Ungentleman And A Jerk. Guys Would You Help?
By yuna15
@yuna15 (2706)
Philippines
December 11, 2008 11:15pm CST
Just wanna share with you an experience...
I was on my home riding inside a bus when suddenly I heard the loud voice a middle-aged man yelling to a lady passenger that she shouldn't ride in a bus if she doesn't want others to sit beside her.
He won't stop talking and even told the conductor to tell the lady to just ride a taxi . The conductor asked her what happened she started saying her story and then the guy again said "Shut up, you don't know who you're messin' with!."
For my Filipino friends here is what he exactly said "Tumigil ka baka di mo ko kilala." Wasn't sure if I said it right so I need your help to translate it. Hehe.
I didn't see how she was positioned but most likely she doesn't want to move away from the edge then she just wants to guy to sit in the middle. Which I always do myself especially if I'm near my destination.
If you were in my place would you do anything? To answer my own question honestly I did nothing, the guy was scary.
Ladies if you were in that girl's situation what would you do? To the men, if you were with that lady, what would you do? If you are just somebody else inside the bus, would you do anything?
Happy posting everybody!
8 people like this
35 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
12 Dec 08
I dun think she's sitting at the edge, because from what the man is complaining, she does not want anybody to sit beside her.. So in my mind, i guess she's actually blocking the man from going to the middle seat..
IN singapore, we do have such situations too, but too bad most of the time, singaporeans wont wanna help but only like to watch the live commotion.. If i were to face this kind of situation, i will make sure i know the whole truth b4 i offer my help, if not, it's gonna be very embarassing.. haha
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
14 Dec 08
Thanks. That's what's actually what I'm trying to say. I was having trouble relaying the story. Yes at the edge blocking the man's way but he is shouldn't rude. Why can't just ask the lady to stand for a while so that we could sit in the middle instead of being jerk right?
Your right it's possible that we haven't seen the whole thing. Thanks for the response kun!
2 people like this
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
Nothing, i would just ignore him. It is so obvious that he is a jerk. why would i move to the middle if i was seated there first? He should have looked for another vacant seat.He should be the one to ride or take a taxi because apparently he doesn't want to be sitting in the middle.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
Sorry I forgot to say in my discussion that there was no seat available but the seat beside her and the lady didn't want to move.
Like you I would have just ignored the guy but I just felt that women should sometimes fight back with this situation. In my mind I was like shouting, "you are a rude @$$h0le"
2 people like this
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
I agree that would have been good to the feeling, but to avoid a bigger trouble, i think we should just ignore him. so not to flare up things.
3 people like this
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
Yeah I guess the guy lacks so much respect for women. I think, the guy is just trying to be power struggling with the woman who doesn't want to move in the middle of the seat. I think if I were in her place I might just avoid conflict I would transfer to another seat that I wouldn't be bothered and humiliated. But if i do not have any choice I might as well fight for my right to take that seat already especially if I have already paid for my seat already.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
14 Dec 08
Sorry I forgot to mention in my discussion that there weren't any seat available. What he should have done was just politely tell the lady to move or she should have ask her to stand up for a while so that he could comfortably sit in the middle. I mean who does he think he is? He doesn't own the bus!
1 person likes this
@ademola07 (60)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
I feel so ashamed for those people who are so arrogant. He's a certified jerk!
But if I was in that bus, I won't interfere to that commotion. It's not that I am not concerned or something, I just don't want to make things worst for them and create additional arguments or anything. It's good to settle things with only those who are involved and maybe a person or two who will help them out. The conductor will do... =)
3 people like this
@avidwhit (1492)
• Mexico
12 Dec 08
Sounds like a real jerk. Personally I dont get involved in word fights with others. If the there is some kind of physical problem threat to someone thats another problem. Saying something might be like throughing gas on a fire. On the other hand a soft hey "have soem respect" might be in order as well.
@dragonflyfli (5528)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Wow. That guy had some issues that day. I dont know what that string of words means, sorry. Im guessing it wasnt nice though. I think i would have done different things depending on my mood. Sometimes I just dont let anyone walk all over me no matter what you look like or who you are. And other times i would have been silent and pretended like he did nt exist.
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
20 Dec 08
As far as I know, even I wouldn't know someone as arrogant as that man but, similar to what you did, I might as well be just apathetic with the situation since things like that happen most of the time on scenarios wherein plenty of people get to be cramped into limited spaces, like that bus you mentioned.
But, if I think I could handle that man, I might as well speak up and tell how unreasonable his claim is. 'Shut up, you don't know who you're messin' with!' he says? Yeah, we sure don't, as everyone else in that bus where strangers use all the time. If he was indeed someone known, known people don't use public utility vehicles. 
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
12 Dec 08
Here in Mumbai, getting a seat is important, no matter where, so everybody sits where the place is empty. If I am sitting on the ailse side and the person near the window gets down, I may or may not move towards the window. The person who wants to sit may have to squeez in towards the window seat. We dont take from anybody and give back as good. Thats what she should have done. Why take from him when you are paying your fare. I would not sit quiet. Sometimes, I would ignore that guy, if he were old and make concessions.
2 people like this
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
14 Dec 08
Nevertheless the guy shouldn't have been a jerk. He was like in his 40's and the girl is like in her late 20's. If the lady didn't let him why not ask politely to move or if he could adjust a little so he could squeeze in?
That's what's most Filipinos do, but not this guy. It's not something that you would commonly see in a public bus here in the Philippines.
1 person likes this
@carinio98 (2929)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
guys like that have criminal records...lol... for me a guy like that dont fear of anybody cuz he know he have a group of notorious criminals... but if i got a position like the lady you said... ok go ahead site at the 1st line... for me karma will dig you up....
3 people like this
@anneshirley (1516)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
It is a public transportation so first come first serve. If the lady does not want to move seat then that is her right. They will pay the same fare and they are both passenger so no one has the right to order her around. Maybe the reason the man is asking her to move to the middle is that he is big and he will not be comfortable during the ride. If that is the case then he should have just remain standing for all he want. Also, coming from a ladies point, I don't want to sit in the middle or even to the other side. I prefer seat along the isle because you'll never know the other person you're with. What if he is a maniac or someone with bad intention, how will you fight if other passengers can't see you? This is just another proof about many jerks walking on this earth. I wish sometimes they would let their mind work even for a while. LOL
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
14 Dec 08
You are so right dear! I avoid sitting in the middle especially if the guys next to me are men! Men have dirty minds no offense to guys here but we women are just trying to protect ourselves the best way we can.
Maybe this guy's mind is in his b@ll$ don't you think? Haha! 
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
12 Dec 08
Hi yuna15,
I think that this man was very rude, if you didn't like what the lady wanted, then he should get off the bus himself, I always sit where I can get off at my destination easily, he is the one the bus driver should put off.
Tamara
2 people like this
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
21 Dec 08
It depends on what kind of mood I was in at the time. If I were in a good mood, I would probably ignore him completely and simply get off of the bus at my destination. Now, if I had a bad day already, I would be likely to give the jerkl a piece of my mind. I would tell him how rude and inconsdiderate he is, but I would do it very tactfully.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
12 Dec 08
I have no idea what I would do. As I have never been in that kind of situation before. But that would be scary to say the least. I am wondering thou, how id teh conductor handle it?
I would think I would make the man sit inside to. That way if he trys to do something I could get a way. I don't like being bunched in being a female myself by a man.
2 people like this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
13 Dec 08
The guy was a total jerk... i think if i were in the position of the lady... i also wouldn't want to sit beside him... and i would definitely set my ground and will even pay for the space myself... that is what i do when i ride infornt of the jeep... and i do not want to share the space... i just pay for two...
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
13 Dec 08
Obviously, the guy had attitude problems or was just a nut case. I believe the conductor ought to take issues under control. They ought to stop the bus near a police station and hand this creature over to the police station. I don't think any of the passengers would have been able to help this lady.
Cheers and happy mylotting
2 people like this
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I would probably ignore him because he sounds like he is crazy.
2 people like this
@jands1 (835)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Poor little thing! So like a jerk to try to intimidate another person.
I have had a man try this before, "You don't know who you are messing with." My smile went away, I dropped my voice to barely a whisper, looked him right in his eyes and said, "You don't know who I am. Who I know and who my family is." Seemed to work because his eyes bugged out and he backed away from me. I went back to smiling and my normal sweet voice and said, "So now, are we now able to be respectable people now?"
Of course, if one is going to stand up to a bully, one has to be aware they may have to put their words into action. But, it is better than being a victim.
If you choose to not intervene in a situation that may be...negative, physically, you could have always motioned her over to sit with you or you could have sit with her and acted like her long lost friend. :)
2 people like this
@camomom (7535)
• United States
17 Dec 08
It would depend on how much of the situation I had seen. If I saw the entire situation I would probably step up and say something to either the man or the conductor. I would also suggest to the conductor that he remove the man from the bus.
2 people like this
