I am a bit afraid to meet new people...

@sdas86 (6076)
Malaysia
December 3, 2008 11:36pm CST
Hi, I am afraid of meeting new people because I do not know how I should act or talk when I meet new people. All I can do is to smile to them. So, if I am going out with my friends, and my friends bring some of his friends along, I feel weird and uncomfortable. Do you feel afraid to meet new people? How do you solve this problem?
9 responses
@Bebs08 (10687)
• United States
5 Dec 08
hahaha!! this is funny now!! don't be afraid to meet new people. It is the chance to meet new friends and maybe your future partner. don't be so conscious and shy. Just relax, take a deep breath and smile. Put it in mind that they are also human like you and they have weaknesses too. They are not better than you, you are both the same. Good luck.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
Hi, Thanks for your advice. Next time, I will take a deep breath and try to smile and talk too. Thanks.
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
hi! i used to be too shy before because of my strict upbringing. i'm still a bit shy until now but i learned how to overcome it whenever there's a need. before, when there's a party at home i'll just sneak in the kitchen to get a plateful of food and a drink and just stay in my room until the party is over. during family gatherings, i'd slave away in the kitchen rather than meet friends my sisters and brothers brought home for us to meet. i wasn't much of an outgoing person and i still am. but that changed when i started joining social clubs in highschool. during college, i worked part-time as a tutor and i encountered kids much more shy than i am, and i coax them out of it by bringing out the kid in myself i guess. i was never afraid to meet new people but what i was afraid of was not knowing what to do when i was with them. but with kids you can't go wrong. hanging out with kids will bring out something inside you that is raring to go out. you did the first most important thing to do to communicate...SMILE. that's half the battle already. :) next is putting a few words here and there. you don't have to be always the talker, sometimes being a listener is good too. pay attention to people. ask questions, it will never hurt to get information that way... so you'll know next time. try to remember their names, if possible. lastly... relax. i found out that there are no strict rules on how to speak or act when meeting new people. just be yourself. if you are naturally shy, then so be it. it isn't a crime to be one. people don't bite on their first meeting. neither on the next and the next. people are just people, some are introvert some are extrovert... meeting different people is an exciting adventure, so look forward to it instead of worrying about it. when i became i trainer, i dealt with a lot of people. when i became a speaker in conferences, i dealt with more than i could really handle. i deal with people, but you know what? i'm still my shy self inside. :) so just be you.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
Hi, I am shy due to strict upbringing too. It is very hard to overcome it but I will try my best. Thanks.
• Philippines
6 Dec 08
hi again! thank you for the BR. :) very much appreciated. i like the fact that eventhough you mentioned you are shy, you took the time to add comments to your responses. that means you really want to reach out to people. just continue to do so in persoon when you meet people. :) you can practice on kids if you have younger siblings or cousins perhaps... until you get comfortable to talk more and interact more with adults. don't worry, it may take time but you'll be able to do it. gooodluck! :)
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 08
Thanks. I will try.
@armrd829 (74)
• Singapore
6 Dec 08
Hi there.. I sometimes face the same problems like you do. Sometimes when i meet a certain people i just cannot start a conversation. I don't know if it's because i dun have the necessary skill to interact, or because i'm rather biased. I still don't know how to solve this problem, though I have tried to talk more to people nowadays. I learned to speak up and interact more with people when i was working for a while. It was a good experience. I think we just need to think less and just do (speak up) straight, but of cos up to a certain limit.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 08
Yeah, sometimes, I cannot start a conversation with new people. So, all I can do is to sit there and look at each other and smile. I feel that I am very stupid in my social life.
• Singapore
6 Dec 08
I think you're not alone. Just got to be more natural to others. I'm sure we can find some people who can relate to us. Or otherwise we need to tune ourselves a little. Cheers.
@JenInTN (27548)
• United States
7 Dec 08
All of us are shy and insecure in one way or another..no matter how strong they seem on the outside..they are not so different..they put their pants on the same way you do every morning.You'll never have true friends unless your are yourself when being with them.If they don't like you for who you are..they are not gonna be true friends.Be yourself...you have alot to offer.Remember that when meeting new people.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
8 Dec 08
Hi, Thanks a lot. You are right. Everyone is the same.
@jesbellaine (4156)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
Don’t be afraid to meet new people in your life. People come and go in our lives so grab every opportunity to know the people around you. Who knows.. that person will affect your life for the longest time… and I hope it is for the better. I think you should try to relax and be confident about yourself first before meeting new people. Start it with your friends, talk and mingle to t hem then it will come along. Happy Mylotting and Holidays! Cheers!
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 08
Hi, I think I am extremely lack of confidence. I do not know how to boost my self confidence and it is hard for me to express myself verbally properly. Maybe I use the computer a lot and my talking skills are becoming so bad.
• Australia
5 Dec 08
I can understand you sdas, i'm exactly like that and the most i can get out is a smile. People usually approach me first to talk as i'm too shy to approach anybody. When i'm with friends i let them do most of th talking cause sometimes i find it hard to think of something to say. I can't express myself very well. I'm afraid to meet new people especially when i'm alone and sometimes avoid eye contact. I haven't figure out a way yet to overcome this problem but when when i'm motivated enough i try to greet the person. Til now i still prefer to stay in my room when there are people in the house.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
Hi, Yeah, I only know to smile to new people. I do not know what topic should I start to talk about. I think that both of us need to expose ourselves to more people so that we will learn more techniques to talk and socialize. If we always keep ourselves away from people, we will become too shy to talk.
@chandu245 (647)
• India
4 Dec 08
Ya friend i am also the same personality. I like to meet new peoples, but i will fear to talk, i don't know how to behave and how to talk with them. Every time i felt in confusion.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
Hi, It is hard. Sometimes, I am confused too.
@veejay19 (3591)
• India
4 Dec 08
I am quite the opposite of what you are. I am not shy nor afraid of meeting new people and i have the knack of making friends out of strangers easily.Infact i love to meet new people. Twenty years back i went for a job in one of the gulf countries.It did not take me long to make new friends who from being complete strangers became fast friends and i am still in touch with many of them. Just last month there was a get together at my house in which a number of friends whom i had not met since leaving that country all came together and we had a jolly good time.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
Wow, you are a very sociable person. I am not very good at socializing because I am a quiet person and I do not express myself very well. Sometimes, I don't get what other people mean and when I re-think about it when I am at home, they are just teasing me. So, it is quite hard to get along with new people.
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
It is perfectly normal to be a bit awkward when you are around people who you are not close to. It is acceptable to say the least. You just need to be casual about it. Don't try to avoid contact with them as at one point or another you would have something in common to talk about. As long as no one's getting offended, you can just tag along and see which things you could get comfortable with anyway. Take it easy, maybe they feel the same way too and is just looking for some way to break the ice, per se.
@sdas86 (6076)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 08
Hi, Thanks for your advice. I will try.