Should or shouldn't boyfriend give allowance? Marriage what is the meaning toYou

Singapore
December 15, 2008 3:57am CST
What do you think should a boyfriend give allowance to his Gf or not? my ex use to give allowance to me, after break up with him, i am on my own. my current bf is disagree of this "giving allowance to gf". i was thinking. If he really not agree with this, in future, after we get married, he may throw this question to me " since u are my gf tht time, i did not give u allowance now as ur hubby i dun think u need it, since u can independent on your own". my friend used to tell me not to depent on guy. i agree with her. But for my opinion, if i can be independent financially. I will not get marry. BF just a status and accompanionship. Having child is another stage of marriage. What is marriage mean to you? in my opinion, if i can provide financially to my family, that will be very good but i can't pay the price of not seeing my child grown up. I wanted to be come fulltime mom. I am living in Asian, which require us to work in longer hours. I need to see others side of perspective.
2 responses
Wizzywig
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
15 Dec 08
I would also agree with your friend about not being dependent on a man to support you but, if you are not earning because you are taking full time care of a child that's different. In that case, the 2 of you are both working to provide a home and bring up the child and, therefore, the household income belongs to both of you. I stayed home with our children when they were young and all incomes were 'ours' not 'his' or 'mine'. Now that I am the one who is employed, the same principle applies. We both have a small weekly amount for personal expenses.
NicoleEastwood
@NicoleEastwood (5)
• Singapore
16 Dec 08
Thanks Wizzywig, for your comment. I felt a lot better now. It should be ours, not "his" or "mine". In the family,hubby and wife, both should be contribute to the family. I felt less bother about that matters now. :)
angelia286
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
16 Dec 08
Wizzywig.. I would agree with things becoming 'ours' instead of 'mine' and 'yours' AFTER marriage. However, I believe that no matter what, women need to have their own source of income even after the income becomes 'ours' as one would never know when your man will stray and whether the marriage will fall apart one of these days. As such, women will have to keep their own money apart from the one that they contribute into the household. BUT! I totally disagree with having a boyfriend just so I can use his money. Afterall, the guy isn;t married to the lady and is no way indebted to give her allowance and on top of that to expect the guy to pay for all my expenses. That would be going way too far! I mean, we will have to put ourselves in other's shoes. Do we want our other half to treat us that way? Like a money tree? If no, then don't treat others that way! Take care and happy mylotting!!
angelia286
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
16 Dec 08
Nicole, as mentioned, that should be the way only AFTER marriage. But it should never be that way before marriage. Afterall, a boyfriend is not a moneytree. All relationships are to be handled with mutual respect and trust. Talking about money even before marriage is bound to let others think that you are with the person just for money.
angelia286
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
16 Dec 08
A boyfriend should NEVER give allowance to just a girlfriend. In today's world, one will never ever know who is true and who is not. Many girls are out there just to cheat a guy of his money. So, by giving money, how can the guy be sure whether or not the girl is with him because of who he is, or because of money. I'm sure that we don't want our guys to treat us that way too by insisting that we give them an allowance? What's the meaning of marriage to me? Well, to me marriage means commitment and that I am ready to commit my whole life to my other half. Finance is never an issue for me in this. A couple can get married be it whether they are poor or rich. It's how both work issues like this out that makes the marriage work. As the saying goes, Get married to the one who you can't live without, not get married to a person you can live without. There's a reason for this saying, and well if one can live without that person, then for what we get married to that person? No matter what, we are who we are. So, no matter what happen, even in married life, ensure that we have our own money for backup purposes in the event if a divorce were to happen, or in the event that our husbands stray, we won't be left with nothing. Girl power! And equality between the sexes. That is what our forefathers have fought for us. We can't be hypocrites and demand for equality in the workplace, and at home things are not equal by expecting the guys to pay for everything. That would really be unfair!