just leave them..Do what they want to say..i don't want to say i love you too with them why? because i don't want that somebody will expect. and the word i love for today for teens is not much of value to them. mostly the feeling falls under infatuation which they misunderstood as love.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
My question to you then is why would you leave someone if you weren't saying I love you back? Would it be because you wouldn't think you could fall in love with them or just because at that point in time you don't feel the same feeling as them?
@mokbul (616)
• Singapore
28 Nov 08
Probably you are right, the sentence 'I love you' is grossly misused. It is not only teen but I have noticed matured adults misusing the sentence as well.
In many occasions the sentence used for material gains or some achievement, in some cases the word would mean better by 'I like you' rather that I love you.
It is the person who is using the sentence to judge that the situation is suitable enough to use the sentence 'I love you' or some other expression will be better.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
I agree it is misused by Adults. I have a friend who is 28 and did the same thing as my kid sister did. I also feel that love tends to depend on the maturity of the individual. My friend may be 28 but a lot of people think she's 18 (not because of her looks but in how she carries herself and acts).
I like how you said material gains or an achievement as this is usually the main reason why it is used with adults. I give teens a little bit of a break on this one as there isn't much to 'gain' from saying it. I think they more or less confuse love with infatuation at that point. But when your an adult I think by that time you know darn well the context in which your saying "I love you"
It sucks to realize that.
@firefoxanis (1)
• India
28 Nov 08
i disagree with this..that depends on our soul thought..well if a brother says this statement to his sister or brother it give the mean of genuine love between brother and sister... so it all depends on the way of our intellectual characters and perceptions...
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
no no I am speaking from a sense of boyfriend girlfriend love.(sorry I should have specified) Love for a family member is different and it's hard to explain unless you've felt those two forms of love. I love my parents and my brother but the meaning behind it isn't the same as when I say it to my fiance. Those types of love are different and I don't think family love is ever misused I think romantic, boyfriend, girlfriend love is.
@meow1978 (190)
• Malaysia
28 Nov 08
Misused? Maybe to most of the people. To me, the three romantically word should mean with sincere and pure heart. I know most of women love to hear these three word but to guys, it will be hard to say unless they use it to cheat. If a men really love his partner, he will not say it often because he will only say it when is necessary and when he mean it. To women is different. She will not get bored to hear the three word "I love you" even though it is say a thousand times a days from someone she really loved...
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
This I agree with. However I disagree with the men part. My Fiance tells me he loves me all the time. Spur of the moments, when he hangs up the phone, when he kisses me goodnight. The way he sees it is he wants to take every opportunity to tell me he loves me when he feels it. We both go off of the theory if you feel it either show it or say it. So he does both by giving me a warm hug and tells me he loves me. I never think he always says it out to gain or because he's cheating though.
