Does anyone know real love?
By JoeBrat
@JoeBrat (77)
United States
December 1, 2008 7:31pm CST
Everyday over and over again I watch couples separate and get with someone else. I watch people cheat on the ones they love. I hear the sorrow of the friends of mine as the ones they love openly have relationships with others. All this pain is inflected on the people they say they love. It was a mistake or I didn't mean for it to happen, I was drunk, or I wasn't thinking. Yet there is no excuse for hurting the one you love.
Maybe in time we get bored of the ones we love and we seek adventure in finding someone new. Maybe we love the excitement of falling in love with some one or we just simple fill our determination for lust. We lust and dream of another so much we lose track of reality and take action. Never feeling the regret till it is to late and the pain is caused.
At times I feel as though true love is only a fantasy. We fill our hearts with emotion for someone we confuse it for love. The unconditional power of true love is greater than that of all love. This connection can't be broken.
I say if you love someone or even feel as though you might love someone don't do anything you wouldn't want them t do. Also if they wronged you don't try to get back at them. They might not handle it as well as you did. If you don't feel your mistakes in your heart before you make them then maybe you just really are not in love.
So if you have found true love that has been returned back to you with no slips please share. If you have been hurt please share. Help others to see the signs befor they are hurt to much by falling in love with the wrong person.
Take Care,
6 people like this
15 responses
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
2 Dec 08
I have been with my husband for over 7 years now. If I tell you that the love is the same as it was back then I will be lying to you and the world. If I say that I love him less I will be lying again. Our love has changed I dont know if that is called real love or true love or whatever you want to call it. Our love changes all the time and I will try and explain. At first it was love with pasion a young love. Then came the part when we could not stand been apart and deciding to get married. Then with pregnancy I started loving him in another way seeng his soft fatherly side of him with his confused actions and funny things he did I fell in love with another side of him. As my son grew up and watching him interact with his son another side was shown and I could not help but fall in love with that person. Now that we are expecting another baby he is showing another side of him caring for me, cleaning and helping me, making sure our son is looked after. So in other words people change all the time, every new situation in our lifes changes us and I have learned to love every change in him and with that fall in love with him over an over again.
2 people like this
@misscarin1983 (81)
• Canada
2 Dec 08
After many times being hurt and trying to find Mr.right,i finally did,i can honestly say i love him with all of my heart.Nobody is perfect,and i think thats why most people who cheat think,that there is someone perfect,somthing better,but there is no such thing as perfevt,everyone fights,eveyone lies once in a while..it's these things that make life interesting.Before i met my husband,i was searching so hard for the perfevt guy,everything had to be just how i wanted,but when you really get to know someone you find things that you don't like very much.I have finally found the man i want to be with for the rest of my life.I will never cheat on him,and i know he would never cheat on me!We love eachother soo much.Neither of us are perfect,we do argue sometimes,and we don't always agree,but our love is real and we remind eachother of it all the time.
1 person likes this
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I think some have misconceptions of true love or just love itself. There are going to be disagreements, times that you argue, times that you get mad and yes times that you wonder if it is worth it.
My answer to that is YES it is. I think I have found true love, we have been together 26 years and married 24. In fact we just renewed our wedding vows this last April. It was kinda weird as it was him that wanted to, I was fine as I was. LOL!
I see that you wrote, "So if you have found true love that has been returned back to you with no slips please share". I have to say I think that there is always some problem or some slip in all relationships and that does not mean that it isnt true love or real love. Things happens and to me if it is true love, you will work it out and find yourself and your loved one working it out so that you can move on as a loving couple. Love goes thru stages too, love changes the same as people change.
My heart still flutters when he kisses me, I love looking into his eyes, even thou they are older, wiser and yes even have wrinkles now.. LOL!
We have had our problems but I think that is what has brought us to where we are, knowing that we do love each other, that we miss each other when we arent together for awhile and it has also made us respect, appreciate each other and what we have. So yes I think I know what real love is. It is our love for each other!
1 person likes this
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
2 Dec 08
I have been very fortunate in that I have found my true love. It took me a while and I have been through heartache to get here but now that I am there is no chance of me doing anything to jeopardize it. To me that is how you know it was true love.
In the past when I thought I was in love I went and did things that would hurt the one I was meant to care for the most. It wasn't until I found my true love that I realised all my loves before hand weren't real which was why I did the things I did.
When you have real love and you know your love is true then you just don't do those kinds of things
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
2 Dec 08
I think that the problem is the existence of so many possibilities around.
People are getting more willing to try things, and at some points there is a mix between things and human beings.
People have feelings, that's not another cell phone ot ipod that you switch just because you got tired of the same "envelope".
There is no commitment.Only "let's take chances".If this does not work the way I want, than I'll just take another one.
Life is not like this.If you don't make a commitment, don't give a chance and try real hard to make something work, you'll be without satisfaction.
Satisfaction is something that you receive after trying hard and succeeding.
Relationships are the same - you have to give a chance and try hard to make it work.It's hard, and gets even harder after kids are born, but there is nothing like a good ending.
There's always a word said wrong, or a gesture, but we have to try to go beond and feel what they feel.And talk to them.A lot.
1 person likes this
@JeztheNun (90)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I think that, in order to prove love, you have to be able to define it, and that's just impossible. I have no idea what love feels like to you or her or him... I only know what it feels like to me. I've questioned the "reality" of my love for people many times throughout life, and I've come to the conclusion that I really have loved everyone I've ever thought I loved. I've also come to the conclusion that love doesn't have to be forever to be real. Some love lasts long after a person is gone, and some love fades before it ever really blossoms. New love, old love, puppy love, family love, mad love, shadow love, random love, and abandoned love (Thank you, Warren Zevon)... they're all as real as the next to the people who feel them. I'd rather believe that all love is real than assume that no love is real.
An ending doesn't mean a loss of feeling. It means a lack of something. As much as I love The Beatles, I don't believe that love is all you need.
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
2 Dec 08
Hello, JoeBrat.
True love. Should be every man's biggest quest. In my opinion, true love between two people is really rare. Couples may get married, and they seem to be really happy together. In fact they are. It seems like nothing can break them apart. And then time starts acting. Ten years later, they are together just for the children. They cannot stand one another anymore. They are sick of the life they are taking. How many times haven't we all seen or heard about this?
Love, the true love, may come in different ways. True love like mothers who would do anything for their children. True love that you feel for your life, if you do. True love that you feel for a brother, a sister. True love shown by nature everyday. There are many forms of love. It doesn't happen only where there are kisses and beds. It happens in different ways, like when you love a friend and you care about somebody.
It is pretty hard to find real love. True love does exist, though. But, to find it, everybody should start loving their own life. Be grateful for what they have today, in order to be able to receive better things tomorrow.
Respectfully,
Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
@Liveon17 (81)
• United States
2 Dec 08
This is an excellent discussion topic, I think about this all the time, I don't believe many people honestly know what true love is. Though I am young I believe I have found my love, we have been together since I was 15, I'm almost 18 now. I know alot people believe that is too young to have true love, but age has nothing to do with it. Most relationships end because one or the other gave up on each other, I promised I'd never give up. I love the man I'm with, he is the most charming man I have ever met, my family loves him, I love him. He is there for me through the good and the bad, we talk about everything no matter how difficult the situation is.
In strong relationship you must be open to talk about everything, be there for each other, put each other first! and NEVER give up.
1 person likes this
@swatilohani (745)
• India
2 Dec 08
I think you have to work very very hard to attain real love.
For example, My mother was so much in love with my father that she always waited to have dinner with him if he was in the town coming early or late. She had so much intuition that even when my fater was a good hundred meters away from the house, she recognised and announcd in the living room to us to heat up dinner as Pa was coming.
So, you say this is one exception of a loving couple. Wrong, this was a couple that fought and fought and fought but was still in real love as they always made up the next day and taught us kids very early n life the power of forgiving and moving on.
1 person likes this
@chaolai (162)
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
yeah, i agree on your view. i have been inlove too, i tried to fought for him, be good to him, and be a good partner as well. but in the end i still cried maybe because i gave my all he was just not contented. but the funny thing is i already tried to let go but he still keeps coming back, i know he was really meant for me. thou i've hurt alot of times, it is just a part of loving being hurt at the same time. if you dont feel it youre not loving but your just using!happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@xtaticsaint (50)
• India
2 Dec 08
I appreciate what you have typed in here and agree to you to great extend...but when it comes to love...there is no wrong person...in fact the very act of loving should be rewarding...the trauma slowly sets in when we attach our ego the the object of our love. Be it a person, or an animal or a thing or a situation...whatever...the moment we knowingly or unknowingly attach our ego to the object of our love, the trauma begins to set in. The moment the child becomes mine...the girl or guy becomes mine, the Rolex watch becomes mine, the parents are mine, the county is mine, the country is mine it should be in my control and pertain to all my wishes regarding it, and this what love means to me. The fact is I can never own any thing in this world and that truth manifest when the object of my love behaves in ways that does not conform to my wishes. If it is true Love I must be able to let go. And so the best approach is to practice detachment from the very outset...confront the fact that I can never own anything or person in this world... and to think in terms of what's good for the one I love. Pretty Tough! It calls for a lot of de-conditioning, de-programming. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@rebecca7783 (123)
• India
2 Dec 08
wow... tough question Boss..!!
after all you cannot c love. all you can do is feel it and if thats the question then it is a YES from my side. I have felt true love and am still in love. but speaking the truth its really difficult to maintain true love dear... its not only difficult but also quite hard to get true love.
@ladybug24 (18)
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
i can't testify what true love really means. at this point of my life, i know that no matter how mad i am, i couldn't stay mad at him. no matter how i want to hold on to my anger, whenever i see him, i've lost my pride. i even act as if i wasn't mad but i let him know that i felt bad about what happened or what he did. everything becomes history and i don't know why... i understand that because of our differences, we disagree and argue sometimes. but at the end of the day, we are still holding each other's hands. i used to ask myself if he really loves me because he barely express it in words. but i've come to realize that he really do because his actions are loud enough to say he loves me and even more. in fact, i find it a lot better than spoken words because it is a justification of itself. no more questions left to be ask.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
2 Dec 08
What you write here, could have been written just for me. I do not want to go into too many details but reading this I see the situation that keeps occuring in my life, not on my behalf but on anothers and maybe I should show him this too.
