tell me what you think of my poem
By italysmom
@italysmom (308)
United States
December 4, 2008 12:47am CST
its called angels above
look above
what do you see
are they stars
or are they angels lighting our way
twinkling down on us
beautiful eyes staring down
watching our every move
the good ones and the bad ones
when we take the right way
we get alot of happiness
when we take the wrong way
we get alot of sadness
what way are they telling you to go
can you tell
what way are they telling me to go
its so hard to tell
just hope and pray
each day
that you will
find the way
look above
what do you see
are they stars
or angels lighting our way
I love to write poetry.. i am just a bit insecure about my poems.. all of my friends say they are good.. but i would like to get the ideas of other people.. no worries of hurting my feelings... i would just like to know if i have any ability...
THANKS!!!
3 responses
@tumenoa (58)
• Uganda
4 Dec 08
You have a talent in poetry. I like your poem, it is nice. However i will tell you frankly that it is too plain to be called a poem. If you where to join the stanzas and the sentences, some one would still be able to derive meaning from them. Poetry is supposed to be compact with compressed meaning and rich interpretation. you are too free with your words and i think that if you were to find a word that can replace many others and which has different meanings, you would do well, coz poetry is meant to be interpreted differently by individuals. yours is plain and the meaning is one to almosy everyone who reads it.
@italysmom (308)
• United States
4 Dec 08
thank you for your opinion... I will attempt to work on that
