Spending time with your spouse
By tklich
@tklich (391)
United States
December 11, 2008 3:42pm CST
I'm looking for some ideas on what some different things my spouse and I can do together as a couple. We've only been married for a couple months now, and we have two kids living at home. "Alone time" is not exactly in our vocabulary! But I do believe that it's highly important for couples to spend a certain amount of time alone together. It's just straight up healthy for the relationship. Right now we don't do a lot of things at all. We very rarely go out, we usually spend most weekends at home. I work full time during the week, so we don't ever have the time or energy to do anything on weeknights.
How much time do you feel is important to spend alone with your spouse? What are some different ideas of things a couple could go out and do? What do you enjoy doing with your spouse? I'd love to hear some inexpensive ideas. We don't exactly have a lot of money by any means to be spending on extra curricular activities, so the cheaper the better!
Thank you in advance for the input and for taking the time to give me your thoughts on this! :)
2 responses
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
12 Dec 08
It may not be romatic, but my husband and I try to spend time alone together watching a movie. We rarely go out anywhere, and we have kids too. We will wait until the kids go to bed, turn off the lights, and watch a movie. Sometimes, we end up staying up wuite late just to do this, but in the end, it is definately worth it.
As far as the amount of time spent alone, I don't think there is a simple answer to that question. I think it varies from couple to couple. My husband and I have three kids that are home every day, ages 11,8, and 6, plus, his 20 year old brother lives with us, and every other weekend, sometimes more often, we have our fourth child at home with us, who is 4. As I am sure you cab guess, time alone for us is nearly impossible.
I think that the most important thing is to make the time to spend together, and as long as the time spent is quality time, the amount isn't as important.
If you are able to get a babysitter once in a while to give you a night out, take the opportunity. You can go bowling, swimming at your local YMCA, or simply go driving around. You can even go grocery shopping together. It really doesn't matter, as long as you are together.
@tklich (391)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Thank you so much for the response! I really like your ideas and advice. I think watching a movie together is a great way to spend some time together. I'm sure it is very hard in your case with there being kids and your brother in law. But I agree with the thought of once in a while getting a babysitter so we get the chance to actually go out and do something. We do like to go bowling, or just go sit at a bar, have a drink and just talk for a while. It's not terribly important that whatever we do be romantic...I know a lot of guys aren't like that, especially after you're married...lol. Thank you for taking the time to respond :)
@messageme (2821)
• United States
12 Dec 08
It's funny you mentioned shopping. I don't know how many times we have tried to go out only to find out we have nothing to do and always end up at wal-mart. LOL :) But even then we still enjoy it and walk around for an hour or more. It's just nice to be alone and not have any kids with for a change.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
12 Dec 08
My bf works third shift so from the time we put the kids to bed, which is 8 o'clock it is our time up until he has to go to work. Usually we will watch a movie and cuddle up on the couch together. Sometimes on weekends, Not very often, but we will find somone to watch the kids and we will go have a nice dinner and talk about things. Not our normal daily talk. It shouldn't always have to be something major you do together, every little thing helps.
