Is It Really LOVE? men/ women-- can anyone tell me?

Your right. Abuse is never a show of love. But does the abuser love the partner in the relationship.?

I would really not know what the answer to that. Maybe for him that is his way but then it is still wrong and can never be justified as love for me.

See I don't think so either. But you know, in every relationship they always say. I LOVE YOU. I guess so the abused will stay. Huh?

I don't think you are harsh at all, you are stating an opinion and that keeps the discussion going. So therefor, I would like to thank you. I would like to ask where you read that I justify people who are abusing their partner? The fact I state it can be because of an illment or because they were brought up that way wasn't intended to make people think I approve of this behaviour; by no means, it's horrible. What I meant to say was that people who have been in abusive relationships can sometimes repeat that behaviour or because of their upbringing. Their are people who say it's ok to spank your child; do they love their kids less? I say no, never ever spank a child, but if I say someone who spanks their child doesn't love them I get a whole lot of mad responses (spoil the rod, spoil the child, etc). So I think this is kind of the same matter, even though we are talking about far worse things like abuse. The way I see it you have two types of abusers: - The ones who don't know any better - The ones that don't want any better The outcome is the same for the victim, and I would never want to justify that. However, I do think the people of the first kind are more capable of change because deep down inside they do feel love but don't know how to build a healthy relationship. I hope I made myself more clear. If you feel a different way that's fine, it's allways nice to get a different point of view and start rethinking why you have made up your mind a certain way. It helps us grow. Thanks!

Note: I'm not making a statement that people who spank their children love their children less, it's an example. I thought it might illustrate my point of view better on the topic of abuse.

I don't mean to sound harsh at all. And I definitely wouldn't want to hurt your feeling, or anyone else's. But I'm gonna say That your wrong to say that it is justifiable to abuse because they were brought up that way. Or because of a mental illness. This is not love. If you were a man, and your father beat your mother, that doesn't make it okay to beat your wife. That makes you mental to think that it's okay, if your the abuser. And if your the one excepting it or know someone who is get them help. Thank for your response.

You know a lot of time they truly are mental. That is the sad truth. Which is still no excuse. The victim needs to always remember who they are, and stay focused on that. If they ever loose sight on there self of self worth, the abuser has them in there hands.

I agree. There are too many times when someone says love, but yet hurts that person. So, I think we all should all watch more on how we treat those we love.