My mother was always depressed at Christmas

@cynthiann (18613)
Jamaica
December 5, 2008 12:25pm CST
Since I became an adult I noticed that so many mothers get depressed at the one time of the year that we should be so happy and joyful and especially peaceful. My mother got depressed at Christmas and it sometimes affected us children so much. I think it is because mothers tend to think that it is their responsibility to make sure that everyone has a great Christmas and they do too much and get overtired. What do you think?
2 people like this
6 responses
@hildas (3031)
8 Dec 08
Sorry your Mother got depressed at Christmas time. I am up and down myself at the moment. I think I have too much to do and it is really hard to cope with. I am not looking forward to it and wish it was January. I used to love Christmas time but I think a lot of Mothers get no help and want it all to be perfect for their family. Maybe they are trying to hard I dont know. I really feel like running away and I have not even started wrapping presents. I usually have everything done by now but I really do not want to face it all this year. I have told my husband but he works long hours and he will help, but I really feel like booking a restaurant as Christmas day and all the people is scaring me.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
8 Dec 08
You are so right. The problem is that motyhers want perfection and they feel responsible for everyone to have a wonderful Christmas. Try taking a deep breath and start writing lidsts. Get your 12 year old to do all the wrapping (except her gift). Or spend extra and put into bags. Get the children involved with the list of things to do in the house and then you could tell them how you feel and how they could help to make you feel better. YOu have to ask you are not super mum! Well - you are super mum but super mum needs help. You are going to have a wonderful time. Thank you for posting and let me know how the list is going! Thanks for responding
1 person likes this
@hildas (3031)
8 Dec 08
Thanks for that great idea. I think I will get a lot of gift bags this year.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
10 Dec 08
And get a take a way or get the kids to make sandwiches christmas Eve - do not cook but prep for Christmas Day. Make everything that you can - even gravy. Add the drippings from the meat last when you heat up the gravy on Christmas Day. You can even par boil potatoes before roasting if that is on your menu.anothet ip I always do is to lay the dining table for Christmas Day dinner on Christmas eve. It's all the little things that can take so much time. Remember to get the kids to take pat in the work so that Mum too can have a wonderful Christmas.
16 Dec 08
Hi cynthiann, i found ur message because i was typing in that i got depressed at christmas and wanted to know why! as a mother of 3, i do agree with what you said. as a single working mum, you always worry that you can give them enough! I said to my elder 2 children, 20 yrs and 18 yrs old, that i didnt have much money this year, they both said the same thing, "mummy", Tayler (there sister 10 yrs old) she is the one that counts now because she is little," bless them, no matter how old they are, or how much you give them, a little goes a long way, and lots of love goes even further!! Merry Christmas xxxxxx
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
17 Dec 08
You have a lot to give at Christmas and this is because you have a lot of love in your heart. The best gift that we receive is that God loved us so much that He sent His son so that we may have eternal life. If you have a job then you ae ahead of the game as nearly 2 million Americans are now without jobs. Your daughters are right - look after your youngest child the best way you can. If you can spend TIME with her that day with your daughters too just playing a board game or something. The greatest gift is love and ou have that in abundance. Have a wonderful Christmas my friend.BLESSINGS
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21018)
22 Dec 08
Hi Tippy, Welcome to myLot, I am a single mum of three children myself with two girls 22 and 17 and a young son of 4 and I have said similar to them and they responded the same, don't worry about us sort little one out and he has already been gift giving bless as he was one of the kings in his nativity play. Merry Christmas. Huggles. Ellie :D
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
5 Dec 08
Yes according to statics the most sucides takes place around the holidays especially around Christmas. One reason is as you stated people get depressed becasue they are not able to deal with the burdens that they place on themselves during the holiday season. They are not able to afford gifts and other things they want to get their loves ones and they just sink into a depression and find it hard to shake.This can easily happen.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Dec 08
Im a mother and I am depressed for that very reason
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
7 Dec 08
I think Christmas is hard on a lot of people. Christmas has turned into a holiday about getting stuff. If it is hard for a mother to afford the things for her kids that she thinks she should, then it can lead to depression.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
8 Dec 08
YOu are so right here. As mothers we want to give them all that they want but doing so means that we can deprive them the anticipoation of earning or saving for something really expensive. With a world recession and so many people are going to lose their jobs this coming year it would be silly to spend every last red cent on gifts. There has to be a balnce. Thank you for responding my level headed friend.
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
7 Dec 08
I think it is how they were raised that accounts for mothers getting depressed. I used to get depressed around Christmas until I realized it was because every Christmas my father used to lay it on me at what I had done wrong, and I was lucky to get anything for Christmas, then there is the preparation, cooking the turkey or the chicken, and the potatoes and making the salads, while everyone else is having fun. This time, we are going to our sons's houses and we will not have to worry.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
8 Dec 08
I'm always amazed at how much our childhood affects our lives as adults. We all have to learn to deal with it in someway or another. We all can remember the hurtful words that we received. Have a wonderful Christmas this year and thank you for responding
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
10 Dec 08
Thanks for the best response. I always hated to get a list of things I had done wrong all through the year. I wonder if my father thought he was - who was that guy who accompanied St. Nicolas and put coals in bad children's stockings?
@ellie333 (21018)
22 Dec 08
Hi Cynthiann, Emotions are always heightened at this time of year, mothers these days work as well as keeping the home and both need more energy input in the weeks leading up to Christmas, they then usually have all the responsibility of thinking what to get for who and then finding the time to go get and wrap and then the baking of cakes and goodies and making specials decorations with the children. It all takes its toll eh! Christmas has become so commercial that the real meaning of celebrating the birth of baby Jesus has been put to the back ground in many peoples lives and it is all materialism and who can give the best present. Huggles. Ellie :D
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
22 Dec 08
We never had much money but we had the Christmas spirit and enjoyed saving our pocket money to buy little gifts. The problem with my mother was that she wanted to buy big gifts for her nieces and nephews just to make an impression. so there was always this huge row with my father because whatever he gave her it was still not enough. This always amazed me as they usually received better gifts than we did! her priorities were not in right place. Blessings