When Friends ruffle you.

@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
December 10, 2008 4:28pm CST
Are you a sensitive person? Do you become ruffled with every comment you consider a slight? If we are going to end a friendship every time we feel that way, we may soon find ourselves very much alone. We can always make new friends of course, but sooner or later they will ruffle us as well. The fact is most people rarely mean to upset us and we need a little more tolerance. Learn to forgive easily, not only will you keep your friends but it will have a positive affect on your emotional and physical health.
2 people like this
11 responses
@baldie (74)
• India
10 Dec 08
i learned long ago that nursing grudges against people doesn't achieve anything. Nobody is going to hang around long enough for a grudge to wear off. Life is too short and good friends too few to squander away. If someone says or does something which bothers me, I point it out to them at that very instant and then I forget about it. Forgiveness is an important quality and one that is rare. I agree, forgiveness helps you keep your friends and also keeps your mind clear and healthy.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
10 Dec 08
Hi baldie, Thanks for that great response. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 08
..."forgiveness".. So true! and humor! I think humor makes all things run smoother!
• United States
10 Dec 08
Actually, when friends throw barbs at me, I enjoy it. It gives me a chance to be witty and sarcastic. To be honest, though, I'm usually the one to throw out the first slight. It runs in my family. All in good fun, though. I don't ever mean to hurt any feelings. Though, I'll admit, that does happen, on occasion.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
10 Dec 08
Hi JeztheNun, Thank you for commenting. I think you prove the point that friends rarely mean to hurt our feelings and your attitude towards it works for you. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
11 Dec 08
I quite agree with your statement that we need to have more tolerance power and forbearance, if our friends ruffle us. You see it depends upon one's nature, everybody is sensitive to some extent, but if the limit or degree of sensitiveness increases, then it becomes a problem. I take comments of my friends in right spirits and sportingly, even if they are criticizing me, I suppose that they are doing it for my 'good'. I know that very friends also appreciate my positive traits so they have a right to criticize me.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
12 Dec 08
Many thanks for your kind words.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi dpk, You have the right idea and I appreciate your responding. Blessings.
• United States
17 Dec 08
I enjoy candid people. And I appreciate constructive criticism. i also enjoy a good ribbing it's a sign that you are comfortable with someone when you can bust his balls. You can tell when it's good natured joking or just plain maliciousness. Also I can't abide racism, that's a deal breaker. Some people think that because you are the same color as them that gives them a greenlight to drop the nbomb. Screw that!
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
17 Dec 08
Thanks for commenting Iconoclast1, I agree with you, especially about the racism. Blessings.
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
11 Dec 08
Hi Pose ,this is a wonderful post indeed,and I fit all your description to the'T'.....Yes I am a friendly but sensitive person,and get easily ruffled by certain comments made by friends.I used to break up with my friends easily,but now I have matured and have learned to weigh the worth of my friend ,and my ego.Its easy to forgive,since mistakes are made by everyone,but its more painful to lose a good friend,for a silly mistake he or she made which can infact be overlooked,if viewed through a broader spectrum.If I break up a good friendship for the sake of some momentary mistake,I realise the loss will be too much for me to bear and over come,so I chose the path of forgiving or ignoring some momentary and slight comment or else extract an apology,and make the friend realise his/her mistake......
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi Rose, Once again you have come up with a great response. Everything you say here is true and you have added much to this post. I appreciate your comments and thank you for responding. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
12 Dec 08
Thank you Pose dear...
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
17 Dec 08
Thank you once again,for the BR........
• India
11 Dec 08
Heavy expectations are the root of sorrow. We expect from others he should have done this way or that way. But the person in front is as he is. Only difference is we are not able to accept how he is. If proceed this way, any additional thing in the direction of our thoughts, becomes a bonus. We shold learn to accept others opinions as bonus and not force our opinions on others. This sorrows ourselves than anyone else.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi JAGANPADIR, Thank you for that well thought out response, I appreciate it. Blessings.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Dec 08
I am extremely sensitive, but in the last three years, I have learned to get over things. I have a beautiful friendship right now, but we fight sometimes. When we do, I stop and think of all the good times I would have missed if I had decided not to forgive her. I also know that no one is perfect and if I stop and think things through and consider what the person may have been actually attempting to say, I am able to sit down and talk to her and get a better understanding of things. Close friend's are totally cool.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi Rozie, Thanks for commenting. Blessings.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Yes, is great to be able to forgive since we need to become less sensitive and respect everyone just the way they are since nobody is perfect. On the other hand, some people are so negative that is best to stay away from them. Sometimes you can breath their negativity from a mile away.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi Mirita, Thank you for commenting and I know what you mean about the negativity. Blessings.
11 Dec 08
I often have fights or quarrel with my friend but we don't hold on to that for very long after some days we gets united and again start behaving as if nothing has happened this is the thing which keeps our friendship alive.But by not talking about the fights, we don't tend to forget the matter that leads us into fight but try to avoid the situation that get us into fight
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi ketki, That's a good approach, thanks for commenting. Blessings.
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I agree with you. I believe that as I have gotten older, I've become less sensitive to things like that. I think that type of sensitivity is actually a sign of immaturity. It is a narcissistic attitude that everything is related to how I feel. It's immature to be so self absorbed.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
10 Dec 08
Hi rocketj1, Thank you for commenting and I think you are right. I also battled sensitivity as a young person. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@23uday (2997)
• India
11 Dec 08
Hi friends It sometimes hurts me when my friends ruffle me.I always stay away from mocking others.And my true friends hardly mock me.But there have been negative people who were frivalous with me,now I am staying away from them and now I am quite happy.Over the time,I have learned to forgive and forget those nasty things. Bye!!!!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi 23uday, Thank you for responding and I appreciate your comment. Blessings.