What Is Something You WON'T Tolerate In a Relationship?

United States
December 2, 2008 12:51pm CST
I am human and was born on earth, so I should know that there's no such thing as THE perfect relationship, but there are lines that should never be crossed. I can get along with anybody, be the greatest friend, the best wife, the best person etc., but one thing I could NEVER tolerate in any relationship is violence. I'm a person NOT a punching bag. Last time I checked, punching bags didn't talk sleep and poop. There are other things too, but I'll save that for another discussion on a rainy day. What's something you WON'T tolerate in a relationship?
28 people like this
117 responses
@munhozmib (3840)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
2 Dec 08
Hello, Miraclefreebies! There are something that really are unacceptable in a relationship. I really dislike when somebody starts saying they know it all. Something bad happens to you, and you are sad, and then your friend comes and say: "I already knew it was going to happen.". What in the ...!!! If he knew, why didn't he warn me? Why didn't he help me? This really gets me on my nerves. You are there, all excited, to enter the final match of the soccer championship in your school. You start playing, you play with all your heart, and then you lose. And then this friend comes and say: "I already knew you would lose". Damn, where are the supporting friends? Friends that will only push you down are not friends. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
8 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
I know what you mean. The "I told you so" speak isn't exactly what a friend needs to hear. It doesn't sound like a supporting friend to me. Good point.
6 people like this
@suzzy3 (8349)
2 Dec 08
I won't tolerate violence ,heavy drinking and being put down all the time or being taken for granted.As my husband does none of these except may be he does take me for granted then I do him as well sometimes,and of course being unfaithful is something I don't think I could get over.
• United States
2 Dec 08
I couldn't tolerate unfaithfulness either. I could forgive but NEVER forget. I could NEVER take him back after that.
5 people like this
• Pakistan
3 Dec 08
Same is the case with me.i can;t even toleratr my husband being unfaithful.i don;t know if i can but i have thought of simply leaving him in such a situation.And about violence i think every wife does become victim of violence verbal or physical.she may not even know about it but....she has to accept it as her fate.
5 people like this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Cheating and any kind of verbal or physical abuse. I will never ever trust a man who have cheated before. Once done, they already have a record, in my opinion. And abuse, I will never let anyone do that to me or any loved ones.
7 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
Interesting point. Appreciate you stopping by.
5 people like this
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
I agree with you.Well,nothing's wrong with my guy.His parents are the one who do that to me.
3 people like this
@makingpots (11916)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I think that I couldn't tolerate manipulation in any form. (I consider violence a form of manipulation). I have dealt with it in some friendship relationships and it is so tiresome and disrespectful. If you can't accept who I am and how I live don't be a friend with me.... I can accept that, but don't pretend to be in need for attention, or control situations so that the outcome is in your favor. Be a stand up person, say what you need and want and deal with it when we disagree. Phew..... thanks, miraclefreebies, I needed that.
7 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
Go ahead my friend. Express yourself. Take a deep breath. Lovin it.
5 people like this
@makingpots (11916)
• United States
10 Jan 09
Thanks for the best response, miracle.
• India
2 Dec 08
its cheating cheating and cheating...
6 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
Woe! I got the point. It's cheating.
5 people like this
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
[i]Hello rajeswar4u, It is also cheating that I can't accept in a relationship. Regards.[/i]
@myklj999 (51026)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Cheating. If you cheat, it's over. No second chances. I will not be made a fool of twice.
6 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
That would be one for me too. If he loves me, he won't cheat.
5 people like this
@Reeta02 (136)
• United States
3 Dec 08
This is mine too...definitely no second chances. The trust would be gone and therefore, our relationship would be over.
@ersmommy1 (12595)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Abuse is at the top of the list for certain. Once we pass that, infidelity. It is cheating and lying rolled into one. That can permanently destroy trust. And end a relationship.
6 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
Same here. Thanks for your reply.
5 people like this
@gicolet (1703)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Hey what you wrote there is true. I will not tolerate violence either. There are 2 more things that I won't tolerate in a relationship and that's irrational jealousy and dishonesty.
6 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 08
Good answer. Thanks a lot.
5 people like this
@AmbiePam (57003)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Verbal or physcial abuse. And there are no second chances for physical abuse. He hits me once, I'm outta there. I'm not going to be one of the people who constantly think that person will change, and that it will only happen that one time. As for verbal abuse...I'll give him a break. One time is bad, two times and I'm not coming back for more.
5 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 08
Good point. I like your answer. Moma didn't raise NO fool huh?..
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (57003)
• United States
3 Dec 08
Amen!
1 person likes this
@mlh8087 (370)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I agree with you. No beating, hitting, kicking, and so on. When the woman says no then it means "NO". If anything after that occurs then it has become a crime. It doesn't matter if you're married or not. Cheating on each other is a big no no also. There is nothing wrong with looking, after all, we are only human. One can look but don't even dare to try it on.
• United States
3 Dec 08
A no no is definitely a no no. There's no excuse in the world for violence or cheating. Tell it like it is.
1 person likes this
@savak03 (6692)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I am a very trusting person. I try to see the good in everyone. The deal breaker for me is lying. It doesn't matter if the lie is big or small or what the reason for it is. If I ask you if my behind looks big in these pants I'm not fishing for compliments, it's because I really want to know the answer. And if you will lie to me because you think it will spare my feelings I have to think you'll lie about more important things as well.
4 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 08
Hehehe! I know that's right! I agree, lies are always lies any way you look at it.
1 person likes this
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I will not tolerate any sort of violence in a relationship, that means physical or verbal abuse. If our disagreements can not be settled verbally, putting your hands on me will not solve it either. I am not tolerate of excessive drinking. I do not drink, I do not deny others to drink if they do, but getting drunk is not tolerated in my relationships. Cheating as well is a biggg NO NO.
4 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 08
You're right. That's also goes for verbal abuse, it's just as bad as physical abuse. Good answer.
1 person likes this
@littleone3 (2065)
2 Dec 08
Something that i will not tolerate in a relationship is mental or physical violence. No one should have to be anyone's punchbag or have to put up with being constantly put down all the time. I also would not tolerate cheating as i have seen first hand how hurtful it can be.
• United States
3 Dec 08
Right on! I agree.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 08
Two things I definitely will not stand for are violence and cheating. I had been with someone for about a year until I found out he had cheated with the mother of his son, and stupidly I gave him another chance, and yet I found out afterwards he had cheated on me with her almost the entire time we were together. It's not a situation I care to ever happen again.
4 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Violence is definitely something I won't tolerate. But neither will I tolerate hatred of any kind, dishonesty or lying, or even unkind behaviors. It's never right to laugh at someone. It's never right to lie, or cheat or steal.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 08
Well said. None of those things are right. Thanks friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 08
violence and cheating, I might forgive someone for cheating once, I believe in second chances, but if they cheat again IT IS OVER!! Violence I would not tolerate
3 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 08
You are a very forgiving person. Good for you! As long as they keep their fist to themselves huh?...
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Dec 08
If she ever cheat on me once I'm done with her,simple as that.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Dec 08
That's the attitude. Keep it simple and blunt.
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
4 Dec 08
cheating and lying i can not deal with.sleeping with a family member oh no and iam not going to deal with a man whipping my behind iam just not going to stay with a man under these conditions period.
@Monki883 (54)
• United States
4 Dec 08
I definately would not tolerate any type of abuse,physical or mental. or cheating,,once a cheater always a cheater. and once a beater always a beater.
3 people like this
@sndgr3 (3)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Things I won't tolerate in a relationship is lying. If you feel like you have to lie to the other person than you don't need to be in that relationship in the first place.Tell the truth. If they love you, they can handle it. If not then, you can't and don't need to be together any way.Especially when you have been together for several years there is no reason to feel like you have to lie.