STEP PARENTS! Are we sneaky when it comes to our lovers ex?

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So I have known my boyfriend for over a year now, had been living together for 6 months before saying we were dating. When I met him he told me he had kids and a girlfriend and he just wanted a friend that was female to keep him sane. For the months that he didn't live with me I pretty much counseled him through the problems at home and showed him where to go for help and what not. He decided on his own that he was leaving her one night and called me up. After that I didn't let him leave. I have seen many friends turn to alcohol and there was no way this one was going to. I tried to get him to go back to his ex and told him I didn't want to be that other girl. So when we moved out of my house into a bigger house I finally met his ex when she dropped off the kids. I told him and her that was the only time I ever wanted to have to meet her. Every other time after that I would stay in the house and he would go grab the kids and I wouldn't have to be around. I used to peek out the windows and doors and leave a window open so I could kind of make sure they weren't talking about getting back together or anything. It was so weird for me because I was so confused. I wanted to show him I cared enough for him to be with his ex and his kids but at the same time I was falling for him and he had already made up his mind. He wanted to be with me. So here I am sitting in the middle of this family. But everyone is happy right now so its not so bad. But I'm wondering how long were you sneaky and try to peek or listen in to whats going on? I only did for the first few weekends. Once I seen there was nothing going on I had no worries so I stopped.