Why not LOVE a FRIEND?

Philippines
December 6, 2008 7:54am CST
I always ask myself, why should I look for another if I can have a friend to love? A friend that knows you very much would be a very comfortable companion. Someone who knows your tantrums, strengths and weaknesses can better understand you. It is so wonderful to love a friend; someone you know that would consider hurting you as the last thing he/she would want to do. But it is also difficult to love a friend. A friend told me that she will not want some close friend to be her boyfriend because she doesn't want they are too close for comfort. But another friend wants to have a friend to be her boyfriend. As for me, I want to love a friend. I realized that girls look so far that they can't see that a friend is already loving her. I sometimes don't understand them. But why not love a friend? I always believe that marrying is choosing someone to be with you forever. It means you want a lifetime partner: a true friend that will always be there with you whatever happens. I don't mean that my conception of love is true to all but this is what i believe in.
2 people like this
8 responses
• China
7 Dec 08
Hi, I don't think it very goood to love a fried, only if u know he/she would also love you. because sometimes when u tell a friend that u love him,but he doesn't love u ,u will be very sad, and also he will feel uncomfortable to meet you. then maybe you two will embarrass with each other. and that's not a good thing! so i think it's not better to love a friend. he he ~~ that's just what i think .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
There are cases like that but think of this, awkwardness should not end your relationship as friends. Even there is a tension and shyness at first, these should not hinder your friendship to continue. Do i make sense? A true friend understands. It is not so hard to fall in love for a friend. It just so happens that it is not always that two friends have the same feelings for each other. But loving is a choice. Being with someone should not just be based solely on spark or romance, see the compatibility and if that relationship sustains for a lifetime. Well, thank you for the response, appreciate it much.
• China
7 Dec 08
er, you are right, trully friends can not be broke up ,just for these awkwardness. maybe try to love a friend is a good thing, it's better to marry with a friend who you love than someone else. appreciate your words, thanks!
1 person likes this
• China
7 Dec 08
Hi lloydbelleaza to love a true friend? it's hard i think.LIKE is better. it is also hard to find a true friend in real life as well....... i do not know but that is my feeling...seems you are interested in her as well?do you want she to be your girlfriend? haha...i think you want to..but seems she is too cool to any boys. try your best see happen...might be you are the lucky one.if you do not try you never have a chance,but if you try still there 50%.go go go hey do you believe in we can find our true love on line?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
If I will have a girlfriend, I surely want her to be a very close friend. With regards to the question on finding true love online, I think love can be find in any means and that doesn't exclude online dating. As long as you meet and get to know more before getting into some serious stuff, then I guess, you can find true love online. But that is just rare nowadays because as we know there are so many fraud and fake people over the net who just want fun and make fun of people. You just have to be cautious and careful of who you're dealing with. Thanks for the comment.
• China
7 Dec 08
yeah...we have to be careful what if we decide to make true friends online,especialy lover...as you said,we do not know if that is fake or not... while you think you start to love her or him,but fainly you found out that is not right person you are talking to,that is sad.... good luck
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3850)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
6 Dec 08
Hello, lloydbelleza. I do agree with you so much! It is way easier to fall in love for a friend. Somebody that has been with you for some time already, and that knows you pretty well. As you said, somebody that would not hurt you nor do anything to harm you. A good friend is all the companion you need. It would be amazing if two good friends fell in love. I have fallen in love for a friend, but she said she doesn't want to be with me because I'm too close to her. That sucks. If she fell in love with me we could be so happy, since we already know each other very well. But no, things aren't always the way we want it. Anyway, love between friends is the kind of relationship that lasts longer. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
Well, thank you. We have the same opinion with this matter. Here, here.I think that girls are just fearful of the things that may happen like breakup, or misunderstanding and the other painful things that may happen to an average couple. She may be too cautious and does not want that your friendship be ruined because of crossing the line. But you know what, I agree with you--that she could might be happier now if she chose to love you back. I mean, romance fades but true friendship doesn't. I believe that being together cannot be sustained by just romance and the "spark" they call. I want someone that I know will be with forever. And if she is a true friend, I can be assured that most likely our togetherness will be forever. Thanks for the comment here. I appreciate the honesty very much.
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3850)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
9 Dec 08
Yes, since real friends will be friends for a long, long time, there would be no fear of being apart. Things might not work as a couple between two friends, but they would still be friends, not losing the friendship because of the love life.
@bcote212 (1113)
• United States
7 Dec 08
I think that it is important to be friends first with the person that you decide to be in a relationship with. I do understand that there are some people who do not consider their partner to be their friend as well as their lover. I however do. If I cant trust someone as a friend then I defiantly cannot trust them as a potential partner. So if you think that you can find love in one of your friends then I think that it is possible as well, and don't let anything stop you from perusing any person that you may be interested in.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
I would consider your comment here. That is very true. The trust you found in a friend can also be the trust you can find in a life partner. Indeed. Thanks.
• China
7 Dec 08
Yes, a true friend is always around you and choose a friend as your boy or girlfriend is perfect, but sometime friends may not have sparks. That is important. Of course, if your friend is your right person, you are lucky enough!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
I guess you are right. Lucky you are, if you found a life partner in a friend.
• United States
7 Dec 08
I don't think there's anything wrong with being in love with a friend. Sure- you could tell them and then they could be incredibly awkward around you....but they're supposed to be your friend, and a friend wouldn't do that even if they didn't feel the same way. If you're in love with your friend, go ahead and tell her- but make sure it's somewhat special, and that she knows you're sincere. Us girls are strange like that...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
I think you're right. A true friend will never go away from you if you confide love with her. There may be some awkwardness at start but eventually it will just go away. If that person is not willing to love you back, then it's okay. That is still your friend at the end of the day. And you're right again, it is a matter of sincerity of the feelings. Thanks for dropping a comment here.
• China
6 Dec 08
There must be some difference between a friend and a lover.A person can be treated as a friend ,but can not be a lover.You could talk a lot with your friend,even sometimes talk about something deeply with him or her.But when he or she becomes your lover,you are not able to talk about the same topic to some extent.Because when he or she is just a friend of yours ,even a close friend ,when you are talking about something together,both of you have no intentions.But if you're lovers ,things are different.You or the partner have some intentions.Therefore ,when a friend becomes a lover,the friendship might change.So it is understandable that some persons don't like to turn friendshio to love.
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
I get your point. Some people think that way. But is it not nice to be with someone whom you know that knows you so well. I think that kind of feeling of awkwardness is just an initial reaction because suddenly there was a shift of relationship (as they thought). But i think otherwise. Loving a friend for me I think is just choosing the BEST friend you have. The one that you know you can live together with for a lifetime. That's what marrying is all about for me. I respect your opinion and thank you so much for the response.
@cyberfluf (5004)
• Netherlands
9 Dec 08
You realized that girls look so far? I think both guys and girls can oversee someone close loving them because they are looking too far. Also, one can discuss what looking to far is? Looking close can also mean that you are 'settling for less' because you have a good friend, and at least they won't cheat on you. That doesn't mean they would make a good partner. I have some wonderfull friends who I wouldn't dream living with: it would be a living hell! So I don't think a good friend makes a good partner persé. Also, when you are out looking for a partner I have experienced you can attract the opposite of what you are looking for. It can make you look needy and funerable. If you are just having fun, have a good life you will run into someone and love will grow. How unfortunate it may sound, love can't be pushed or created when we want it too.